DEAR ABBY: I graduated from college, and I'm starting my first full-time job and moving into my first apartment. I bought all the furniture for it, but needed help moving in.

My parents decided to drive five hours to my new home to transport the furniture in a truck they rented -- without consulting me. While I appreciate their help because I would not have been able to lift some of the items on my own, I feel they have overstepped the normal boundaries of parenting an independent 27-year-old daughter. They also decided they would spend the night in my apartment and sleep in my newly purchased bed without asking me.

Am I crazy for thinking my parents are not respecting my space? I don't want to be ungrateful, but I feel violated in some way. This is my first step out into the real world. -- BECOMING INDEPENDENT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BECOMING INDEPENDENT: How exactly did you plan to get the large items of furniture from point A to point B if your parents hadn't stepped up to the plate? They were attempting to help you as they always have, not violate you. Although they were mistaken, they assumed that after a five-hour drive plus doing the heavy lifting, they'd be welcome to stay the night and not have to check into a hotel.

Because that wasn't the case, you should have thanked them for their generosity and told them you had made other arrangements for getting the furniture transported and installed instead of resenting them for it. Your problem isn't pushy parents; it's that you didn't speak up in the first place.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old single mom, career-focused and driven in what I do for my son and me. I want the best for him. He is 3.

I am having a hard time meeting someone who will accept the two of us. Men come up to me all the time at work or when I'm out, but once I mention that I have a small child, it's like they run and hide. If I wait and tell them later, they get upset that I didn't bring it up earlier. I have no idea what to do.

I am ready to settle down and be a "family" with someone. How do I fix this? What should I do? -- LONELY IN SUGAR LAND, TEXAS

DEAR LONELY: You're doing nothing wrong, and nothing needs "fixing." A man who approaches you and then runs in the opposite direction when he learns you have a child, isn't interested in the kind of relationship you're looking for. He's looking for fun, not continuity.

So be honest about your situation from the beginning. While the idea of settling down is nice, you need to do it with someone whose priorities align with your own, and the men you have met so far don't qualify.

DEAR ABBY: I had suspicions my dad was cheating on my mom, and when she found a mysterious earring in the house one day, I knew I had to find the proof. I went into his iPad and checked his email/Facebook and IMs and found he apparently has a girlfriend. She works in his office and is also married with a family.

Dad found out I broke into his iPad and confronted me. Instead of apologizing for cheating on my mom, he told me I need to think about what I'm doing because I could be ruining a bunch of lives. He also made sure to tell me that by breaking into his iPad, I had broken the law.

I think I should tell my mom because she doesn't deserve this, but I'm not sure how to tell her. HELP! -- FOUND THE PROOF IN GEORGIA

DEAR FOUND THE PROOF: There is a saying, "The best defense is a good offense." That's the playbook your father is following by trying to make you feel guilty for his transgression.

Because your mother found another woman's jewelry in her home, she may already have a hunch that something is wrong. It is not your job to save anybody's marriage. Tell your mother what you have discovered, because her marriage is threatened and she deserves to know so she can decide how she wants to handle it. Forewarned is forearmed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Evan," and my mother do not get along. It began when our second child was born.

Mom came to help out, and she and Evan engaged in tense conversations concerning politics and religion. I asked them to please not talk about such things with each other, but they didn't listen. Two days after my arrival home with the baby, they had a huge argument and Mom walked out. She has never returned to our home.

Since then, I have never had a holiday with my parents, although I do travel once or twice a year with the kids to see them. Mom and Evan did come to an understanding when our third child was born, but that, too, ended in separation six months later.

I have tried asking them both to apologize or talk with each other, to no avail. I can't control either person, so what suggestions do you have to repair the relationship so I can have family holidays and get-togethers again? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN COLORADO

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: From where I sit, you're not in the middle -- your husband and your mother are on the outs. Much as you might wish differently, the only people who can fix this are the two of them. If they were more mature, they would, in the name of family harmony, agree to disagree.

Until they reorganize their priorities, you have no choice but to create your own family during holidays by getting together and celebrating with friends or other relatives if they are close by.

DEAR ABBY: My dad died in April after a brief illness. Before he passed, my stepmother encouraged him to donate his body to science because she is to be buried with her first husband, and she didn't want the expense of burying Dad.

I went to pick up my father's ashes as she requested. When I got there, she invited me into her bedroom to see that she had made a shrine to her first husband, who had died three years before she and Dad were married. The one photo she had of Dad was 2 inches by 3 inches, and was the one from his memorial invitation.

With a broken heart I made my way to the door. Abby, she was married to my dad for 30 years. He supported her, took care of her, and worked to the age of 75 to keep her happy -- and that was a task!

As I reached the front door, I remembered what I was there for in the first place -- my dad's ashes. They were still in the UPS wrap, in a bench that he kept his shoes and boots in by the door. Seriously, who does that? -- GRIEVING DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

DEAR GRIEVING DAUGHTER: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your father. Unless he spent the entire 30 years of his marriage sharing his bedroom with the shrine to your stepmother's first husband, inviting you in to see it was beyond insensitive on her part. The only bright side I can see to this is that you're now in possession of your beloved father's ashes, and you will probably never have to see her again.

DEAR ABBY: I am the father of an 8-year-old daughter, "Lindsey." She is my world. Her mom and I split when Lindsey was 2. She has remarried. We are all civil, and things are good.

Lindsey is getting to the age in which sleepovers at friends' houses are happening, which is fine because I know a few of them and their parents. I'm worried about the fathers or older brothers of the ones I don't know. How do you ask or tell an 8-year-old about the dangers of pedophiles without scaring her? This is my biggest fear. -- DAD IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DAD: I assume that, as a conscientious parent, you are not sending your little girl off to stay with complete strangers. Make it a point to meet and talk with the parents of the girls who are having the sleepovers. If that's not possible, your ex should do it so you can both be assured that the party will be properly supervised.

You should also make sure your daughter knows that she can talk to you anytime about anything and you will listen, answer her questions and support her.

I assume that Lindsey's mother has already started the dialogue about the facts of life. Talk to your ex about your concerns and ask what she has discussed with Lindsey about boundaries, inappropriate touching and that Lindsey knows she can come to either of you if anyone makes her uncomfortable. The most effective way to protect a child is to ensure that there is open, comfortable communication on any subject.