DEAR ABBY: I know you provide a booklet to help teens with questions about sex. But when should I talk to my son or give him a copy? He will turn 9 soon. I know that is young, but kids today are exposed to so much so early. -- KRISTEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR KRISTEN: You're absolutely right; they are. They also mature earlier than children of previous generations. That's why it is so important for parents -- and guardians -- to begin discussing subjects like alcohol, drugs, sex and family values well before their children start experimenting. So talk to your son now. Do not be shocked if he tells you he has already heard it all from contemporaries. If he has, ask him to tell you what he knows, because what he heard may be inaccurate, and it will give you a chance to correct any misinformation.

My booklet "What Every Teen Should Know" can help to start the conversation. It has been distributed in doctors' offices and by educators and religious leaders, as well as parents like you who may find it uncomfortable to discuss these topics with their children. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Before giving your son the booklet, first read it yourself. The more information you can provide, the better prepared your son will be to make informed choices in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I have observed (and experienced) that people won't tell you about a husband's or wife's infidelity while you and your spouse are together. However, they WILL reveal it after the divorce or death. What purpose does that serve?

If people don't want to get involved, then allow me to make a suggestion: Send an unsigned letter in the mail with no return address. There are also phone features that let a person place an anonymous call. Call the workplace of the cheated-on spouse if you don't have his or her cellphone number. However you can, give the person as much information as you know. If you do, maybe a marriage can be saved, or a spouse won't have to deal with an STD. Do you have an opinion, Abby? -- STRICTLY ANONYMOUS

DEAR STRICTLY ANONYMOUS: People who feel compelled to tell others something "for their own good" should closely examine their motives before doing it. Unsigned letters with no return address are usually sent by cranks trying to target someone they want to hurt, or to destroy a marriage. If someone takes it upon him- or herself to notify a spouse about a mate's cheating, that person should be honest enough to state who he/she is. If people can't do that, they should mind their own business.

While some wives -- or husbands -- may be ignorant about their spouse's infidelity, the truth is that many already do know something is wrong, but are not yet ready to deal with it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my mid-30s who has recently recognized a pattern in my romantic relationships. A few of them lasted for several years, before they ended for various reasons. In between, I've gone a couple of years before seeking out and starting a new relationship. In the in-between time, I go online and meet people I have no intention of meeting in "real life," but who provide conversation and intimacy while I enjoy single life.

I'm about to repeat the pattern again. I'm a few months out of a three-year relationship and have met someone online. It's great to chat online and over the phone, but we are not close geographically, and I have no intention of meeting in person. What's your insight on this, and do you think this is healthy for me? Any ideas you can offer regarding this pattern? -- NEW RELATIONSHIPS

DEAR NEW: I wish you had told me more about the circumstances of your breakups. Were they your idea or the other person's? If they weren't your idea, you may be using the in-between relationships as a safe form of entertainment while you are healing.

If you are upfront with the people you're meeting online, and they realize you have no intention of letting these friendships go anywhere, then I suppose they are healthy for all concerned. If not, then what you are doing shows not only a lack of character, but also a lack of sensitivity for the feelings of others, and it may be one of the reasons your long-term relationships aren't lasting.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother gets on my case all the time because I don't clean the bathroom every day. She grew up in the '50s and '60s and was a stay-at-home mom to two boys. However, I am a graduate student with a part-time job. I spend hours studying, and when I get some free time, I use it to do things I actually want to do.

My grandmother insists that everyone she knows/knew cleans their house every day, and when she talks about cleaning the bathroom, she doesn't mean just picking things up; she means spraying down all surfaces and getting out the bleach or foam spray to clean down the bathtub. I don't think she understands that no one I know -- at least my age -- cleans their house that way every single day, and that because I'm busy most days and often tired, I don't want to come home and clean the whole house.

Am I lazy, or am I right in telling her that I will not deep-clean my bathroom/apartment every day? (I think deep-cleaning every two weeks is fine.) The free time I have is precious. How often is appropriate? -- SOUTHERN MARIE

DEAR SOUTHERN MARIE: If you haven't been able to convince your grandmother by now that your circumstances are different, the chances of it happening are slim to none. Under normal circumstances, deep-cleaning your bathroom once a week is fine and should keep it sparkling. If you're smart, you'll avoid arguing with her about this, because it's a waste of breath.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a beautiful apartment in the perfect location and have been here for three years. This past year my neighbors had a second baby. This child cries constantly during all hours of the night and most of the day. I hear the wailing and the parents yelling and slamming doors when they are frustrated.

I thought as the child got a little older it would get better, but it hasn't. He's now 1 1/2 and still crying constantly. I'm stressed out and losing sleep because of the constant commotion.

In the beginning, the parents were tolerant of their child, and I didn't complain because I didn't want to stress them out. Now I feel stuck. Should I complain directly to them, contact the building manager or just make arrangements to move?

I feel like a terrible person to complain. We must give young children and parents some leeway, but this isn't their first child, and I worry that something more is going on. I love this place, but I cannot continue like this! Please help me. I'm losing my sanity and goodwill toward children. -- LOSING MY SANITY

DEAR LOSING: It's possible that something is wrong with the child. Talk to the building manager, explain the problem, and say that a year and a half of the racket is enough. You may learn that you are not the only tenant bothered by the constant crying and door-slamming.

If the problem can't be corrected, contact a lawyer and check to see if you have grounds to break your lease and get out of there. You have a right to the quiet enjoyment of your home. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: Recently the news has been filled with stories of tragedy and heartache. So many innocent lives have been taken that it has proven to be challenging to process. Although I haven't personally known anyone affected in these events, I feel the weight of grief on my heart.

I know I'm not the only person who is confused about how to manage their emotions after national tragedies. Do you have any suggestions as to what to do during times like these? -- WANTING TO HEAL IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WANTING: Yes. But first, let me suggest what NOT to do. Do not remain glued to your television or computer screen taking in every graphic detail that invariably follows the announcement. Ration the input, and the "poison" will affect you less.

Talk about your feelings with friends and/or family rather than bottling them up and letting them fester. And if it will make you feel less helpless, donate some money to the families who have been affected by these tragedies to help with funeral or other unexpected expenses. While it won't fix their heartache -- or yours -- it will let them know that others care.

If it won't depress you further, participate in community rallies, vigils or other organized events to show support. This, too, can help.