DEAR ABBY: I'm retiring at the end of this year after 50 years of full-time employment and I'm very excited about it. Looking back over my life, I see there have been several life-changing events ... marriage, the births of our children, buying a home and, now, retirement.

My wife gets irritated every time I say (about twice a week), "When I retire." I'm looking forward to all sorts of activities that I'll have time for. Why can't she be excited too? She makes snide remarks like, "Well, when you retire, you won't have anything to say." The implication is that all I talk about is my retirement, which isn't true. And if it were true, it's a big deal to me. What should I say to my wife? -- EXCITED IN MARYLAND

DEAR EXCITED: You might start by asking why her reaction is to rain on your parade about something you're clearly looking forward to. She may be worried about how her life will change once you retire, or she may be a tad jealous. But you won't know until you have a frank conversation with her that isn't passive aggressive or tinged with sarcasm.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a woman, "Wendy," for more than a year. She has one child, whose father isn't in the boy's life, so I fill the role of his daddy. We are now expecting a child together.

Wendy had a bad experience with her ex not wanting anything to do with his child. She also has a friend who has had kids with different men who ended up not treating them the same. Lately, Wendy has been pushing me away and trying to get me to leave. I have no plans to leave and I don't want to.

My question is, how do I make her understand that I'm not the same as the other men, and I want to be there for both children? -- MAN IN A TOUGH SPOT

DEAR MAN: A marriage proposal and joint premarital counseling might go a long way in helping your girlfriend understand that you aren't planning to disappear in a puff of smoke. It might also give you more insight into why she wants to push you away, just in case it's because she isn't as serious about you as you are about her.

DEAR ABBY: After the long winters in Minnesota, we look forward to summer to open our windows and enjoy the fresh air. However, we are unable to do that because of wind chimes. Apparently, wind chime owners don't understand (or care) that the noise carries throughout the whole block, especially on windy nights. PLEASE, folks! Take down your chimes and hang up something quiet instead. -- MIFFED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MIFFED: If your solution to this problem is writing to me hoping your neighbors see your letter, please allow me to offer a better one. Bake a batch of cookies (or another confection), and take it to these neighbors. When you hand your gift to them, explain that their wind chimes are driving you and some of the other neighbors to distraction. Then ask if they would please be kind enough to take them down and suggest that perhaps they hang a basket of flowers in their place.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my husband was asked to be the best man at his friend's wedding. The happy couple did not have the financial means to hire a photographer, so I was asked to take pictures of the ceremony and reception.

I'm not a professional photographer, and the bride knows that. I gladly photographed the nuptials on the couple's big day. Of course, I charged them nothing for doing it.

I am now on the receiving end of insulting comments regarding the photos I took. When the bride rudely voiced her displeasure, I was taken aback. I did nothing less than my very best to accommodate her, and I have received nothing but ingratitude and disrespect for my efforts.

I believe in keeping commitments I have made. I intend to complete the edits of the original photos and create a wedding album as I promised. However, how do I tactfully address the situation with the bride if she "reminds" me again of my lack of professional photography skills? -- SAD NEWBIE PHOTOGRAPHER

DEAR PHOTOGRAPHER: Alas, it seems that no good deed goes unpunished. The next time the bride "reminds" you, all you have to do is "suggest" that for the next happy occasion she spend some money and hire a professional instead of hitting up a friend for a freebie and then complaining about the result.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Riley," who is the sweetest woman I know. She's in her mid-20s and has a stable job, but I'm afraid she is setting herself up. She rescues animals that are terminal or nearly so. She's great with them and should become a veterinarian. A few she has brought back to health, but others just can't be saved.

My concern is that when Riley loses one, she breaks down. She cries for hours on end, but the minute she gets a call, she willingly takes in another one.

She's like a sister to me, and I respect and admire her determination to care for these creatures and give them love when no one else will. How can I nicely say to her that I think she shouldn't accept any more rescues because she will only continue to get more depressed? -- CONCERNED FRIEND IN GEORGIA

DEAR CONCERNED: There is no nice way to say that to your friend. What you can say is that you are concerned about her because of the depression she experiences when she can't save one of her animals. For an animal lover, the loss of a pet is painful and personal, and her reaction isn't unusual.

DEAR ABBY: I am hoping you can clear this up. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I had some of his family members over for a visit. It was very casual, as usual, more like a Sunday afternoon drop-in. I came out of our room barefoot, because I usually walk around that way in the house. I was scolded by his grandmother and told I was rude to walk around barefoot when there is company. Was she right? -- BAREFOOT CONTESSA

DEAR BAREFOOT: No. She was out of line to criticize you. If people choose to go shoeless in their own home, it's really nobody else's business.

DEAR ABBY: I had a close friend from middle school into adulthood. (I'll call her Lacey.) We were each other's maids of honor and best friends for years. A few years ago we had a falling out. She was going through a tough time and lashed out at me. When I tried to have a conversation with her to tell her I didn't like how she was treating me, she told me to "have a nice life."

Shortly after that, my youngest sister struck up a friendship with her and insisted that my parents invite her for Thanksgiving dinner. I told my mother I wasn't comfortable with Lacey joining our family dinner, but Mother said it would be rude to not invite her.

I no longer join my family for holiday dinners. Is it wrong of me to not want my family to be so friendly with someone who was unkind to me? It seems odd to me that my former friend would pursue relationships with my sisters and parents, and odder still that my parents and sisters would encourage it. Is there a positive and constructive way to address this situation? -- DISCOUNTED AND EXCLUDED IN NEVADA

DEAR DISCOUNTED: It seems odd to me, too, that your parents would continue including Lacey at holiday dinners knowing how uncomfortable it would make you. Of course, you can't dictate whom your sister(s) can be friendly with, but you should explain to your parents how her inclusion has made you feel, so they'll understand why you are absent.

When Lacey advised you to "have a nice life," I hope you took her up on it and have made other friends. I also hope you don't sit around alone when the holidays roll around. Sometimes the most rewarding and loving experiences and relationships we have are with the "families" we build for ourselves.

DEAR ABBY: I was taught that punctuality is important. My husband and I are almost always at least a few minutes early for everything we do. I realize not everyone can be -- or wants to be -- early. However, it seems that almost everyone we know is late. Sometimes it's five minutes, others it's 20 to 30 minutes. And it's not just people we know. I was kept waiting for 25 minutes by someone who was buying an item from me.

Why do people think this is OK? I was taught that it's rude to keep someone waiting for you. What are your thoughts on punctuality?

P.S. I'm not talking about running late once in a while. I'm talking about people who are consistently late everywhere they go. -- AMBER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR AMBER: I was raised the same way you were. My parents impressed upon me that it is disrespectful to keep people waiting, and that if a delay is unavoidable, the person who's expecting me should be informed that I will be late. I'm not implying that someone must make an appearance at the stroke of the hour -- a delay of 10 or 15 minutes is understandable. But to keep someone waiting longer than that is rude, disrespectful and bad manners.