DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and confused. My boyfriend, "Ethan," and I broke up five months ago, but we recently got back together. The problem is, he hides the fact that we're together. I'm not allowed to put anything on Facebook or even comment or "like" anything on his page. He hardly even talks to me or comes to see me, and when we do talk or see each other, we end up in a fight. We used to be great together, but things are no longer the way they were.

Ethan insists he's not cheating on me, but it's hard to believe him, because when we got back together he had been talking to a girl who lives a few miles away from him. I don't want to end our relationship. Ethan says he loves me and doesn't want to leave me, but I don't know what to think anymore. Any advice? -- DRIFTING IN OHIO

DEAR DRIFTING: Yes. Wake up, honey. The relationship you cherished with Ethan is over. A man who is in love with a woman sees and talks with her often, and doesn't hide her from the world or get into a fight with her every time he sees her. That he would forbid you to mention that you are back together on Facebook and refuse to permit you to comment on his posts is a huge red flag.

You asked my advice, and here it is: Take a giant step backward and see Ethan for who he is -- a person who doesn't tell the truth and is very likely a cheater. If he was sincere, he'd be telling the world the happy news about your reunion.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl and a junior in high school. I love my best friend and we are very close with each other. How do we maintain a strong friendship when we go to college? We are planning on going to different colleges, possibly in different states. We don't want to lose what we have right now. -- GOOD FRIEND ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR GOOD FRIEND: Do it the way everyone else does -- through instant messaging and social media. But understand that both of you will have new responsibilities that will occupy your time, and you will be meeting new people and forming additional relationships. It doesn't have to have a negative impact on your close friendship if you both approach it with the right attitude. College is a time for growth and expansion. When you see each other during vacations from school, you can share that with each other.

DEAR ABBY: While driving with my son when he was in fifth or sixth grade, I spotted a bumper sticker on the car ahead of us at a stoplight. It had the "My child is an honor student" message with his school's name on it. I said to him, in a not-too-subtle hint about his grades, "I'd like to have a bumper sticker like that to put on my car, too."

I realized he was developing a wicked sense of humor when he replied, "I'll see if I can steal you one." It's one of my favorite memories. -- OH, THE MEMORIES IN LA GRANGE, N.C.

DEAR MEMORIES: Funny! And what has he become? A lawyer, a politician or a comedian?

DEAR ABBY: Last week, I had a seizure in front of my fourth-grade students. This has never happened to me before, so I had never spoken to my students about such a thing. I want to write them and their families a letter expressing my apologies, thanking them for their kind thoughts and giving basic advice on how to handle a seizure. Is this appropriate? If so, how do I start the letter? -- APPROPRIATE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR APPROPRIATE: Before writing the letter, check with the principal of your school. Because you now know that you are prone to having seizures, I think it makes sense that your students should know what one is, and what to do in case it happens again in the classroom. Some seizures can be almost unnoticeable, while others can be quite severe. If yours are severe, a student should immediately inform another adult and ask for help.

P.S. While you may want to thank everyone for their kindness, it should not be necessary to apologize to anybody for something you couldn't control.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has always been very independent. She had a normal childhood with the usual friends and events, nothing traumatic that I know of. She is a pretty girl with a funny personality and is very bright.

The issue is, she is 18 and has been on only two dates. She shows no interest in forming any sort of romantic relationship. She has never had a boyfriend, though many boys have expressed interest in her. The two dates she did go on, one in high school and one in college, she called "duds."

She says she's not gay, and has commented on good-looking guys. I don't know what to think. Do you? -- WONDERING MOM

DEAR WONDERING MOM: You say your daughter has always been independent. It's possible she has enough self-assurance that she doesn't think she needs a man in her life right now. It may also be that before becoming emotionally involved with anyone she would prefer to focus on her education or career path. Whatever her reasons, you would be making a mistake to push her in any direction she doesn't feel ready for, or make her uncomfortable about being the way she is.

DEAR ABBY: Mom passed away five years ago, and Dad died four months ago. For the last years of his life Dad was hoping we'd move into their home. It's a beautiful place in a country setting with lots of trees, including pecan trees. We were undecided.

After Dad died, my husband and I were at home making all the funeral arrangements and we were both emotionally exhausted. While I tried to stay busy inside the house, my husband decided to go outside to clear his head. While walking around the yard, he found a pecan in the grass! Abby, there are no pecan trees in this entire neighborhood. We knew the rational answer was that a squirrel must have dropped it, but in our hearts we felt it was Dad giving us the hug we needed so badly, and his way of telling us that everything will work out.

We will be moving into my parents' home in the near future. -- AT PEACE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR AT PEACE: There's nothing nutty about your experience. Sometimes we just need a nudge from above to guide us into doing what's right for us. I wish you well in your new home.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a great relationship with a wonderful man, "Kevin." He loves me very much and we get along well. I have three kids -- two with special needs -- and Kevin loves them and treats them like his own. He also has a son, age 6, who has cystic fibrosis.

I love Kevin and can see myself marrying him. The problem is, I don't think I like his son. He's a good kid, cute and funny, but I don't feel "love" for him. I'm affectionate with my own kids, but I have to force myself to be with this boy. I am easily irritated by him and sometimes just don't want to be bothered.

I know this sounds terrible, but I don't know what I should do. I don't want to end my relationship with Kevin because I'm so in love. But is it fair to stay with him if I don't love his son, too? -- IN CONFLICT IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR IN CONFLICT: Frankly, it depends upon whether you can learn to love the boy. You say you don't like him. Why not? Is the reason valid? Is he mean, dishonest, spoiled or too needy? Or could it be that he's a living reminder that your boyfriend once loved another woman?

If your relationship is to work, you may need an attitude adjustment. Can you focus on the positive qualities the boy has? That would be a good first step. If not, then for everyone's sake, end the relationship now.

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 and my mom is part of a church group (Unitarian). She recently told me she is taking me to her church where they are making pies for the homeless. Even though this is a nice act, I don't want to be a part of it (mainly because I am very shy around new people).

When I told my mom, she said she thought I was being rude and inconsiderate, and that she would make me come and ground me if I didn't go. Is there any way I can explain it to her better? -- SHY KID

DEAR SHY KID: If you have already told your mother the reason is your shyness, then I can't think of a way to state it more clearly. She may feel that your help in the project is urgently needed, which is why she's insisting. Or, she may feel that it might help you to overcome your shyness. Sometimes when people work together for a worthy cause they forget about themselves and their insecurities. I hope you will give it a try -- if only so you won't be grounded.

DEAR ABBY: Our waitress in a mid-level chain restaurant was friendly and helpful, but her tongue was pierced with a stud. It impaired her speech, making her hard to understand and it was visible every time she spoke.

We are pretty liberal about most things, but it was difficult for us to enjoy our meal. Would it have been OK for us to ask for a different waitress? -- PUT OFF IN TENNESSEE

DEAR PUT OFF: Yes. If you preferred that another server help you, it was within your rights to ask for one or ask to be moved to a table in another section of the restaurant.