DEAR ABBY: My mother and I were close growing up. However, when I was in college she abandoned the family (my siblings were in high school and elementary school) for her much younger boyfriend.

Since then, our relationship has been strained, particularly since I learned she used to tell her then-husband she was visiting me when she was carrying on her affair. After that, I learned about additional lies she had told me throughout my childhood.

I'm married now and have two young children. Until a year ago we lived in the same city. Mom never came around much because she was preoccupied with finding new boyfriends to support her. She has since moved out of state and stalks me on Facebook, harassing me to get Skype so she can talk to my children.

My mother has never apologized for her actions to anyone and thinks we should just "get over it." Because so much has come out about her, I want to protect my children from being hurt by her the way I was.

I can't tell her outright that I don't want much to do with her for fear it will send her into an "episode," and I don't want my kids caught in the crossfire. If I try to sugar-coat what needs to be said, she won't get it. What should I do? -- FRUSTRATED DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Frankly, you'll save yourself a lot of grief if you just tell your mother you're not getting Skype and the reason why, and let her have her "episode." As a parent, you have every right to insulate your children from anyone you feel might be a negative influence -- and that includes their grandmother.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for more than a year and we are considering marriage. I am 23 and have never been dissatisfied with the way I look.

The other day he told my friend that when we get married and become financially stable, he would pay for a boob job for me. I'm offended, mostly because I don't want one and don't think I need one. Do you think this speaks to his character (or lack thereof)? -- NOT GOING UNDER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR NOT GOING UNDER: No, I think it speaks to the degree he assumes he can control or make choices for you. That he would say something like that to one of your friends without having discussed it with you is rather disconcerting. I don't blame you for being offended.

DEAR ABBY: I operate a small Internet radio station out of my house in Texas. I play music 24/7, except on Saturday nights when I usually do a live talk show. A topic I raise every year coincides with my birthday. I announce to all who are listening that I have designated this day as Mind Your Own Business Day.

On this day, my listeners are reminded that if they disapprove of someone's choice of mate, clothing, religion, favorite music, pets -- and anything else that may be personal and nobody's business -- to keep it to themselves.

Would you be willing to mention this in your column and help me spread the word that while everyone has a right to an opinion, it doesn't mean everyone should be forced to listen to it? Thanks in advance. -- JIM IN TEXAS

DEAR JIM: Not only is your message succinct, your idea has merit. If more people followed your philosophy, it could eliminate a lot of conflicts, not to mention headaches.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 60-year-old grandmother of eight wonderful grandchildren, ranging in age from 2 to 24. My question is about baby-sitting.

I believe my children think we owe them baby-sitting duties. I don't mind baby-sitting once in a while, when I feel like it. But I don't feel like it when the parents want to go out and party, or they tell me at the last minute, "little Susie needs some Grandma time," or they want to go to the gym because they don't want to give up the freedom they had before their children came along.

What are your thoughts on boundaries for this generation of parents-who-want-it-all at the expense of my generation who, back in the day, if a neighbor kid couldn't baby-sit, we just stayed home? I know I should have set some rules at the beginning, but I'm starting to feel resentful of their expectations. -- WANTS SOME FREEDOM, TOO, IN MINNESOTA

DEAR WANTS SOME FREEDOM, TOO: There is truth to the saying that "good fences make good neighbors," and the philosophy applies to many circumstances. Setting clear boundaries makes for healthier relationships. Keep in mind that many grandparents would love to have your "problem." But as you stated, your problem was in not setting ground rules from the beginning.

Because you feel resentful, it's time to have a frank talk with your children and say that as much as the grandkids may "need" Grandma time, Grandma also needs Grandma time. And when you do, be firm -- because unless you stand your ground, nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 62 years old and a widower. My wife passed away in July 2011. It has taken me a while to get over losing her. I realize how much she did for me as I have been learning how to be a house husband without a wife.

My wife told me this was the first house she lived in that had a dishwasher. She was so proud of it! I could never understand why she would wash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. Now I have to do it myself, I understand why. My question is, is there a detergent that will actually clean the dishes?

Also, do you have any cute readers who would like to teach an old man how to clean house? -- FENDING FOR MYSELF

DEAR FENDING: I'm sorry I can't print your name or location because if I did, you might be crushed in the stampede. If you and your late wife were married 20 or 30 years and the dishwasher was already installed in the house when you moved in, it is now practically an antique. Because you have tried several brands of detergent and your dishes aren't getting clean, you probably need a new dishwasher. (And I do not mean a cute, young one.)

DEAR ABBY: I am not happy. No matter what I do, I am filled with emptiness and loneliness every minute of every single day. Being near friends and family lifts my spirits, but only for a little while. Then I am reminded once more of my loneliness and emptiness.

I feel like I am being consumed by misery, and I don't want to feel like this anymore. Please tell me what to do. -- SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS

DEAR SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS: The feelings you describe can be symptoms of chronic depression, which is a treatable illness. That's why I'm urging you to discuss them with a physician. A combination of medication and talk therapy can help you feel better again, so don't put it off.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl who lives with my mother and my mother's boyfriend. This man has changed my world, and not for the better. The one person I ever cared about has practically turned against me.

My mom tried killing herself for this man and chose him over me after she was released from the institution. I have been diagnosed with depression and have also tried to kill myself. I also have a habit of cutting myself. I stopped, but lately I have been wanting to start again. The only thing that has held me back is her threats of committing me to an institution.

She threatened my boyfriend with the police if he ever spoke to me again after we broke up. When I confronted her, she insisted that she was right and someday I'd understand. She has turned into this person I hardly know, and it's because of her boyfriend's influence. Before, when she was upset she would just not talk to me, but now she calls me the most horrid things and won't apologize unless someone besides me tells her.

I feel so alone. I honestly do want to kill myself, but I haven't because I know it isn't the right thing to do, even if it may seem right. I have tried talking to her. She won't listen to me. What should I do? -- HOPELESS AND ALONE IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOPELESS AND ALONE: Because you honestly do want to harm yourself, contact the doctor who diagnosed you with depression. However, if this is about your mother breaking up your romance by threatening to involve the police, you need to understand that the tactic wouldn't have worked unless he had something to fear.

The level of conflict in your home is not healthy. If you are still in school, discuss this with a trusted teacher or school counselor. In one more year you will be 18 and able to make decisions for yourself, but they shouldn't be based on your mother or her boyfriend. They need to be about what is truly best for you.

DEAR ABBY: I hate funerals. My grandfather died when I was 6, and one of my relatives held me over the casket and made me kiss his cold, dead face. It terrified me, and it's all I can remember of my grandfather. I force myself to recall any of the good times we had together, but that event still taints the good memory.

Since then, every funeral I have been to has had the same poisoning effect, no matter what the service was. Funerals are for the living, and I understand that many people feel the need for closure and the sharing of grief to begin healing. But I need to keep my grief and my faith private in order to heal.

I'm sure some people think my not showing up at a service is a sign of disrespect or just not caring. Nothing could be further from the truth. I prefer to remember the good times with the loved one, not the passing. My way of honoring that person is to keep my happy memories untainted.

Am I wrong? Selfish or lazy? Weird or crazy? Please let me know because at my age I'm sure more of these events will happen. -- KEEPING MY DISTANCE IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR KEEPING YOUR DISTANCE: You are none of the above. People grieve in different ways. An appropriate way to express your respect for the deceased and your support for the survivors would be to write a condolence letter expressing those feelings and sharing a happy memory with the grieving widow, widower or child. No rule of etiquette demands that you show up to a funeral -- unless it happens to be your own.