DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl who recently had sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time for both of us. A week and a half later, we had a big fight.
Another problem is I am having a lot of feelings for his best friend, and he has feelings for me, too. I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I love him and don't want to lose him. I also don't want to ruin his friendship with the other guy.
My boyfriend wants to have sex again, but I don't. I wish I could take it back. What can I do? -- LOST AND CONFUSED
DEAR LOST AND CONFUSED: Because you had sex once does not mean you are compelled to do it again. Feeling as you do about the best friend is a strong sign that as much as you care for your boyfriend, you are not in love with him.
If you are being pressured to have sex, it's important for your sake that you tell your boyfriend you feel it happened too soon, you're sorry you did it, and you have decided to wait until you are older to start again. It would be an intelligent move for you because your affections appear to be all over the map right now.
I am also concerned because you didn't mention whether you both used birth control. It's a sign of maturity when couples plan ahead and take precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. (And yes, a girl can get pregnant the first time.) In fact, there's a word for teens who have sex on the spur of the moment and don't use birth control: It's PARENTS.