DEAR ABBY: My friend "Steve" is in his mid-20s and became a father a few months ago. He's happy and excited about it, and he's good with the baby. He has been living with the mother, "Nina," who is a few years older, for a while now. Nina is also a friend of mine, and this is her second child.

My problem is that Steve told me some time before his son was born that he thinks he is gay. He wants to wait until Nina recovers from the pregnancy and finds a job before he tells her. I know he intends on being as big a part of the child's life as possible.

As much as I don't want Nina to be a single mother twice over, it doesn't seem good for her, Steve or the children to stay in a sham relationship. How can he break the news to her in a way that won't jeopardize his chance to be a father to his son? -- CONCERNED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR CONCERNED: This will have to be handled delicately because Nina may be clueless about Steve's sexual orientation. Expect her to be hurt and furious when she gets the news. It was reckless of Steve to have had unprotected sex with Nina under these circumstances.

That said, gay men can be great parents, and the focus should be on successful co-parenting of the child. If Steve were straight and found another woman, or fell out of love with Nina, it would affect the relationship in much the same way as his realization that he is gay. In either of those scenarios, the baby must be raised with love and consistency, whether the parents are coupled or not.

Steve's moral responsibility to his son will last forever. Gay or straight, Steve will always be that child's father. His financial responsibility will last until the boy is no longer a minor. If your friend encounters trouble achieving a workable solution with Nina regarding co-parenting, he should contact lambdalegal.org. Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of LGBT people.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating an awesome man who happens to be married. He and his wife have been separated for 10 years and they still talk to each other, but they are not living together.

"Mr. Right" is retired from the military and says they are still married because of her health issues and the fact that she can't afford health care on her own. Should we continue to see each other? -- HIS HONEY IN HOUSTON

DEAR HONEY: If you are satisfied with the relationship, enjoy it for what it is. But if you aspire to anything more, this man is not in a position to give it to you. (Instead of referring to him as "Mr. Right," it might be more accurate to call him "Mr. Right for Now.")

DEAR ABBY: My father is 80. In his prime he was a businessman with lots of contacts. Most of his friends and siblings are gone now. He doesn't take good care of himself. His hair is unkempt, he goes weeks without shaving, his pants sag, and worst of all, his fingernails are full of dirt. He doesn't get out much, so I'm not sure it's important to him.

My main concern is how to handle this with the funeral home when he dies. Is this something they would clean? I can't imagine putting anyone through that. It would also not reflect who he really is.

I have never been comfortable confronting Dad about his appearance as he is sure to have his feelings hurt. I would appreciate your thoughts on this. -- CAN'T CONFRONT DAD IN INDIANA

DEAR CAN'T CONFRONT: Is your father in good physical health? If he is, could he be depressed or becoming demented? Those could be reasons why he has let his appearance go. From your description, your dad appears to have become very isolated. Perhaps if you encouraged him to join a senior group, he'd be more inclined to fix himself up and visit a barber. But I digress.

If your sole concern is how your father will look in his casket, your concerns will be alleviated when you talk about it with the director of the funeral home you plan to use. Making sure a body is clean and presentable is standard procedure.

DEAR ABBY: In recent years, when I befriend women, we start off having things in common (husband, children). Then these women lose all other interests and talk about nothing else. I have a wide range of interests (sports, travel, work, church -- you name it), and I'm willing to listen and learn.

Abby, I have never met these women's families and I am so tired of hearing their children's names that I'm starting to distance myself. I have dedicated most of my life to my husband and raising my children. I do not want to spend the rest of it talking about them. How do I handle these ladies? -- STARVED FOR STIMULATING CONVERSATION

DEAR STARVED: Birds of a feather flock together. If you want stimulating conversation, you will have to find another flock to fly around with. Sign up for classes at a local college, join a political campaign, volunteer at a hospital, join a group that helps the less fortunate, go to a museum. Do this and I assure you, you will meet others whose interests more closely match yours.

DEAR ABBY: I've met a man with whom I get along well. He is a physical therapist. We talk and joke during my therapy sessions. He makes them seem more like fun than work.

I think we could be friends if given the chance. When I have finished my therapy at the practice, would it be OK to ask if we could keep in touch? If so, how does one approach this? He's married, but I'm not looking for a romantic relationship. I would just enjoy being able to talk with him occasionally. -- ON THE MEND IN GEORGIA

DEAR ON THE MEND: When your therapy is completed, tell him you enjoyed the sessions and how enjoyable conversing with him was. Then ask if you can talk occasionally because he has many of the qualities you would like in a friend. You have nothing to lose by asking.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in the Marine Reserves. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will either resign or re-enlist.

He's obsessed with the idea of serving his country and deploying. He says he won't feel like he did his job if he doesn't deploy. While I respect that, for him to deploy, he must re-enlist, and his new contract will be for another six years. He could be sent overseas many times in six years.

I can't imagine life without him. Every time I even watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, because he is very brave, but how can I talk him into not re-enlisting or at least communicate that I don't want him to do this again? -- WANTS HIM STATESIDE

DEAR WANTS: Frankly, I am surprised you haven't told your fiance your feelings about this already, because you should have. While I wouldn't ask him to choose between you and his military service, I do think you have some serious thinking to do about your own future. Being a military spouse requires a special kind of strong, independent and dedicated person -- as you have already experienced. While you may love him, if this isn't a lifestyle to which you can adapt, then he may not be the husband for you.

DEAR ABBY: My mother's father recently got out of prison and was deported to Mexico. He had been in jail for 20 years, almost my entire life (I'm 22). While he was in prison, I wrote him several times, hoping to connect with him, but I never got a response -- not even an acknowledgement in his letters to my mom.

When I'm asked if I have any grandparents, I usually say, "I only have two grandmas." My father's father was the only real grandfather I had, and I loved him dearly. He died in 2003.

The problem is, my mom wants me to call her father "Grandpa" when I don't even know the man! In my opinion, the title of "Grandpa" is earned and not automatically bestowed. Am I being unreasonable and what should I do? -- ESTRANGED GRANDDAUGHTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ESTRANGED: You are not being unreasonable; you are being rational. You are not only not obligated to call this man "Grandpa," you are under no obligation to speak to him at all, and I wouldn't blame you if you kept your distance.

DEAR ABBY: I just got asked to my first high school dance by "Josh," a boy I really like. I don't know what to do, what to wear or what to say. I don't even know how to dance, and I don't want to mess this up.

Josh is very popular and has done this before, but I haven't. He's my best friend, and I'm scared of losing him because I'm not good enough. Should I go, or call it off and just stay home? Maybe I'm just not meant for all this dating stuff. What should I do? -- INEXPERIENCED IN NEVADA

DEAR INEXPERIENCED: If you weren't "good enough," Josh wouldn't have invited you to the dance. Because you haven't danced before, ask him to give you some pointers before the big night. If you do, I'm sure he'll be glad to help.

As to what to wear, if any of your girlfriends have attended the dances, ask them for suggestions. However, if none of them have been to a school dance either, ask any female relative of the same age -- or ask Josh.