DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son, "Wiley," was playing a game on my cellphone. I stupidly forgot to delete a short video of myself engaged in a sex act with my ex-husband, "Cliff." Wiley didn't confront me or mention it, but given his sudden change in behavior, I'm almost certain he saw it.

The next morning I mentioned it and apologized, hoping we could get past the awkwardness, but Wiley wouldn't admit this is what's bothering him. He acted as if he didn't know what I was talking about. Now he's shutting down. He won't talk to me. He's off in his own world as if I'm a stranger, where a few days before we would laugh, share and trust each other.

I divorced Cliff because he and my son didn't get along, but in the last six months we have been secretly having an affair and we ultimately want to get back together when Wiley is 18. My son doesn't approve of him and he's angry about it.

I'm worried and embarrassed that he saw me doing what I was doing in that few seconds of video, and I don't want to scar him or have him think differently of me. Wiley's father has been no help, and I suspect adds fuel to our son's anger during his weekend visitations. I tried therapy for Wiley -- it didn't help. Do you have any suggestions? -- MORTIFIED IN ARIZONA

DEAR MORTIFIED: I'm printing your letter because, once again, it illustrates the danger of putting videos of a sexual nature on cellphones. I can think of few people of any age who don't prefer to think of themselves as products of immaculate conception, and your son is no exception.

Because Cliff and Wiley's relationship was so poor the three of you couldn't coexist under one roof, discovering that you are once more intimately involved with your ex must have been traumatic and threatening to Wiley. It might reassure him to know that your seeing Cliff does not mean you will be living together anytime soon.

In the meantime, I recommend that you talk with a therapist to help you cope with the changed relationship you now have with your son. It's a shame that Wiley's father has used this unfortunate incident for his own selfish purposes. Divorced couples must remember that they have to love their child more than they hate each other.

DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, I reconnected with "Paul." We were in grade school together and hadn't seen each other for many years. We have been extremely happy and want to spend our remaining years together.

Because of our ages (we're both seniors) and separate families and incomes, we feel marriage is not what we'd like to do. But we would like to move in together.

Would it be ridiculous for us to do that without being married? Will the world condemn us? Will our children understand or ostracize us? How do we handle questions about why we have chosen not to marry? -- IN LOVE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR IN LOVE: Many older couples do what you are considering because being married would negatively affect their retirement income. If your children like Paul -- and his children like you -- I doubt you will be ostracized. Most adult children want their parents to be happy.

If you're worried about how the community will react to your living arrangement, consider talking to a clergyperson about being "married in the eyes of God." As to questions about why you have chosen not to marry, apart from your family, it is nobody's business and you are not obligated to discuss it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 75-year-old man who lives in a gated community. For the last eight months I have been seeing a woman who lives nearby. We are starting to fall in love.

Our problem is her 95-year-old mother, who lives with her. Her mom is pretty healthy and has some money, but she's scared to be left alone. Because of this, my lady and I have difficulty finding private time.

We get out for short periods, but we'd like to go away for a weekend together. If we suggest it, Mom makes a stink and gets nasty with her daughter. We have tried talking with her about it, but she refuses, sulks and won't talk for days.

She's suffering from slight dementia, but gets around OK with a walker. Mom claims she doesn't want or need a "grandma sitter." She wants only her daughter to take care of her and be with her. Any help would be appreciated. -- COURTING TROUBLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR COURTING: If your lady friend wants to have any life of her own, she will have to stiffen her spine and deal with Mama. This includes not allowing her mother's sulking to prevent the two of you from having an occasional weekend together.

She should contact assisted-living facilities in the area and find out if they will accept guests for short stays of only a few days or a week. If the answer is yes, Mama should be offered a choice: Either someone comes to stay with her while you're gone, a friend perhaps, or she will have to stay elsewhere because being alone is not an option.

DEAR ABBY: My brother died earlier this year due to an overdose. His wife and one of my sisters lived with him. They also gave him the drugs that caused his death.

Abby, they are treating Mom, my husband and me like dirt. Mom had no say in the funeral at all. You would think that since she was the mother, the wife would have included her. They have been having parties ever since the funeral and spending the money left and right, while not paying the mortgage on the house.

They have turned my other sister against us, blocked us on social media and cut us off completely. They also turned another part of the family against us. I know it involves drug abuse on the part of all of them. We didn't do anything to them other than bring forth evidence of what they did and confront them.

I have no idea how to trust or to build a relationship with them again if they ever decide to come back into our lives. It's painful to deal with a death, and then more trials on top of that. Any advice? -- BROKENHEARTED IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: I'm sorry for your loss, but please recognize that when relatives are as dysfunctional as yours, it's safer for you, your husband and your mother to move on. And if they do decide to come back into your lives, for the sake of your sanity, run the other way.

DEAR ABBY: Are there any letters or topics you won't touch with a 10-foot pole? -- JUST WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: None come to mind. At one point or another, this column has addressed darn near everything and may have offended almost everyone.

DEAR ABBY: Our nanny, who is 58, was diagnosed with breast cancer just before I delivered baby No. 2. The boys are now 15 months and 4 weeks old.

"Nora" has started chemotherapy after having surgery. I completely understand that she has to attend to her needs right now and focus on her health, but she wanted to continue working without it being an issue. Nora has had to take off several days already in addition to being -- as I expected -- tired and unable to keep up with my active toddler.

I start back to work soon and my job is a demanding one. My husband and I have discussed options and feel it would be best to mandate that Nora take this time off. We will have to make other arrangements for child care, and I can't guarantee Nora's job when she feels better.

She has taken such good care of our first son it kills me to have to let her go, especially while she's dealing with cancer. But I must return to work and do what's best for my kids. Any advice? -- MOMMY OF TWO IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MOMMY: Have a meeting with Nora and explain your concerns. Ask if she knows someone reliable who could watch the children on those days when she is too weak to do so. Or contact a household staffing agency about getting a temporary fill-in. It would be far more humane than firing her.

For Nora's sake, please try it. If my suggestions don't work, revisit letting her go at a later time.

DEAR ABBY: My 61-year-old father was arrested recently for 30 counts of possession of child pornography. He has had a rough past -- he cheated on my mother and has had multiple stints in rehab for alcohol abuse. During my teenage years he verbally abused me. My mother is in denial about the entire situation and the fact that he is facing time in prison for his actions.

Nine months ago, my husband and I were blessed with the birth of our beautiful baby girl. I feel I must protect her from my parents and my father in particular. Some of my family agree with my decision, others disagree because I am my parents' only child. Am I wrong for not wanting my father and possibly my mother any longer in my life? -- TOUGH LOVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR TOUGH LOVE: No. And as for the reaction of your relatives, remember that you can't please everyone, and the well-being of your child must come first.

DEAR ABBY: How do I keep a co-worker from borrowing money from me? I have my paycheck direct-deposited, which means the money is available a day earlier than "Anita's."

She asked me yesterday if I would lend her money for cigarettes, and I told her I didn't have any cash on me. When I went on break to buy lunch with my ATM card, Anita came waltzing over and immediately told the cashier to ring up the cigarettes on my ATM card! She said she'd pay me back more than the amount charged to my card.

In the future, how can I handle this if it happens again? I needed the money for my own use, and now I must wait until next week for her to pay me back. -- BUCK STOPS HERE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR BUCK: One way to handle it would be to be proactive and tell Anita that what she did was rude and you didn't like it. Another would be to inform the cashier that what Anita wanted was not OK with you, and to never do it again. Whichever you decide, don't be afraid of hurting Anita's feelings because she has a hide of steel.