DEAR ABBY: You mentioned in a recent column that few people write to follow up on what happened since their original letter was published. You printed mine April 1, 2001.

I am "Hurting in Houston," the son who, with his partner, was suddenly no longer welcome in his parents' home after they moved to a retirement community, because they were afraid their neighbors would shun them if they discovered they had a gay son. You advised that I should live my own life and, maybe, someday they would come around -- and that is what I did.

After a number of years, I received a call from a sibling informing me that my father was ill with only a short time left, and I should fly to their city to see him. I asked if I was wanted, and he said, "It doesn't matter, just come!" So I swallowed my pride, flew there and made my way to the hospice house.

Although my mother received me well, Dad did not, and we never had a good moment before he died a few days later. I told my mother I was staying for the funeral whether she liked it or not and had my partner fly in.

After the service there was a gathering at my mother's house with all their friends. I introduced my partner to them and everyone was as kind as could be. Many mentioned their own gay siblings or relatives.

When the event was over, my mother said, "Wow, this has all been pretty silly, hasn't it?" It was such a colossal understatement that I could not find words to respond.

Ten years have passed; my mother is now in hospice care with only a short time left. We have built a great relationship, and she loves my partner of more than 20 years very much. We are glad to be able to be there for her.

Much has changed in the world over these years and the acceptance of gays has been remarkable, but for me, having these last years with my mother's love will be a comfort I can hold onto for the rest of my life.

I have no great moral here, I just wanted to let you know what has happened. Thank you, Abby. -- NO LONGER "HURTING IN HOUSTON"

DEAR NO LONGER HURTING: And thank you for letting me and my readers know your story has a happy ending. I couldn't be more pleased to know you are doing well.

In case you didn't see it, there was a follow-up column regarding your letter that was published May 24, 2001, in which a family in California offered to adopt you and your partner! PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) was mentioned in that follow-up and is still an excellent resource for building bridges of understanding in families. Find it at pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I am the caregiver for my husband, who is in a wheelchair and has to be helped when using the bathroom. When we are out in public and he needs a bathroom, should I use the handicapped stall in the men's or take him into the women's? Unisex restrooms -- one big room that can be locked -- are wonderful. -- CAREGIVER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CAREGIVER: I agree, but not all buildings and businesses provide unisex restrooms. If none is available, then the rule of thumb is the disabled person should use the restroom of his/her gender -- in your case, the men's room.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced three years ago and have had a boyfriend, "Roger," for a year and a half. He is seven years younger, and he's intrigued with women on the Internet.

He saves tons of photos of these girls on his cellphone. These ladies are "perfect." They have big breasts and curvaceous behinds, etc. I have had two kids. I'm not overweight and I exercise and keep myself in shape, but I have a "Mom body."

Roger has told me he loves my body and everything about me. But the feeling I get is that he wishes I looked like those girls.

I have asked Roger not to save these photos because it makes me insecure. If he's going to look, fine. But saving them is another thing. He promised me he wouldn't, but some of them are still there. So he not only makes me feel like a fatty, but he lies to me, too. He has more pictures of other girls than he does of me.

Now I no longer feel comfortable undressing in front of him. I leave my clothes half-on and turn out the lights when we have sex. He has made me unable to stand myself. What do I do? -- CAN'T COMPARE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAN'T COMPARE: The first thing to do would be to stop looking at your boyfriend's cellphone. Then ask yourself whether he has been seeing other women or just collecting pictures. If it's the former, you have something to worry about. If it's the latter, it's no reflection on you, and he has voyeuristic tendencies (men are visual).

Stop making comparisons. He says he loves your body. Unless you have a solid reason to think differently, believe him.

You are overdue for a frank talk with Roger, and when you do, tell him everything you have written to me. Your problem may go deeper than his photo gallery and your lowered self-image. If you can't trust what he tells you, the foundation of your relationship isn't solid.

DEAR ABBY: I'm carrying a heavy burden concerning my 14-year-old grandson. He told me in strictest confidence that he had sex with a 14-year-old girl. I have been his male support system, mentor, adviser, disciplinarian and friend for 12 years because his father is rarely in the picture.

He swore me to secrecy, which I want to respect, but I'm torn about telling my daughter. She has a right to know that her son is sexually active and needs closer supervision. We discussed condoms (they used them), accidental pregnancy, possible criminal charges and responsibility, but I think he is more proud than alert to the possible consequences.

If I share this with my daughter, I break a long-held trust. When I urged him to tell his mother, he refused. What do I do? This is tearing me up. -- KANSAS GRANDPA

DEAR GRANDPA: Without betraying the confidence, start talking to your daughter about how, at 14, her son is fast becoming a man with all that it entails, including raging hormones. Then suggest she have some frank talks with the boy and keep a closer eye on him, unless she wants to become a grandma before he's out of high school.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

DEAR ABBY: Since the moment my oldest son, "Ryan," enlisted in the U.S. Army, our family has been concerned he would be deployed. Although Ryan graduated from high school near the top of his class and had prepared for university, his plans were thwarted when deployment orders came to face off with ISIS in a combat engineer role. He leaves soon for the Middle East.

Abby, I need your insight in understanding why I am not falling apart. My other children are, my relatives are, and people I speak to are stunned that I'm holding it together. I try to explain that I support my son and must be strong for my family, but am I in denial? Everyone else is falling apart while I, who adore him and can't envision a life without him, seem to be holding steady.

What's going on with me? Am I a flawed mother? I feel like I'm disappointing others who would prefer to see a soldier's mother grieve and agonize over her son's departure, anticipating the worst. Your thoughts are most welcome. -- BAFFLED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BAFFLED: You are not "flawed." Not everyone handles emotionally charged situations in the same way. While you may be numb with shock, you may also be calm, stoic and not show your feelings openly. It's also possible that you may be "postponing" any negative emotions until if and when it's necessary to experience them. My reaction is that no one should judge you -- least of all yourself right now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the father of a beautiful, intelligent 9-year-old daughter I'll call Stella. About three years ago, her mother married a man from an affluent family and moved three hours away. In order to be closer to Stella, I moved there as well.

I have been divorced for six years now, and my relationship with my daughter has not improved during that time. I spend every Thursday afternoon with her and every other weekend. She recently joined a basketball team, and I go to her practices and games.

My biggest concern -- and pain -- is, whenever Stella is with me she cries for her mother. It hurts, because I have tried hard to foster a relationship with my daughter and have been unable to. I took her to Disney World and she spent half the time crying. I ask myself if I am only hurting her or if I should continue to see her. Can you give me some advice? -- DISAPPOINTED DADDY IN TEXAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED DADDY: Have you talked to Stella's mother and asked her what's going on with your daughter? By age 9 she's a little old for separation anxiety. Not knowing everyone involved, my first reaction is to wonder if there has been parental alienation happening.

My second is to suggest that you enlist the help of a licensed family therapist to find out why Stella acts this way every time she's alone with you. If the problem is that she is immature, ride things out. If it's something more, then it's important you get to the bottom of it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)