DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and dating this older guy. Everyone is afraid that one day I'll just disappear, but he isn't like that. I know him from when I was younger, and my dad and his dad were really close. People just don't trust me, even though I have told them nothing but the full truth from the start. I'm happy. What should I do? -- MISUNDERSTOOD IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: It might help if you ask this young man to talk to your parents about his interest in you. If he is nice, respectful and employed or in school, they may be less suspicious about his intentions.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago we lost a very close friend of mine, not to death but to a relationship. "Ben" is the most genuine, caring and loving person you could ever meet. He and my sister dated for what seemed like forever, but unfortunately it didn't work out. We were all devastated. Still, after their relationship ended, he was around because he had become like a member of our family.

Ben finally met a great woman he cared for. We were all happy he had found someone and maybe he'd finally be the great dad we knew he could be. Our family loved his new girlfriend, and welcomed her to all gatherings as she was an extension of him.

Six months to a year into their relationship, we learned that Ben failed to mention to her that he and my sister had been an item for many years (engaged at one point). When she found out, she demanded that he stop talking to us. We even had a "goodbye" dinner with him.

Ben is now married to his then-girlfriend. I miss him dearly and think about him every week as he was that important to me. He attended all birthdays, graduations, etc., and he has now missed many of them. I always thought he would be the "uncle" my children never had.

Would it be selfish or unfair to him if I approached his wife about letting us back into his life? -- MISS HIM DEARLY

DEAR MISS HIM: I don't think it would be selfish or unfair to Ben, but depending upon the level of his wife's insecurity, it may be unsuccessful. Ben should have been honest with her from the beginning about his connection to your family. That the information was withheld from her may be why she reacted the way she did.

DEAR ABBY: My cousin was hard up and needed a place to stay because where she was wasn't a good place for her. I told her she could stay with us, there was no need for her to pay rent because everything was already covered, and to just help with groceries. Well, she has been here a while now and she not only hasn't pitched in, but also helps herself to our car since she doesn't have one.

You tend to have the best advice. Please tell me what to do, because I'm not sure. -- FAMILY FIRST? IN INDIANA

DEAR F.F.: Have a talk with your cousin and repeat the agreement you had with her before she moved in. Then tell her that if she doesn't start living up to it, she will have to make other living arrangements.

P.S. If you don't want her using your car, don't let her have the keys.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a hypochondriac. I am currently waiting on the biopsy results for a mole I had removed. Right now I'm worried and miserable. I feel guilty for what I'm putting my husband through. I want to get therapy, but doing that feels like admitting I'm too weak to handle my problems myself. My husband thinks he's a bad husband because he can't help me.

This isn't the first time I have worked myself up over a medical condition I may or may not have, and it won't be the last. How can I deal with my fear of dying from something horrible without damaging my relationship with my husband? Can hypochondria be cured? It's starting to take over my life. -- HYPOCHONDRIAC IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HYPOCHONDRIAC: It's a wise person who seeks help for a problem that's ruining the quality of his or her life. You should definitely discuss your fear of dying with a licensed mental health professional. To do that isn't "weak" -- it's the opposite.

DEAR ABBY: My son is getting married in the fall and we're all looking forward to the celebration. There's just one problem. My daughter will be in the wedding and the bridesmaids' dresses are strapless. She will look beautiful in the dress, but she adopted a "hippy lifestyle" a year ago and stopped shaving her armpits.

The bride-to-be asked me how to approach her to request that she remove her armpit hair on the day of the wedding. Is there a tactful way to approach this without offending my daughter and possibly causing bad feelings between her and the bride? -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNSURE: I would discourage you from doing that. Although every bride wants her wedding to be "perfect," there's a point at which she must realize there are some things she can't control. An example of where that boundary should be drawn would be at her bridesmaids' armpits. During a formal wedding ceremony, bridesmaids usually keep their arms down, so unless your daughter's "pit hair" is so long she can braid it, it should not distract attention from the bride.

P.S. If hairy armpits in the wedding pictures concern her, they can be Photoshopped off.

DEAR ABBY: My parents built a two-bedroom apartment onto their house for my brother and his wife when they were struggling financially. They decided to move out of state, so my single sister is now in the apartment.

It has been a year, and my brother and his wife are now expecting. They have moved back to the area because they want to raise the baby near family, and want the apartment back. Of course, my sister doesn't want to give it back. I feel she shouldn't have to.

I agree with my sister that my brother gave it up. But my brother feels my single sister doesn't need a two-bedroom apartment. On that point I agree with him. My husband, my parents and I are in the middle. What do you think should be done? -- SQUABBLING SIBLINGS

DEAR "SQUAB": Get out of the middle by stepping away. The apartment belongs to your parents, and it is up to them to decide who gets to use it. The rule of etiquette in a situation like this is: Mouth shut! (The more you involve yourself, the more one of your siblings is sure to resent you.)

DEAR ABBY: I am very excited to be proposing soon to the man I want to spend my life with. My family is excited for me -- with one exception. My younger sister, whom I want to be my best woman, says she doesn't know if she will be able to participate in our wedding because she's having trouble reconciling that her faith tells her same-sex marriage is a sin. I have explained that it will be a civil ceremony with a judge instead of a religious figure and she says that this "helps," but she still doesn't know if she can be part of it.

I love my sister and I know that if she didn't love me in return, she wouldn't be struggling with this; she just wouldn't participate. She's racking her brain and her Bible trying to find a way to square her faith with her love for me and my soon-to-be fiance.

Despite this, I can't help feeling hurt that she views my relationship as a sin she can't be part of. If she decides she can't stand with me in my wedding, I don't know what to do. If she can't support my marriage, should I ask her to not come to the ceremony? -- WEDDING WOES

DEAR WEDDING WOES: I don't think you should be retaliatory and tell your sister to stay away if she feels her faith doesn't permit her to be a member of your wedding party. If that's the case, she may decide on her own not to attend.

What you should do -- right now -- is decide whom else you would like to stand up with you on this important occasion. Choose someone who has no question about whether you are doing the right thing. I hope your special day will be a happy one and that you will allow no one to blemish it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been on and off again with this boy for about a year now, and he is socially awkward whereas I am not. He is extremely funny and loyal.

I'm 13 and I think he wants to move to the next level of our relationship, and I'm not ready for that. He talks a lot of crap about my friends, too. I feel like I need a break from him. How do I let him know how I feel without sounding rude? -- TEEN IN ALBERTA, CANADA

DEAR TEEN: Be clear in your messages to him. Tell him you don't like the way he talks about your friends, and you don't want to hear him do it again. If he pushes you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell him NO and that he should stop immediately. It is not rude to create boundaries for yourself; in fact, it is healthy. It is more important to be forthright than to be polite.