DEAR ABBY: We recently lost our dog, a 13-year-old springer spaniel, to old age. His passing has left a huge hole in our hearts and lives. We miss his companionship, his personality and the structure that caring for him brought to our lives. We're 51 and 60, own our home and are financially secure.

Some of our friends are discouraging us from adopting another dog. They say we travel too much. Last year we spent 12 weeks away from home. When we travel, we hire a trusted pet sitter to move into the house and attend to all our dog's needs. Our pet always seemed happy and healthy when we returned.

I anticipate that we will continue to travel a similar amount in the future, but I'm not sure we will enjoy coming home to a house that has no dog to welcome us back. Abby, should a retired couple who travels adopt a dog? -- PET LOVER IN MEXICO

DEAR PET LOVER: At ages 51 and 60, if you and your husband are in good health, I see no reason why you shouldn't adopt another dog if you wish. Consider adopting one that is no longer a puppy. Shelters and rescue organizations are good places to adopt an older dog that needs a loving home.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor complains of cars honking at 8 in the morning. I have done this only three times when I have taken my son to school. I wait in the car for him, but if he's late by a couple of minutes, I'll honk.

The neighbors think it's rude because they have a 3-year-old who's asleep at that time. Do I confront them? What do you suggest? -- ON A SCHEDULE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ON A SCHEDULE: Knowing it will awaken your neighbor's child, refrain from honking the horn. If you need your son to hurry up, use your cellphone and call the house. Or, turn your engine off, lock the car and go inside and get him.

DEAR ABBY: My friend of 25 years, "Violet," moved back to town a few months ago after living far away for the last 10 years. Whereas we've always called and confided in each other often, now that she's here, I rarely see her, never talk with her and receive polite but curt refusals to do anything together.

I know the move was stressful for her, and I suspect the problem is more about her than me. But I am really hurt, and I miss her. My last request to get together and talk was met with, "I'm only doing what I feel I can enjoy and manage." It seems like that doesn't include our friendship.

Should I simply leave my old friend alone, or is there something you can suggest? -- JUST PLAIN SAD

DEAR SAD: Write Violet a short, sweet note. Tell her that you care about her, have always treasured her friendship and hope it will continue. Let her know that when she feels like talking, you will be there for her. It's really all you can do at this point.

After that, the ball will be in her court and you should NOT sit by the phone waiting for a call. Go on with your life and your other friendships as before. If she responds, terrific. If not, it will be her loss. Do not make it yours.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jimmy," and I have been together for two years. After about four months, out of necessity we moved in together and it was great.

Not long afterward I got a job two hours away. Since I moved, we get to see each other only every two or three weeks. The separation has been tough, but when we're together, everything is perfect and all is right with the world. I feel we were fated to be together.

Before the move, Jimmy and I often talked about marriage, and although I am not crazy about it, I knew it meant a lot to him, so I proposed (ring and all). He initially said yes, then sort of asked me to take back my proposal. Since then, he has been avoiding all discussions about our future, and I don't know what to do.

I'm willing to quit my job and go back to be with him, but I'm scared he's going to get cold feet. Obviously, I'm hopelessly in love with him, but now I'm feeling lost and confused. -- HOURS APART IN THE SOUTH

DEAR HOURS APART: Please allow me to offer some clarity. Do not quit your job because if you do, you may find yourself not only without a job but also without a place to stay.

When someone (man or woman) asks that a proposal be rescinded, it usually means the person feels he or she may have jumped the gun by saying yes. Jimmy is avoiding all discussion about your future because he doesn't want one, and he's afraid to say it directly because he knows it will hurt your feelings.

For your own sake, have an honest conversation with him about this. It may be painful, but it will be better than living in limbo the way you are. As the saying goes, "When a door closes, another one opens."

DEAR ABBY: Last Friday was Grandparents' Day at my kids' preschool. My parents attended and were well-behaved for the most part, but then my mother made a faux pas. She asked one of the directors when her baby was due. Well, Abby, the woman isn't pregnant.

When I picked up my kids, I had no idea what had happened. The director was having a conversation with one of the teachers when I walked in, so as usual I smiled and waved as I walked by. I did sense something was off when she didn't respond, but I figured she was preoccupied. When we met my parents for dinner, my mother told me what happened.

I am mortified. I managed to make it out of the preschool this morning without crossing paths with the director, but I'll be seeing this woman for the next couple of years. What, if anything, do I say to her? -- HORRIFIED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HORRIFIED: You did nothing wrong, so stop avoiding the woman and behave as you usually do. IF you notice that she treats you differently, all you should say is: "I heard what happened with my mother, and I'd like to apologize for her behavior. As you can see, she sometimes puts her foot in her mouth, but we love her anyway."

DEAR ABBY: I live in Israel, and for the past five years I've been having an affair with a great guy I'll call Yuri. I married very young to a man who is kind and very Orthodox. I love my children and grandchildren.

Yuri thinks we should leave our spouses and make a fresh start. (I'm not Orthodox and neither is he.) I am afraid if I do, I may lose my children and grandchildren. On the other hand, I can't survive without Yuri.

I have always had lovers since I discovered how Orthodox my husband is -- it's a survival thing. I am going nuts. What should I do? -- IN TURMOIL IN ISRAEL

DEAR IN TURMOIL: Consider VERY carefully what a new life with Yuri will cost you, because it's going to be emotionally expensive. Right now you are part of a community, with standing in that community. If you leave it, all of that will be gone, and you will likely be shunned.

While running away with your lover may seem romantic, I would be very surprised if it didn't spell the end of your relationship with your children and grandchildren. A decision like this should not be taken lightly; it needs to be made rationally. If you are "going nuts," you are not thinking rationally, so please, discuss this with a counselor more familiar with Orthodox custom than I.

DEAR ABBY: My ex sent our children letters from prison. I didn't give them the letters because he was abusive. In one of them he asked our daughter to forgive him and not punish him forever. Abby, her father had abused her, and he's asking for her to stop punishing him? She was going to kill herself because of what he did to her.

My daughter went through several years of intense counseling and still battles depression, so there is no way I'll permit him to have contact with her or my other children. I have had no contact with him since we split up several years ago. My lawyer mailed the divorce papers and that was that. Should I write him a letter and tell him what I think? -- NOWHERE IN TEXAS

DEAR NOWHERE: No, your lawyer should. One of the hallmarks of abusers is that they tend to blame their victims for their actions. The statement in your ex's letter accusing your daughter of "punishing him" with her silence is troubling. She's under no obligation to forgive her abuser.

When he is finally released from prison, one of the conditions may be that he must have no contact with minors. And if by then your children are no longer minors, one can only hope that they have become mature enough to protect themselves emotionally -- and physically, if necessary -- from their father.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and a girl in my grade likes me -- REALLY likes me, but I think I'm too young. All my friends say I should go for it and have her as a girlfriend, but I'm not sure I should. I need professional help. -- NOT QUITE READY IN GEORGIA

DEAR NOT QUITE READY: Determining when a person is "ready" for a romantic relationship isn't something other people can or should decide. If you're not sure you want a girlfriend right now, the fact that she likes you -- REALLY likes you -- isn't as important as what YOU think and YOU feel. You appear to have a good head on your shoulders. Let it be your guide and don't allow your well-meaning friends to push you into anything.