DEAR ABBY: What can I do about a child I see in an automobile who is hanging out the window when she passes my house? The child is around 4 years old.

Today when I saw the little girl, the only parts of her in the car were her lower legs and feet. Her mother, father and grandmother allow her to do this. It scares me because when I was a child, I fell out of a moving car, and I still have scars on my arms because of it.

I am not close to these neighbors, so can you help me with some advice? -- SCARED FOR HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SCARED FOR HER: Seat belt laws have been enacted to protect children from this kind of ignorance or negligence. Children (and adults) who fall from moving vehicles can die of their injuries, or be crippled for life.

You should report your concerns about this to the police to ensure the little girl's safety. The next time you see her hanging out the car window, immediately call 911. The dispatcher will determine which agency should be notified.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, "Kristy," and I have been divorced for five years and she has since remarried. We have a 15-year-old daughter, "Taryn."

When it's Kristy's birthday, Mother's Day, etc., Taryn looks to me to help out with gifts for her mother. I have asked my daughter if she talks to her stepfather about this, and she says no.

I feel it isn't my duty to do this. It should be the current husband who is assigned this task. I want Taryn to be happy giving her mother a gift, but I am not comfortable with this. Am I thinking right? If so, what should I say to my daughter? -- UNCERTAIN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Explain this to your daughter just as you have written it to me. Taryn isn't a little girl. I presume she has chores to do and earns an allowance. If she wants to give her mother a gift or a card, she should pay for it. But if she wants to spend more money for it than she has, she should ask her stepdad to chip in.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. I find it very hard to be a teenager where I live. It seems most of my friends have boyfriends, but most of my friends have gone very far with their boyfriends. I'm too scared to. I don't feel ready for something like that.

I kind of want a boyfriend, but it's hard to find one because most guys want to go too far. I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff with my mom. I hope you get the chance to answer. -- TEEN OUT WEST

DEAR TEEN: I'm sorry you can't discuss this with your mother because if you did, she could share her experience with you, and that's a valuable asset to have.

I have always advised that when people start dating, they do it in groups, which takes away a lot of the pressure of feeling you have to do anything you don't want to do. If that ever happens to you, you have the right to say "no," "stop!" "I'm not ready for that," etc. Some girls are reluctant to say it loudly and clearly, which is a big mistake. Most men understand that no means no -- but if a girl doesn't state it clearly, they think it's OK to continue. If you follow this advice, your problems will be greatly minimized.

DEAR READERS: If you live in a state that observes daylight saving time, don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour before going to bed tonight. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. You know what that means -- it'll be lighter later and, as a comfort to those of you who are suffering through an extraordinarily harsh winter, spring is on the way!

DEAR ABBY: As a child, I was sexually, physically and mentally abused. As an adult, I suffered several miscarriages and two of my children died as infants. I have two living children, ages 9 and 16. It should be no surprise that I turned to food for comfort; I ate myself to a whopping 420 pounds.

After my marriage ended in a bitter divorce, I decided it was time for a complete makeover. I have lost more than 200 pounds. Because of my weight loss, I have gained better health, more energy, a better outlook on life -- and almost 36 pounds of baggy skin. With this much excess skin, I'm sure you can imagine that I bring a whole new meaning to the word "skinny."

Insurance will not help with skin removal. Burn centers use skin from cadavers, so I can't donate it to a good cause. I view myself as an overcomer of many things. I just need assistance in overcoming this oversized birthday suit. Can you please advise? -- LEFT HANGING IN COLORADO

DEAR LEFT HANGING: I addressed your question to prominent Los Angeles plastic surgeon Joel Aronowitz, who suggests you start calling around to universities that offer plastic surgery residencies. It's possible a resident could perform your surgery under the supervision of an experienced attending physician and you would pay a lower rate for the procedure than you would be charged by a private physician.

He also told me that insurance should pay for the excision of skin in areas where it overlaps with other skin because it could be medically necessary if it causes rashes or infections that are giving you problems. If this is documented by an experienced plastic surgeon, those areas of your body might be covered by your insurance.

Many people finance their plastic surgeries through companies that specialize in this. The doctor's patient coordinator can direct you to one that works with the practice. However, I would advise you to wait until you have lost ALL of the weight you intend to before getting anything done.

DEAR ABBY: About 10 years ago I became involved with a man I later found out was married. It was hard for me, but I ended the relationship and ceased all contact with him because I didn't want to be the cause of a broken family.

Since then, I no longer think of myself as a good person, Abby. I can't forget that I was the "other woman," and I feel horrible about it.

I have tried my best to "keep my nose clean." I returned to college to complete a degree, and I avoid the dating scene. I graduated with good grades, but with all the free time I have now, I realize how lonely I am.

The majority of my friends are married or in long-term relationships. I visit with them less and less because it reminds me of my aching to have a special someone. I'm tired of hating myself and feeling lonely, but I'm afraid I'll mess up again. Do you have any advice? -- MISERABLE IN KILLEEN, TEXAS

DEAR MISERABLE: Yes. Please stop feeling guilty and flogging yourself for what happened. In a sense, you were as much a victim of this cheater as his wife was. Instead, thank your lucky stars that he didn't waste more of your time.

While I understand why you'd question your judgment or have some trust issues, by avoiding all contact with men, you have gone too far. If necessary, talk this through with a religious adviser or a licensed mental health professional. If you do, it will help you more quickly get on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: "Still Alive in San Diego" (Nov. 22) said she reads the obituaries every day and feels somehow disappointed when she doesn't see a name she recognizes. She asked if it was "weird" and you told her yes, that it seemed like a lack of empathy.

I don't agree. What's happening is this woman is lonely and the activity has become the hub of her day. It gives her something -- sadly -- to look forward to and a sense of closeness to her acquaintances when she recognizes their names.

My advice to her would be to find another way to fill the void and not obsess about the obits. Joining a club or taking up a physical activity would allow her to meet people. I'm betting she will feel less of a need to connect to the obituaries if she expands her social circle to include the living. -- BEEN THERE, TOO, IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR BEEN THERE, TOO: Your point is well-stated, and it was echoed by other readers who, like you, read between the lines of "Still Alive's" short letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If the letter-writer is ill, disabled, elderly or has outlived most of her companions, it might explain her "letdown" when no one she knows appears in the obituaries. Seeing a familiar name may bring back memories of better times and make her feel more connected to the outside world. -- JULIE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: An obituary is more than a death announcement. It tells a story. It's often the last memory loved ones have of someone cherished, and it's the deceased's introduction to a sea of strangers.

Obituaries are scrapbooked and prized, and researched for generations by genealogists, historians and relatives looking to complete their family tree. A well-done obituary is the final word on how a person is remembered. -- SANDY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: Some people, whether or not they live and associate with friends and family, feel a certain emptiness in their lives and look for different ways to feel something emotionally. Finding the name of someone they know, especially in an obituary, where some of the person's biography is included, provides the opportunity to feel compassion toward that individual or even feel grateful to still be alive. Not finding a familiar name can seem like a missed opportunity to experience that. -- LOYAL READER, ARLINGTON, VA.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Still Alive" she isn't alone. I have often wondered why I look through the obituaries half-hoping to see someone I know. I suspect it may be similar to how people slow down to view a car wreck. I'm a sympathetic, caring person; I don't consider myself weird or cold-blooded. -- EMPATHIZING IN HONOLULU

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am a daily obit reader. I have lived in this town for more than 50 years, and I know a lot of people here. When I see a name I know, or the name of a family member of a friend, I take the opportunity to send a card to express my condolences.

And, by the way, your column appears on the same page as the obituaries in my local newspaper, and I'd never want to miss a day of Dear Abby! -- BIG FAN IN TUCSON

DEAR BIG FAN: Bless you!