DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two beautiful, hardworking daughters we brought up as loving, respectful parents. Recently, "Kellie," 25, got tattoos covering her right arm, leg and ankle as well as her shoulders. They are visible unless she wears long sleeves and long pants.

This has ruined our relationship because it shows how little she thinks of us as parents, and how disrespectful of our feelings she is to put the tattoos where everyone can see them. She knows we don't like tattoos because we have mentioned it to her and voiced our disappointment when she got the first one on her ankle.

I can't sleep at night or look at my daughter knowing how little she cares about our feelings. I feel it's a slap in the face that she doesn't honor, respect or love us. What do you think? -- BESIDE MYSELF IN FORT WORTH

DEAR BESIDE YOURSELF: I think it is time you toned down the high drama. What's done is done. If you do not appreciate the person your daughter is beneath her skin, you will lose her. And that would be a tragedy!

DEAR ABBY: I have a 20-plus-year high school friend who is fighting ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). I have developed a close relationship with him and his parents. His mom has shared some of his comments with me, but he hasn't shared those thoughts with me himself. The comments are, "I want to die," or, "I want to go home to God."

I think listening and being a supportive friend is what I can do for him, but I'm at a loss as to what to say to his mother. I don't know what advice to give her so she can be supportive in her conversations with her dying son. -- DEEP SORROW IN OHIO

DEAR DEEP SORROW: I agree that listening and being supportive is what you can do best for your friend. When the son raises the subject again with his mother, she should tell him that she loves him and will see that his wishes are carried out, even though losing him will be losing a part of herself.

When you see the mother again, ask if he has an advance directive for medical decisions in place. In it, a person can specify that only palliative care is preferred.

A group that offers guidance in drafting these important documents -- and one to which I contribute -- is Compassion and Choices. The toll-free number is 800-247-7421. If your friend does not have an advance directive, it's important that he make one now.

DEAR ABBY: Our across-the-street neighbors feel they need to mow their lawn three (excessive) times a week. This includes using a weed-eater and two mowers -- a push mower and a large riding mower. Quite often, the husband chooses to mow after 8 p.m. He doesn't work and could do it during the morning hours if he wants it cooler.

The noise is loud and extremely disruptive, and lasts about an hour because he goes over and over the same area. We work and would like to enjoy the few hours we have in the evening and relax. Any ideas? -- TIRED OF THE NOISE IN MONTANA

DEAR TIRED OF THE NOISE: If you're on speaking terms with this neighbor, you should ask him if he would please manicure his lawn at a different time because the noise is disruptive. If he is unwilling to cooperate, check with the city to find out if there are any noise ordinances in place. If there are, you can report the noise as a nuisance.

DEAR ABBY: While I was out of town, my husband, "Miles," ran into his high school girlfriend at a party hosted by good friends of ours. She has been through a bad divorce, and Miles insists his desire to keep in touch with her is merely concern for a dear friend. Until I put a stop to it, he was calling her every night, talking with her for at least an hour at a time. He said there was nothing more to it.

I have now insisted that he call her only once a week and in my presence. He's complying, but it distresses me to hear him enjoy the conversation so much. Miles truly cares about her and she makes him laugh. He says he loves only me and will never leave me. He's a good man and I believe him, but ...

How should I handle this? I don't want to forbid him to talk to her, but I am feeling very insecure. Am I foolish to let their contact continue? We have been married 30 years. -- THREATENED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR THREATENED: Tell your husband you know he loves you, has good morals and would never leave you, but that you feel intimidated by his renewed relationship with his high school sweetheart. Tell him you know he is kindhearted, but for your mental health to please consider winding down these conversations. And it would be a kindness for him to recommend a counselor to his friend to help her resolve her issues.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 27 and the mother of a 6-year-old boy. I kiss him on the mouth and never thought twice about it until today, when my husband told me it's "creepy" that I do it at my son's age.

In my family we have always kissed on the mouth, and I still kiss my mother this way. Is it "weird" or inappropriate? I didn't think so, but now I'm concerned. -- "SMOOCHY" IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR "SMOOCHY": Did you also kiss your father on the mouth? Different families have different customs, and if your husband spent much time around your family he should have noticed that. I don't see anything weird or inappropriate about the way you kiss your child. If your son reaches an age where it makes him uncomfortable, I'm sure he'll let you know.

DEAR ABBY: I work in customer service and have noticed that more than half the people who write in abruptly end their emails with "Please advise."

To me, it seems rude and demanding. I feel that if a question has already been asked, there is no need to follow up with this phrase. What is the proper etiquette for using this phrase? -- OFFENDED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR OFFENDED: There is no rule of etiquette pertaining to the use of the phrase "please advise." Many individuals who write to me for advice end their letters that way. It's not offensive; it simply means the person is asking for a reply.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was a victim of domestic violence. When I asked her why she didn't phone 911 for help, her response was, "They play those 911 calls on the radio all the time." She didn't want her prominent husband's career damaged by adverse publicity.

Today, a group of us discussed the issue over breakfast. Many of the women said that because of the popularity of 911 calls being broadcast on the Internet, radio and TV, they'd be hesitant to phone for help when needed, too.

Abby, someone is going to suffer serious harm out of fear that their call for help will be publicized. Do you know what can be done about this new "drama entertainment"? I wouldn't want my terrified call heard by the public either, so I'd take my chances without calling for help. I just hope I don't wake up dead one day as a result. -- PUBLICITY-SHY IN FLORIDA

DEAR PUBLICITY-SHY: Nothing can be done about "drama entertainment" as long as the public has an appetite for it. The reason for the practice of "if it bleeds, it leads" in the media is that it draws viewers and listeners -- which means advertising revenue.

In the case of domestic violence, calling 911 is the lesser of two evils. Out-of-control abusers have been known to maim and kill the ones they "love." Ask yourself if your friend's husband's career was worth risking her life for. It makes more sense to risk a 911 call being broadcast than to have cameras and TV reporters camped on your lawn while the EMTs or the coroner carry your battered, bloody body out on a gurney.

DEAR ABBY: I'm overweight and have a family history of heart disease and diabetes. An injury to my back severely limits my ability to exercise, so diet is an important part of my health plan.

My problem is people constantly try to get me to eat. I explain my situation, but they still urge me to have "just a taste." If I go to a party and shy away from the buffet, the host feels I'm being rude. Recently, my supervisor at work became insulted because I refused some food she brought to a work meeting.

These people wouldn't be upset if an alcoholic refused a drink, so why are they so hostile to me? (Another thing that upsets me is when somebody dies an early death, these same folks say, "He should have taken better care of himself.") -- UNDER ATTACK IN ARIZONA

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: For many people, food has become something other than fuel for the body. It can symbolize love, caring, acceptance -- and when it is refused it can seem like a personal rejection to the person offering it. (Yes, I know it's crazy.)

Your best defense is to remind your hosts, your supervisor, your co-workers and friends that you have a family history of health problems and are on a doctor-advised restricted diet to manage it. Remind these generous souls that socializing is more about the company than the food, and you are grateful that they understand.

DEAR ABBY: You give so much great advice, I'm wondering if there is a basic principle you abide by in order to help guide you when giving advice. -- CURIOUS READER

DEAR CURIOUS: I hadn't really thought about it, but I suppose it's something like this: Show up for work ready to put forth my best effort. Be honest enough to admit that not everyone agrees with me or that I'm sometimes wrong. Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Don't pull any punches, don't preach and always try to be succinct.