DEAR ABBY: As the executive director of the Hearing Loss Association of America, may I suggest that "Mortified at the Dinner Table" (March 2), who wrote about her in-laws' poor hearing even with hearing aids, connect with one of our 200-plus local HLAA chapters at www.hearingloss.org? These member-led groups offer emotional support, camaraderie, communication strategies and techniques for living with hearing loss, both for people who have hearing loss as well as their families and friends. Most chapters also share information about assistive listening devices that link via a telecoil found in most modern hearing aids that could greatly enhance her in-laws' hearing around the dinner table.

"Mortified" might also want to accompany her in-laws to a hearing aid evaluation visit at an audiologist's office to learn more about their particular hearing difficulties. There is more to correcting hearing loss than buying hearing aids. Some users benefit from assistive listening devices or from listening training that can be done at home with a personal computer.

By joining HLAA, "Mortified" can receive Hearing Loss Magazine and get the latest information about hearing loss and how to live well with it. -- ANNA GILMORE HALL

DEAR MS. HALL: Thank you for your letter and the information you generously provided. Any reader with hearing loss should check out the HLAA website for a more detailed description of the services it provides. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Many people who wear hearing aids find noisy environments problematic. As people age, their ability to understand can be difficult even with hearing aids. As a practicing audiologist, I recommend the following to my patients to help make communication easier.

(1) Test hearing annually so hearing aids can be reprogrammed to current hearing levels if necessary.

(2) Follow up with the audiologist for regular hearing aid maintenance and care.

(3) In restaurants, ask to be seated away from high noise level areas; preferential seating may help.

(4) Reserve confidential discussions for another time and location, which would make them easier for people with hearing loss to understand. -- AUDIOLOGIST IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: My 91-year-old mother is hard of hearing. I take her out to dinner once a week.

I don't worry about what people around us are thinking. It doesn't matter what she wants to talk about. I'm just glad she's able to get out and converse with others. The conversations at tables near us are sometimes so obnoxious that I'm GLAD my mother can't hear them.

People are normally very courteous about helping me with her, and many have told me they wished their parents were still alive and able to have dinner with them. -- JUDY IN ARIZONA

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Mortified" was certainly not taking into account the other diners' feelings that this writer was so admirably describing! Everyone around that table paid for -- and deserves -- to have a pleasant dining experience too. This includes not being subjected to others' cellphone conversations, unruly children or excessively loud conversations regardless of their content. -- MARIANNE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: I accepted a request from my brother to watch his cats while he was across the country for a few months. During that time, one of them matured and started marking his territory all over my house. The dilemma was quickly taken care of with a trip to the vet, after permission from my brother.

My brother now insists that because I accepted responsibility for the cats "in every way" in his absence that I shouldn't expect reimbursement for the professional carpet cleaner I rented or the vet bill I paid for neutering the cat.

Am I out of line to expect to be paid back? We have agreed to abide by your response. -- CHRISTINA IN MARYLAND

DEAR CHRISTINA: Tell your brother to start writing the check now. If he'd had to board his cats while he was out of town, it would have cost him a lot more. You were kind to help him out, and he should be ashamed of himself for trying to stiff you. HISSS!

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is in a barbershop quartet. While I appreciate the artistic effort of what she does, listening to it bores me and I don't enjoy it. I feel like I must go to her recitals because she makes a point of inviting my husband and me.

I have an ethical dilemma. Should I be honest with her and say I don't enjoy sitting through two to three hours of a capella songs? Or should I be true to MYSELF and admit I'd rather stay home and catch up on my reading? What would you do, Abby? -- EARACHE IN IDAHO

DEAR EARACHE: I'd try to be tactful. Instead of saying you would rather stay home and catch up on your reading, say instead that you have "different taste in music" than she does, or that you have other plans. If this would make you feel guilty, consider putting in an appearance every once in a while.

DEAR ABBY: My second wife died last year after 39 years of marriage. She had a beautiful, unique sense of humor. Three weeks after her funeral, I was walking our dog on the day that would have been our anniversary. As I bent down to pick up the poop, I spotted a quarter on the ground. It was so tarnished with age I couldn't make out the date. But I remembered your "pennies from heaven" letters, so I picked it up.

I hurried home to clean it to see if it was from the year we were married. I was amazed when I discovered it WAS from the year I was married -- but to my first wife. Like I said, my late wife had a unique sense of humor ... SMILING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SMILING: I'm sorry for your loss. Two things occur to me. The first is that the quarter was your reward for being a responsible dog owner. The second is that your late wife may have been trying to "remind" you that you had a love before her, and you may find another one in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having problems with my boyfriend, "Adam," and I feel stuck. He recently was accepted to graduate school, and we're planning to move there. We haven't lived together before, and I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.

I will be working and paying for everything, and Adam will be just going to school. He thinks this is a fair trade-off because "we won't have to worry about money at all" once he has completed his education.

Abby, I don't think he cares that it's ME going with him. I feel like a space-filler and a meal ticket. How do I go about finding out his true feelings and intentions? He doesn't make me feel special, wanted or important -- ever. I worry this will end badly. I do love him, but I don't want this to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please give me some advice. -- TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE IN INDIANA

DEAR MOVE OR NOT: You do need advice -- and here it is: Your woman's intuition is telling you this isn't right, and that your boyfriend can't be trusted to fulfill his part of the bargain. You should listen to it because that's a poor basis for uprooting yourself and becoming his benefactor.

The person you have described is someone centered solely upon himself and his own needs. A man who doesn't make you feel special, wanted or important would make a very poor husband.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have three daughters in their 20s and 30s. One of them, "Lauryn," is married with four children. She and her husband are behind in their mortgage, student loans, federal, state and property taxes, utilities, etc. Over the past 15 years, we have given them more than $40,000 to help them stay afloat. Things have not improved.

Now that my wife and I are retired, the money we provide is cutting into our retirement savings. For the sake of our grandchildren, we continue to bail Lauryn out hoping their finances will improve. But now we have begun to think our handouts should come at a cost.

We want to tell Lauryn and our son-in-law that the money we've given -- and have continued to give -- will count against their inheritance. It doesn't seem fair that we have given so much to this one daughter and her family and relatively little to her sisters. Do you agree? We'd appreciate your thoughts on this. -- LOVING PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS

DEAR LOVING PARENTS: I do agree. And for that reason, you should discuss this issue with an attorney who specializes in estate planning, wills and trusts. Your other daughters should not suffer because Lauryn and her husband have been perpetually needy. An attorney can guide you, and it will be money well spent.