DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old drug user. I have been addicted for more than 20 years. I know it's wrong. I know I can be a better person. I got hooked when a supposed friend introduced me to crack in 1992. If I could only go back to that day, I'd kick the you-know-what out of him. I was all set to make something of my life.

In 2010, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. It only got worse. I have hurt the people I care about the most. I have stolen from my mom. I have written checks on her bank account and pawned her jewelry. I don't know what to do.

I know I'm depressed since Dad died. I'm also disabled and on disability. I pretty much kept everything in check until 2001 when I lost the job I'd held for 17 years. I have drifted from job to job ever since.

So there it is. I have developed COPD. I'm on oxygen full time and can't work. I ask myself why I'm suddenly doing three and four times more than I've ever done. Do you think I'm that depressed? That I'm trying to speed my own death? I'm at a loss and need some guidance. I contemplate suicide daily, but I guess I'm too much of a coward. Can you help me? -- END OF MY ROPE IN FLORIDA

DEAR END OF YOUR ROPE: At this point, the only person who can help you is yourself. The problem with using drugs is that after a period of time, the body builds up a tolerance, and it takes more and more of them to achieve a high. This may be why your use has increased the way it has.

Because programs to help people break their drug habit usually cost money -- which you don't have -- go to www.na.org to find the location of the nearest Narcotics Anonymous meeting. As you may already know, NA is a fellowship in which addicts help each other to get off and stay off drugs. Please give it a try because it could save your life.

DEAR ABBY: My friend Bryan and I were at a sports bar watching a football game. We had ordered a large pizza, but had time for only one slice before we had to leave. I wanted to offer the remaining pizza to a group of college-age students sitting at a nearby table. Bryan was horrified and insisted we just leave. He said to offer the pizza would be insulting.

When I pointed out that another couple had once given us a half-filled bottle of champagne (they were heading to the theater), we accepted and appreciated it. He said that was different. What do you think? -- TRYING TO BE NICE IN L.A.

DEAR TRYING TO BE NICE: I think you're a nicer person than your friend Bryan. If the crowd at the next table was insulted, they could have refused your generous offer. Bryan may have nixed the idea because he didn't think of it first.

DEAR VETERANS: I salute you for your service to this country. My thanks to each of you, as well as to the brave men and women who are still on active duty. You are the personification of patriotism and self-sacrifice for your dedication to our country. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband was recently offered a new job that carries with it a significant increase in salary as well as upward mobility. He was offered the job by a woman he used to work with years ago. She will be his new boss.

It was recently brought to my attention that not only were they co-workers, they also used to sleep together. He tells me there's absolutely nothing there, and that I don't need to be worried. However, I can't help but wonder why they have maintained contact for all these years, and why she sought him out to work for her.

She is also married, and I wonder if her husband knows their history, and if he would be OK with his wife's request to work with a former lover.

Am I overreacting? Or should people cut off contact with their exes once they are married? Should I be worried about a physical or emotional affair? I just don't have a good feeling about this. Thank you for your help. -- NEEDS AN OBJECTIVE OPINION

DEAR NEEDS: In a situation like this, much depends upon the individuals involved and the circumstances of the breakup. Not all romances end acrimoniously. Sometimes they gradually diminish and the people involved move on.

It would be interesting to know who told you your husband and this woman were once lovers. If it was your husband, I think you have less to be concerned about than if it was someone "trying to be helpful." It is possible that the woman contacted your husband because she is familiar with his work ethic and his abilities and thinks he would be the best person for the job.

That said, however, there are four people involved in this situation. And your question about whether her husband is aware of their history is a good one, because he should be.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for your readers who take prescription medication. When they are finished with it, they should peel the label off the bottle, stick it to a piece of paper and send it through a shredder.

These labels contain a lot of personal information. If they fall into the wrong hands, they could become shopping lists for drug addicts and our landfills could become their next source. Better to be safe than sorry, if for no other reason than privacy. -- CHET IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CHET: I agree!

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Ian" for seven months. We met at work, and my friends convinced me to go out with him. I thought he was a nice guy, just shy. Now that we've been dating, I realize that's not the case.

Ian plays video games A LOT. They consume his life. He gets so aggravated that he slams buttons and curses incessantly. My nerves can't handle hearing it. I have anxiety issues, and when he does it, I nearly have a panic attack. When I tell him it's just a game, he won't listen.

He is also critical of me. It's mostly about my weight, but he also tells me I'm horrible and stupid. He complains about the way I play video games, my cooking, etc. Sometimes he loses his temper and snaps at me. He has slapped me a few times.

He's never intimate with me, but I know he's straight because he watches porn when he thinks I'm asleep. We pretty much lead separate lives, but he talks about us getting our own place. We no longer work at the same company. I have a part-time job and go to school full time, but he won't even look for a job.

Part of me wants to end it. But this is my first real relationship, and I'm not sure if I can do any better. Help! -- CONFLICTED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: End it NOW! You are looking at this the wrong way. From where I sit, it would be practically impossible for you to have a worse relationship than this one. Ian is immature, emotionally and physically abusive and unemployed. Men who care about women don't treat them the way he treats you.

Ian should not move anywhere with you. If he does, you will have a heck of a time getting this freeloader out. Not only that, you won't be able to find anyone else because it will appear that you're already "involved."

DEAR ABBY: I hear people all around me talk about their grandkids and the great times they have. I have grandkids, too, but I don't know how to be a grandmother. My mother didn't have the skill, and I don't know what to do.

I'm in my early 50s, and I'm trying to do things now that I didn't get to do when I was young. I raised my kids. Am I supposed to spend all my time with them? I'm not sure I even want to. Does that make me selfish? -- LOST GRANDMA IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LOST GRANDMA: You don't have to spend "all" your time with your grandchildren. You should, however, see them every few weeks if possible so you can get to know each other.

Because you're not sure how to do that, ask their parents and some of your friends for suggestions on how to entertain them. It could be as simple as taking them to a movie, attending some of their school or sporting events, baking cookies together or taking them to a park during an afternoon.