DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old daughter, "Rosie," recently came home in tears because a classmate, "Emily," told her I was a liar and she was an idiot for believing my lies. Then Rosie asked me if I had been the one putting money under her pillow and presents under the tree all along. Ultimately, I told her that, yes, I had. But I stressed how important it was that she not ruin other kids' belief in the tooth fairy, etc.

The cat is out of the bag for my child, but do you think I should mention this to Emily's mother? We are friendly, but not close. She lives near me, so I run into her often. I'm not just upset that Emily told Rosie, but also that she was so rude. I don't want that girl to do this to more kids.

It's not about criticizing the mother's parenting skills. My kids need correction sometimes, too. I just believe it takes a village and we should all work together as parents. What are your thoughts? -- CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG IN MARYLAND

DEAR CAT'S OUT: It's a shame that your daughter got the news the way she did. But in situations like this, when one child knows something the others don't, it's not unusual for the child to share the "news."

Emily was out of line to have said what she did to your daughter, particularly in saying that she couldn't trust you, because it could have far-reaching implications. By all means have a word with Emily's mother.

DEAR ABBY: I have an extreme aversion to alcohol and those who consume it. I suspect that it comes from having a father who was a violent, emotionally abusive alcoholic. Alcohol has zero appeal for me and, as I'm in my mid-20s, it's difficult for me to go on outings with friends without having to go to a bar. I become that grumpy, silent person in the corner.

Because of this, my fiancee has begun socializing with her family and our friends without me. Most recently, they celebrated a sibling's 21st birthday and left me home across the country. Talking to her and knowing she's at a bar and drinking makes me extremely angry, and we almost always end up in a fight about it.

I know this is MY problem. Do you have any advice on getting over it? -- DOESN'T TOUCH THE STUFF IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR DOESN'T TOUCH: Yes. Either get counseling for your issues and to help you recognize that not everyone who enjoys an alcoholic beverage is an alcoholic, or find a woman to marry whose views more closely match your own. There is a support group called Adult Children of Alcoholics that might be helpful to you if you attend some meetings. You can find a group near you by going to www.adultchildren.org.

DEAR ABBY: I found out a few months ago that my husband, "Hal," the father of my children, has had affairs with five different women. I left, and we are now being divorced.

I desperately wanted revenge, so I have been secretly seeing Hal's good friend "Ron," whom he "forbade" me from contacting after I told him his infidelity and disrespect gave me permission to act on the attraction I had for Ron. It's just a friends-with-benefits situation and I am having fun, so I don't really consider it to be revenge.

Hal has spent the last five months begging me to forgive him and work on our marriage, but I no longer love him and I certainly don't trust him. I told him I would "work on" forgiving him, so now he calls, says he still loves me and flirts.

The last woman Hal cheated on me with is his current girlfriend. He told me that if I ever want to hook up, I should make sure to use code words when leaving messages because she might see my calls and text messages. He also told me that he is not interested in a long­term relationship with her.

I slept with Hal recently to have leverage. I was contemplating sending her the proof as payback for how she treated me some months back, although I don't want her boyfriend back. I am now questioning if this is the right thing to do. Should I just leave it alone? -- PAYBACK SOMEWHERE IN THE USA

DEAR PAYBACK: Yes, do it for everyone's sake -- including your own. This cycle of revenge is doing no one any good.

DEAR ABBY: Before we had kids, my wife and I would occasionally go out with groups of friends or to social functions, but it was difficult to get her to go home. She always liked closing the place down, and if we left early I felt like I was dragging her away.

For the first five years after our children were born we didn't get out much. My wife is now starting to go out with friends from work -- a mixed group of single and married guys and gals. She has invited me to come along, but sitters are expensive and I'm not friendly with her co-workers. She stays out with them until 3 to 4 a.m. once a month. I think that's ridiculously late when you have a husband and children at home.

When she's not here, I can't sleep and I worry that something is wrong. She rarely calls to check in unless I ask her to. Overall I trust her, but with her drinking heavily and many single guys around, I don't feel comfortable with the situation. I don't know what to do. -- LONELY DAD IN ARIZONA

DEAR LONELY DAD: I have it on good authority that last call for serving alcohol in Arizona is 2 a.m. Could your wife be drinking so heavily that she needs the time to sober up in order to drive home? If that's the case, she may be a binge drinker, which isn't healthy.

The implications of your letter are serious, so you should sit down with her and have a discussion about the amount she imbibes on her nights out. You shouldn't have to worry about her, so out of respect for your feelings, she should routinely let you know how long she'll be after the bars/clubs close.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a nurse for 35 years, and over time, I have noticed a decline in simple courtesy from people who visit friends or relatives in the hospital. Several things visitors should keep in mind:

1. If you don't know what room the patient has been assigned, ask. Don't wander in and out of rooms until you find the right one.

2. Be prepared to give the first and last names of the patient when asking for directions.

3. Abide by the visiting hours and the number of persons allowed into a patient's room at one time. Remember, patients need dedicated time for treatments and procedures.

4. Do not bring small children to the hospital unless they are visiting their parent or sibling. You needlessly place them at risk by exposing them to infections.

5. Make sure any food you bring to the patient is allowed by the physician.

6. Never question the staff for information regarding the patient's diagnosis or condition. It is against the law for a health care provider to divulge patient information to an unauthorized individual. Ask the patient.

7. Get permission before plugging in your cellphone charger.

8. When taking the elevator, use public elevators. And when the doors open, stand back and allow the occupants to safely step out before entering. -- PATIENT-CENTERED NURSE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NURSE: If readers take to heart your suggestions in the spirit they were given, everyone will benefit. That visitors would charge into hospital elevators, wander the halls, barge into patients' rooms, and drag small children into sickrooms is an indication that there has been not only a decline in courtesy but also common sense.

Patients are in hospitals because they need intensive treatment and REST. Creating a party atmosphere in which the patient is expected to entertain numerous "guests" is physically and emotionally draining and a danger to the person's health.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband, "Charles," is dying, and we have decided to get remarried before he dies so he won't be alone at the end. (And also so I can receive his VA benefits when he's gone.) Is this morally wrong? I do take care of him, but not all the time because Charles likes living with his uncle and will remain there after we marry. I guess I just have a little guilt trip going on. -- GUILT TRIP IN TEXAS

DEAR GUILT TRIP: Charles earned his benefits. I see nothing morally wrong with people providing for someone they care for after their death. Unless Charles was coerced into his generosity, I can't see why you should feel guilty.