DEAR ABBY: I am a widow in my early 50s. While I was dating a prominent OB-GYN, I found out that he's involved in criminal activity -- operating a so-called "pill mill." On our last date he asked me to join an escort service he was starting.

I notified the medical board of the state he's practicing in and various government agencies. It amazes me that he is still practicing. He's doing abortions, which means he has access to vulnerable young women. Knowing this, I have lost trust in our medical establishment. Nothing seems to affect this man's success and practice.

I have given up and am moving far away. What should I do? Have I done everything possible? This is obviously a very difficult situation for me. I am deeply concerned about his patients. I'm getting therapy now for my trust issues because of this experience. Is there anything else I should be doing? -- MS. X, SOMEWHERE IN THE USA

DEAR MS. X: Having notified the proper authorities about this man's activities, you have done everything you can. The only thing left is for you to concentrate on healing yourself, and your therapist can help you with that. I wish you luck in your recovery.

DEAR ABBY: I wrote to you about my 97-year-old mother who was in failing health. My question was how to notify her out-of-state elderly friends with news of her passing when the time came. My idea was to use her address book/Christmas card list for addresses and then print a copy of her obituary with a short message thanking those friends for their letters, cards and support during her life. You sent me back a note that positively reinforced my idea.

My mother passed away earlier this year. I mailed the letters and received a response from almost every single person. Each one thanked me for letting them know the sad news. With your encouragement, I was able to handle this matter with respect and dignity. Thank you so much. -- GAYLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR GAYLE: You're welcome. I occasionally hear from readers asking if people I have advised actually follow my advice. I'm pleased my encouragement worked well for you. Thank you for letting us know.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years and have three wonderful children between us. Now, after a year of living together, we have begun to talk about marriage.

We are happy, but we are introverted people and our main focus at this time is on raising our kids. This has left us with few friendships and only a couple of close family members. If we do decide to get married, I'm worried about how many people we would be able to invite or if there would even be enough people to be in the ceremony itself. Do you have any suggestions for this kind of situation? -- SHY BRIDE IN KANSAS

DEAR SHY BRIDE: Yes, I do. A wedding doesn't have to be big and fancy to be beautiful and meaningful. That's why I suggest you and your boyfriend be married quietly in a ceremony officiated by a justice of the peace or clergyperson of your choice. Ask your relatives and close friends to accompany you while you take your vows and have a small celebration afterward commensurate with your budget.

DEAR ABBY: I am happily married to a great man. I have a young daughter from a previous marriage, and my husband has two teenagers, a boy and girl, from a prior marriage. Like many blended families, we have our struggles, but one is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.

I don't know how to put this tastefully, but I'll state it this way: My stepchildren are "too close," if you know what I mean. They flirt, constantly touch each other and playfully tease each other. (A few people have even mistaken them for a couple.) My husband doesn't seem to notice this unhealthy behavior. How can I get through to my husband or deal with this? -- REPULSED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR REPULSED: Was the relationship between your husband's children making you uncomfortable before you married their father? If so, did you bring it to his attention at that time?

Family relationships can vary, and because I haven't witnessed what you have observed, I can't advise you other than to suggest that family counseling might be in order to determine whether the kids have a normal sibling relationship or if it has gone over the line.

DEAR ABBY: Last spring we helped our daughter's longtime friend move out of the college dorm room she shared with our daughter. Her parents are divorced and weren't available to help her move or give us money to help her, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend.

We rented a van and offered to let her stay at our home as long as she helped pay for groceries and got a job. She got the job, but never helped pay for food or did anything around the house, including keeping her room clean.

After two weeks, she and her boyfriend got back together, and she was spending every night with him at his parents' house. She would return to our home to eat, wash clothes, shower and use the Internet. I finally had to tell her this was not acceptable, and that she needed to decide to either live here or move in with her boyfriend. She moved out.

Now, it is uncomfortable when she comes around. I don't feel I did anything wrong, but my daughter thinks I shouldn't have made a big deal out of her sleeping at her boyfriend's house and using our house as a place to park her stuff, eat and wash her clothes. What do you think? -- NO TIME FOR FREELOADERS

DEAR NO TIME: You were generous to be as supportive as you were of your daughter's former roommate. This has nothing to do with her sleeping at her boyfriend's. You asked only that she behave like an adult and contribute by paying for her food and keeping her room clean. She didn't keep her part of the bargain. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable; she should, for not behaving responsibly.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose 11-year-old grandson stays overnight with her sometimes on the weekends. She has only one bedroom, and I'm concerned because he still sleeps with her in the same bed.

I have mentioned it to her many times, and she says there is nothing wrong with it. I even purchased a nice air mattress, very easy to inflate, which she accepted but doesn't use. I'm upset by this situation. I know she sometimes sleeps in revealing night clothes, although I don't know if she does when her grandson is there.

I find this sick and twisted. I am counting on you to set my friend straight and save this young boy from future turmoil. -- PROTECTIVE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR PROTECTIVE: There is an old French saying that approximately translates, "Evil be he who thinks evil of it." I see nothing sick or twisted about a boy who occasionally stays with his grandma and shares her bed, particularly if that's the way it has always been.

When he grows so big that the bed becomes too crowded for his comfort, I'm sure he'll let Granny know. Ultimately, the boy's parents are the ones responsible for his safety. It's likely they know about and approve of the sleeping arrangements.

DEAR ABBY: With online dating becoming popular with older people, I have a question.

Most of us who were married for a number of years and had a good mate learned a lot about how to make life exciting and are experienced about sex. When we meet someone online and start to become involved, how and when would it be the right time to bring up the subject of sex?

For those of us in our later years, sex is usually different than when we were 35. Then there's the subject of STDs. Can we bring that up? In rural and small towns, older women, unlike younger women, are shy about talking about sex. When we start to get serious with someone, shouldn't we find out what they are willing to do and what they won't? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Your letter will be of interest to anyone who has been out of the dating scene for a long time. The subject of sex should be addressed once you are comfortable with a person and there is a mutual attraction. Both people's sexual histories should be talked about before you "do the deed." (If you can't talk about it, then you shouldn't do it.) When it does happen, insist that protection is used.

Too often people assume that because there's snow on the roof that there isn't fire in the furnace. News flash: Older folks can and do have active sex lives. So if you're going to "play," be prudent. Some seniors have been shocked to learn they were infected with an STD because they assumed their partner was safe.