DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old man in a relationship with a woman who is 42. She says I need to trade in my briefs for boxer shorts because they are outdated and "nobody wears those" anymore. She also told me only 9-year-old boys wear tighty whities and they are a turn-off.

I have always worn fly-front briefs. I don't like boxers because I find them uncomfortable. What can I do to fix this problem? She will not look at it from my perspective. -- LIKES IT BRIEF IN FLORIDA

DEAR LIKES IT BRIEF: Really? If you allow this woman to dictate what kind of underwear you wear now, she'll be wearing the pants during your entire relationship if you stay with her. Tell her once and for all that if wearing boxers is so important to her, she should buy herself a pair.

DEAR ABBY: I think my sister "Gladys" is a lesbian. And I don't know how to approach her to ask.

I think she's a lesbian because at 44 she has never been married. She hasn't even had a boyfriend since 1998. She still lives with our parents and acts like she's daddy's little girl. She does everything with Dad, and Mom usually stays home.

My sister is an RN and has only one friend from the hospital where she works. Of course, that friend is a woman. How can I ask my sister if she prefers women and why she is still alone at her age? -- BIG BROTHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BIG BROTHER: I would caution you against doing that. If you and your sister were close and she was gay, she would have said something to you by now. Not all women meet the right man, and not all women these days want to be married. It does not mean they are lesbians.

Your sister is gainfully employed, so the fact that she lives with your parents does not mean she's financially exploiting them. That you would call her "daddy's little girl" is pejorative and implies that you're jealous of the relationship she has with your father, which is why I think you should MYOB.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to an event and sent back an RSVP. Two days before the event, I caught a cold. Because I had already accepted, I decided to go. When I arrived, I saw several people I knew. Each of them tried to hug me, but I told them I had a cold and thought it best not to get too close. All but one recoiled and turned away from me.

I sat at a separate table so as not to infect anyone. Although I thought I had done the right thing, I felt like I was being treated like a leper. Should I have stayed home, mentioned my cold or just behaved like "business as usual"? -- "TYPHOID TINA" IN FLORIDA

DEAR "TYPHOID TINA": When you realized that you had come down with a cold and might be contagious, you should have immediately contacted your host, declined the invitation and explained that you didn't want to risk spreading it. That's the considerate way to handle it, and it would have been appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school and will graduate in the first semester of my senior year. Someday I would like to be a stay-at-home mom. I have no interest in going to college. I feel it would be a waste of money for me to go when I don't intend to use my degree.

To say my parents are disappointed in me over this is putting it mildly. They have a life planned for me that includes college. I would also like to move away to somewhere where it's warm year-round, and they don't like that idea either.

How do I make them understand that this is my life and everything will be OK? -- UNINTERESTED IN IDAHO

DEAR UNINTERESTED: I'll paraphrase an old proverb: "When man makes plans, God laughs." What it means in your case is that a smart cookie stays flexible.

Let's say, for instance, that you get the life you fantasize about: You marry a man who adores you, doesn't mind that you have only a high school degree and is wealthy enough to support you. You have two or three beautiful children together and things are going great.

But what if, heaven forbid, he becomes seriously ill and can't work -- or worse, drops dead, leaving you the sole support of those kids? It has been known to happen. (And then, of course, there's also the possibility of divorce, which has been known to happen, too.)

Be smart. Listen to your parents, and arm yourself with the best education you can possibly attain because the reality is, one day you may need to use it.

DEAR ABBY: The school year has started and many high school girls like me are faced with a similar problem: how to politely decline when a boy asks you to a dance.

Whether it be homecoming, winter formal or prom, some boys go all out and ask girls in elaborate and creative ways. I don't know what to do in these situations if I don't want to go with the boy who is asking me. I feel bad saying "no" because of all the work they put into it, and also sometimes there is an audience watching. Should I just go anyway? -- SARATOGA TEEN

DEAR SARATOGA TEEN: If "many" girls share your problem, it's news to me. Most of the ones I hear from worry that they won't be asked.

If the young man has made a production out of inviting you, say thank you and that you're flattered, but you'll have to think about it and will get back to him later. When you refuse the invitation, it should be done privately so you won't embarrass the boy.

P.S. That said, keep this in mind -- sometimes, a girl ends up having a good time with the person she least expected to.

DEAR ABBY: I frequently receive requests via Facebook and other social media sites asking for prayers for people who are ill or suffering a loss. I'm not a religious person, but I would like to acknowledge their pain and extend my sympathy. Any suggestions? -- CHALLENGED IN TUCSON

DEAR CHALLENGED: That you are not a religious person doesn't mean that you're not a caring and sensitive one. When you receive news that someone you know is going through a rough patch, respond by saying you are sorry for his or her pain, and that he or she is in your thoughts.

DEAR ABBY: Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I would like to share some advice with your readers from someone who has volunteered in shelters for many years.

1. Please do not volunteer on Thanksgiving. It's the day most people volunteer, and there are always more volunteers than homeless people.

2. If you want to make donations, please drop them off a few days before or a few days after. It will allow the shelter time to store all the donations and to take an inventory of what is still needed.

3. Shelters need not only food, but also paper goods such as plates, napkins, toilet paper and plastic utensils.

4. Because refrigerator space is limited, don't bring anything that must be refrigerated.

5. Most shelters pay rent, water, electric and telephone bills and lease office equipment, etc. A check or cash donation is ideal. It's also tax deductible.

If in doubt, call ahead (at least a week in advance) and ask what is needed. -- YEAR-ROUND VOLUNTEER

DEAR VOLUNTEER: Kudos to you for so generously giving your time to help others who are in need. I'm sure my readers will appreciate your insight. Planning ahead and knowing what is needed make perfect sense.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law were married last year at a courthouse. They are now planning a "real" wedding. Our daughter-in-law thinks we should pay for the rehearsal dinner, and my husband thinks he isn't required to. Please help with this dilemma. Are we expected to pay for a rehearsal dinner since they have been married a year already? -- NEW MOTHER-IN-LAW IN OHIO

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW: Celebrations of this kind are gifts. Regardless of what your daughter-in-law is saying, they are not mandatory. While she may expect you to pay for the dinner, no rule of etiquette requires you to do it. Please tell your husband I said to hang onto his wallet.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing you on behalf of a friend. No matter where her husband is -- at home, at a friend's, walking into a store or walking around town -- he's always dropping his pants to tuck in his shirt. One of these days someone is going to think he's flashing and have him arrested. His wife is afraid it will happen.

My friend has made comments to him about it, but he still continues. Please give me some advice because someone else may have the same problem, and it may save another family from this embarrassment. -- A FRIEND IN ST. PAUL

DEAR FRIEND: Your friend's concerns are legitimate. A man dropping his pants in a public place is, to say the least, attention-getting. If his concern is really that his shirts creep up, suggest that your friend talk to a tailor -- many cleaners have them in their shops -- about how to prevent the problem from happening. During a Minnesota winter, she could save him from catching pneumonia from the bottom up.