DEAR ABBY: I am 26 years old, and my mother still walks around naked in front of me with no warning. I've told her several times that it makes me uncomfortable, but she seems not to take me seriously. In her culture (she's not from the U.S.), walking around naked is no problem. But I'm tired of seeing her breasts unexpectedly.

I'm all about positive body image, but it's strange to me to see a 62-year-old woman's breasts. Am I the one who has an issue? I'm open to any advice or recommendations. -- 'NUDIE'S' DAUGHTER IN HOUSTON

DEAR DAUGHTER: It appears you are, indeed, the one who has the issue. If you're seeing your mother walk around in a state of undress, I'm guessing that, although you are an adult, you are still living under her roof. In her house, she has the privilege of making the rules, not you. If she is comfortable walking around au naturel, you will either have to accept it or move out. The choice is yours.

DEAR ABBY: A while ago I noticed that my fiance had been hiding empty cans of beer from me. After I go to sleep (he is a night owl and I usually end up going to sleep first), he goes to the store and buys a can or two of beer. But instead of throwing the empty cans out, he hides them. When I accidentally discovered his hiding place, I told him he didn't have to hide them from me. Now, every once in a while I check the same spot, and I have noticed that he has been hiding them again.

A beer or two is OK with me, Abby, considering the stresses he deals with at work. What worries me is that he feels the need to hide the cans from me after I told him he doesn't have to. Does this mean he has a bigger problem that needs to be addressed? Please help! -- UNSURE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UNSURE: Yes, he does. Your fiance apparently feels guilty about his nightly beer drinking, which is why he hides the evidence. The two of you need to have a serious conversation about it, preferably before the wedding.

DEAR ABBY: There is a reaction that sometimes happens when my daughter and I meet someone new that really frosts me. When someone says, "You look like sisters," I want to say, "Baloney!" In the first place, we do not look like sisters -- our 22-year difference is very obvious. I know the speakers think they are flattering me, but what they are really doing is making my daughter think she looks older. Please ask your readers to stop and think before making such fake-flattery comparisons. -- BALONEY IN COLORADO

DEAR BALONEY: I can ask my readers to refrain from saying it, but please explain to your daughter that the compliment is meant for you, indicating that you look young for your age -- not that she looks old for hers.

DEAR READERS: I deeply appreciate the relationship I have with you. You make my life a joy. Please allow me to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My boss wants to do a day of community service with the staff to help others and improve relationships in the workplace. I thought it was a great idea; a lot of my co-workers were unsure and wanted more information about what specifically we would do. My boss said she would get more information and send it out to us. However, a few of my co-workers are outright opposed to the idea and think they shouldn't be required to do it.

A year ago when this came up, one of them said they shouldn't have to give up their free time. I think it's wrong to turn down a chance to help others when they are able. What should I do to make sure my boss's intentions are understood while not being off-putting or appearing holier-than-thou? -- BLEEDING HEART

DEAR BLEEDING HEART: The person who should be making her intentions clear is your boss. It should not be your responsibility. Frankly, I can see both sides of this question. Some companies do this not only to "do good," but also to build goodwill in the community and team spirit in the office. Usually, participation is voluntary.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He's eight years younger than I am. We have a great relationship except for our worldviews. While I am liberal, he is very racist. When the subject comes up, our conversations can become very heated.

I believe everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but both of us have a hard time validating our opinions for each other. My boyfriend never directs his racist comments toward anyone in particular, but it's hard for me not to take it that way.

One of my best friends is African-American, and my son is currently dating someone who is biracial. How do we agree to disagree without anyone being upset or hurt in the end? -- OPEN-MINDED IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR OPEN-MINDED: After two years of togetherness, your boyfriend knows full well that one of your best friends is African-American and that your son is dating someone who is biracial. You may never be able to broaden his mindset, but the next time he makes a racist remark, if you haven't already, tell him you don't want to hear it because it makes you uncomfortable.

And while you're at it, make sure he understands that if he says anything that could possibly hurt your friend or your son, the romance will be history.

P.S. You must be desperate for companionship to have tolerated this for two years.

DEAR ABBY: A family member likes to use the toilet as a garbage disposal. I've asked her to please dump the food scraps into a trash bag or pour them out in the backyard, but she prefers the "easy flushing." How do I get her to stop the extra wear-and-tear on our toilet? Plumbers are expensive. -- MONEY DOWN THE DRAIN

DEAR MDTD: Yes, plumbers are expensive. And there's a reason why we are supposed to use receptacles for what they're intended. If you are responsible for the toilet that's being used as a garbage disposal, make sure the family member knows she will be footing the bill for the plumber. However, if the toilet is her responsibility, this may be a lesson she will need to learn -- over and over -- on her own.

DEAR ABBY: My parents have been happily married for more than 30 years. While flipping through an old family album recently, I discovered photos from a wedding many years ago that I had never seen before. Turns out, they were from my father's first wedding. That's when I realized his marriage to my mother was his second wedding.

I'd like to learn more about his first marriage, but it's clearly something from my father's past that I can't talk to him about. I also wouldn't want to sour relations with his side of the family by bringing it up with them. What should I do? -- WANTS TO KNOW MORE

DEAR WANTS TO KNOW MORE: The shortest distance between two points is a direct line. How do you know this is "clearly" something your father won't discuss? If his first marriage was a deep dark secret, those photos would not have been kept in an album. The solution to your question would be to tell him you saw them and ask him to tell you about it. He may have learned lessons from his first marriage from which you could benefit.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in my late 20s dating my on-and-off-again boyfriend of five years. I dread the parties and family gatherings he brings me to. I'm polite and good at holding conversations, but generally quiet around his friends and family members I don't know well.

He jokingly puts me down at each event and says things like, "Why do I even bring you?" or, "Thanks for not doing or saying anything" (which isn't true). When I tell him afterward that I find his jibes offensive and suggest maybe he should date someone else who doesn't irritate him at social events, he either plays it off as "joking" or says, "Well, it's true."

Any advice on how to handle this situation? -- QUIET ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR QUIET ONE: Humiliating someone isn't funny; it is cruel. If the shoe were on the other foot, I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like to be on the receiving end. If you have told him you don't like his jibes and want them stopped and yet he persists, handle it by re-evaluating your relationship and looking for someone who is more sensitive to hang out with. If the ridicule happens often, it may be a clue that you are really not compatible.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my mother a month ago. I just could not accept it because she was always there for me through the good and bad times. I would like to know how long my grieving period will last for me. -- SON MOURNING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SON MOURNING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. To answer your question, there is no set timetable for grief, and there are different stages of it. Right now, your grief is intense because it is fresh. With time, that intensity should fade to a level where it is tolerable. A grief support group could provide you the chance to talk about your feelings. Although you will always miss your mother, the sadness of her loss should not rule your life.