DEAR ABBY: I had suspicions my dad was cheating on my mom, and when she found a mysterious earring in the house one day, I knew I had to find the proof. I went into his iPad and checked his email/Facebook and IMs and found he apparently has a girlfriend. She works in his office and is also married with a family.

Dad found out I broke into his iPad and confronted me. Instead of apologizing for cheating on my mom, he told me I need to think about what I'm doing because I could be ruining a bunch of lives. He also made sure to tell me that by breaking into his iPad, I had broken the law.

I think I should tell my mom because she doesn't deserve this, but I'm not sure how to tell her. HELP! -- FOUND THE PROOF IN GEORGIA

DEAR FOUND THE PROOF: There is a saying, "The best defense is a good offense." That's the playbook your father is following by trying to make you feel guilty for his transgression.

Because your mother found another woman's jewelry in her home, she may already have a hunch that something is wrong. It is not your job to save anybody's marriage. Tell your mother what you have discovered, because her marriage is threatened and she deserves to know so she can decide how she wants to handle it. Forewarned is forearmed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Evan," and my mother do not get along. It began when our second child was born.

Mom came to help out, and she and Evan engaged in tense conversations concerning politics and religion. I asked them to please not talk about such things with each other, but they didn't listen. Two days after my arrival home with the baby, they had a huge argument and Mom walked out. She has never returned to our home.

Since then, I have never had a holiday with my parents, although I do travel once or twice a year with the kids to see them. Mom and Evan did come to an understanding when our third child was born, but that, too, ended in separation six months later.

I have tried asking them both to apologize or talk with each other, to no avail. I can't control either person, so what suggestions do you have to repair the relationship so I can have family holidays and get-togethers again? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN COLORADO

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: From where I sit, you're not in the middle -- your husband and your mother are on the outs. Much as you might wish differently, the only people who can fix this are the two of them. If they were more mature, they would, in the name of family harmony, agree to disagree.

Until they reorganize their priorities, you have no choice but to create your own family during holidays by getting together and celebrating with friends or other relatives if they are close by.

DEAR ABBY: My dad died in April after a brief illness. Before he passed, my stepmother encouraged him to donate his body to science because she is to be buried with her first husband, and she didn't want the expense of burying Dad.

I went to pick up my father's ashes as she requested. When I got there, she invited me into her bedroom to see that she had made a shrine to her first husband, who had died three years before she and Dad were married. The one photo she had of Dad was 2 inches by 3 inches, and was the one from his memorial invitation.

With a broken heart I made my way to the door. Abby, she was married to my dad for 30 years. He supported her, took care of her, and worked to the age of 75 to keep her happy -- and that was a task!

As I reached the front door, I remembered what I was there for in the first place -- my dad's ashes. They were still in the UPS wrap, in a bench that he kept his shoes and boots in by the door. Seriously, who does that? -- GRIEVING DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

DEAR GRIEVING DAUGHTER: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your father. Unless he spent the entire 30 years of his marriage sharing his bedroom with the shrine to your stepmother's first husband, inviting you in to see it was beyond insensitive on her part. The only bright side I can see to this is that you're now in possession of your beloved father's ashes, and you will probably never have to see her again.

DEAR ABBY: I am the father of an 8-year-old daughter, "Lindsey." She is my world. Her mom and I split when Lindsey was 2. She has remarried. We are all civil, and things are good.

Lindsey is getting to the age in which sleepovers at friends' houses are happening, which is fine because I know a few of them and their parents. I'm worried about the fathers or older brothers of the ones I don't know. How do you ask or tell an 8-year-old about the dangers of pedophiles without scaring her? This is my biggest fear. -- DAD IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DAD: I assume that, as a conscientious parent, you are not sending your little girl off to stay with complete strangers. Make it a point to meet and talk with the parents of the girls who are having the sleepovers. If that's not possible, your ex should do it so you can both be assured that the party will be properly supervised.

You should also make sure your daughter knows that she can talk to you anytime about anything and you will listen, answer her questions and support her.

I assume that Lindsey's mother has already started the dialogue about the facts of life. Talk to your ex about your concerns and ask what she has discussed with Lindsey about boundaries, inappropriate touching and that Lindsey knows she can come to either of you if anyone makes her uncomfortable. The most effective way to protect a child is to ensure that there is open, comfortable communication on any subject.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. When I'm with the high school group of kids at my church, I try to extend myself and talk, but they never reciprocate much. I always have to try to think of something to say and be careful I don't embarrass myself. Especially around guys, I feel awkward and self-conscious.

I feel OK about myself, but I still get nervous. Other girls find things to talk about to each other but not me, and guys never talk to me first, either. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or being too careful.

I'm an only child. I get along pretty well with adults, but I have a hard time with kids. I heard you have a booklet about these issues. If you think it might help me, how can I order it? -- UNPOPULAR IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR UNPOPULAR: Part of your problem may be that you're an only child, which can be isolating. If you spend most of your time with adults, it's understandable that you are less comfortable with people your own age. But don't let it stop you from trying to be friendly. If guys don't speak to you first, they're probably feeling as awkward as you are. To smile and say hello is not being pushy. My booklet "How to Be Popular" is filled with suggestions for polishing social skills. It covers a variety of social situations and is meant for people of all ages. To order, send your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. There are tips for becoming the kind of person other people find interesting, attractive and want to know better. (If parents, teachers and clergy know someone needing help in this regard, it might make an inexpensive gift that could help change the course of that person's life.)

The key to being well-liked by both sexes is: Be kind. Be honest. Be tactful. Don't be afraid to give someone a compliment if you think it's deserved. If you think you're not beautiful (or handsome), be well-groomed, tastefully dressed, conscious of your posture. (People who stand tall and smile project self-confidence.)

If you're not a "brain," try harder. If you are smarter than most, don't be a know-it-all. Ask other people what they think and encourage them to share their opinions. If you're not a good athlete, be a good sport.

Think for yourself, but respect the rules. Be generous with kind words and affectionate gestures, but respect yourself and your family values always. If you think "putting out" will make boys like you, forget it. (It won't work, and later you'll be glad you didn't.) If you need help, ask God. If you don't need anything, thank God!

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old male, and I have no clue how to read women's subtle interest cues, if they ever display any. I'd like to think they have, given that I put in at least two days a week at the gym working with weights.

Since you are a woman, could you please be so kind as to give this man a clue what to look for? It's driving me nuts! -- AVAILABLE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR AVAILABLE: The most obvious clues that a woman finds you attractive are eye contact and a smile. That's your opening to make conversation. The rest is up to you!