DEAR ABBY: We have owned our house for 31 years and raised our kids here. They are grown now and have moved out. Several families across the street have come and gone.

The most recent owners have two kids, one in kindergarten and another in first grade. Every morning before school, the mom lets her kids run wild, screaming, yelling, riding their bikes and scooters unsupervised in the street from 7:45 to 8:30 a.m. My husband is retired and hears this every morning. He has a back injury and two hip replacements, so he doesn't sleep well and isn't an early riser.

Today he finally went over and asked her not to let them do this every morning. She, of course, became defensive and said she likes to let them play before school and thought 8 a.m. wasn't unreasonable. Not only are the kids loud, but cars often race up the road and it's dangerous. We were always out there watching our kids on this road, especially when they were that age.

Are we a couple of old fogies, or do you agree she is an irresponsible parent? -- UPSET IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UPSET: Playtime at 8 a.m. may not seem unreasonable, but it is to someone who has health and sleep problems. However, your neighbor has a right to let her children out to play before school. I wouldn't call you a couple of old fogies, but I would point out that after people reach a certain age, their needs can change. Try earplugs or double-paned bedroom windows. But if that doesn't help, it may be time to consider moving to a community for people over 55.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for five years. He's always been a jokester, which is OK, except for the way he does it. He knows what pushes my buttons, so his jokes are geared toward that. At first, I ignore it, but when he persists, I get mad. Then he accuses me of overreacting and calls me unreasonable for getting mad because he's "only joking."

If a husband knows what pushes your buttons and makes you yell at him (which I never did before I met him), isn't that playing with your emotions for his own entertainment? I'm not the only one he does this to. His daughter has been on the receiving end many times. He claims she's being unreasonable, too. I have asked him to stop, but he doesn't. It's affecting our relationship. I almost feel like he's gaslighting me. What say you, Abby? -- PUSHING MY BUTTONS

DEAR PUSHING: I say you are absolutely right. Your husband's behavior is emotionally abusive, not funny. It would be interesting to know how years of that kind of treatment have affected his daughter. The effects of a parent's ridicule can remain with a child into adulthood.

Because you haven't been able to get through to him, perhaps you should enlist the assistance of a licensed marriage counselor. If he refuses to go with you, you should go by yourself. And if nothing changes, ask yourself if this is how you are prepared to spend the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband is coming to our small town to celebrate our daughter's graduation. He is bringing along his parents. I'm happy they are coming to show love and support for our daughter; however, his mother has dementia.

She's difficult to deal with now, and my ex doesn't manage the situation well. They take her to restaurants and hotels and allow very uncomfortable scenes to play out -- like sending food back (every single time) or allowing her to accuse the housekeeping staff of thievery. Rather than rationally deal with the problem themselves, they put the staff in a very awkward position.

The poor woman has a mental condition. It isn't a secret to the rest of us. I have figured out techniques to deal with her. I am going to cook some meals for them while they are here, but based on my work schedule, that's all I can do. Should I call ahead to the hotel and restaurants to warn them of the impending storm? -- HURRICANE INSANITY

DEAR H.I.: If you are known at the restaurants, you should definitely call ahead and speak to the manager about the fact that the poor woman is "not well." I'm sure it would be appreciated, and perhaps the party can be seated in a private area of the restaurant.

When someone has dementia, there comes a point where they should be kept in familiar surroundings to avoid situations in which the person can become agitated. This may be what's happening with your ex-mother-in-law when she finds herself in an environment she's not used to.

The Alzheimer's Association hosts support groups for caregivers and for families with loved ones who have dementia. In these groups, coping techniques are discussed. Your ex might benefit by reaching out, preferably before he and his mother make the trip. He can contact the association at www.alz.org or by calling the 24/7 helpline at 1-800-272-3900.

DEAR ABBY: You know the adage, "You don't know what you've got 'til you lose it"? In 2009, before I was deployed to Kuwait, I was in a short relationship with "Donna." Because I didn't want her to worry about me while I was gone, I ended it and broke her heart. (Big mistake.) When I came home, Donna had moved away, and I lost her phone number when my old phone broke. Since then, I have not been in any relationships, and not a day goes by that I don't think about and miss her and the inside jokes we had together. Lately, it has gotten worse.

I know Donna's sister still lives here. Should I go and ask her about Donna, and how she's doing and where she is now, and whether she'll contact her for me? Or should I just keep trying to get over her? -- REGRETTING IT IN THE WEST

DEAR REGRETTING: What are you waiting for? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. By all means, talk to Donna's sister, who might enjoy being able to play the role of Cupid. If Donna is still single and available, she may be as glad to see you as you will be to see her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married, heterosexual male. My wife found out a year ago that I have been cross-dressing, and she's not OK with it. She told me not to do it anymore.

I love my wife and I don't want to lose her, but this is who I am and I can't change it. I had an idea. My sister-in-law lives with us. She's a few years younger than my wife, very open-minded and liberal. I'm wondering if you think I should come out to her in the hope she can persuade my wife to let me dress up, or go behind my wife's back and help me dress up?

The downside would be that I'd have to go into her room and try on her clothes. She probably wouldn't be pleased about that. Also, she has such a close bond with my wife that she might tell her and refuse to help me. Any ideas, Abby? -- HOPELESS CROSS-DRESSER

DEAR CROSS-DRESSER: If this is who you are, you should have told your wife about your need to cross-dress before you married her. I do not think you should attempt to recruit your sister-in-law because, whatever she decides, it could damage either your marriage or their relationship.

Not knowing your wife, I can't guess how amenable she would be to counseling. Some women don't mind accommodating their husbands and enjoy helping them cross-dress. However, if your wife can't adjust, you will have to ask yourself whether you can continue in this marriage.

DEAR ABBY: You often give advice to readers about seeking professional counseling for challenges like the death of a loved one or substance abuse. How successful is it when they have sought counseling, mainly for divorce or other serious relationship issues?

My experience is similar to those I hear about from friends who have gone to counseling with their spouse or significant other. The outcome seems to have been the same as tossing a coin: Heads it worked, tails it didn't.

After decades of reading your column, and 10 years after trying counseling to save a marriage, I'm still ... SKEPTICAL IN TEXAS

DEAR SKEPTICAL: When a loved one dies, some survivors become "stuck" in the grieving process and are unable move through it without professional help. In the case of substance abuse, addiction creates problems that affect all of the abuser's relationships. This is why I often recommend 12-step groups. While the abuser may be in denial, those around him/her can find help for themselves, reassurance that they are not suffering alone and skills to help them cope.

I'm sorry counseling has not helped you to heal your marriage. With a troubled marriage, a counselor can often facilitate broader communication than couples can achieve on their own. However, like most relationships, marriages can be "saved" only when both spouses are willing to do the work to make it happen. When I advise readers to seek counseling, it's usually because I feel they need more ongoing support than I can offer in a letter.