DEAR ABBY: My daughter was married eight months ago. During the planning of the wedding, her fiance was very involved in every aspect of decision-making. Soon after the vows were exchanged, her new husband became cold and distant toward her. He would constantly tell her she made him miserable, and he allowed his mother to ridicule and berate her over things from her hair color to her cooking.

My husband and I kept quiet because we didn't want to interfere. About a month ago, he decided he no longer wanted to be married. Since then, my daughter has revealed that shortly after the wedding she discovered her engagement ring was a fake, and he insisted she pay for half the costs of the honeymoon -- which she did.

We're not wealthy people, so paying for their wedding was a stretch for us. I am furious that my soon-to-be ex-son-in-law sat and watched us spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, knowing full well my daughter was wearing a fake ring on her hand and then insisted she pay for half the honeymoon.

I wonder what his real motive was in marrying her. He shows no remorse and portrays himself as the "victim" for having married someone who couldn't get along with his mother.

How do I move forward and get over my anger and need for retribution? -- OUTRAGED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR OUTRAGED: Start by thanking your lucky stars that your daughter will soon be free of a husband who appears to be already married to his mother. Then realize that your daughter was married to a dishonest, verbally abusive user to whom she might have been tied for a lifetime if she'd had a child or two with him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old gay man, and I still don't know if I want to have children or not. I feel that by this point I should know, but I don't. When I date, the subject inevitably comes up, and I never know how to respond.

I used to think that children were an expense I would never want, but now the thought pops into my head from time to time. People have told me I'd be a great dad. I think so, too.

When and how will I know for sure? And in the meantime, what should I tell the guys I date? -- UNDECIDED IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR UNDECIDED: It is not unusual for a person your age -- regardless of sexual orientation -- to be unsure about taking on the responsibilities of parenthood. You will probably know "for sure" you want children when you are in a stable relationship and financially able to provide for them. In the meantime, tell the guys you date that you "think" you would like to be a parent one day -- but you're not yet ready to set up a nursery.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old male. Is it normal for me to be dating a woman who is in her mid-50s? I really like her, and she likes me, but sex seems to be an issue because she is hesitant to engage with someone who is my age. In her words, she is old enough to be my mother and it's "weird." What are your thoughts? -- JAY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR JAY: It's unusual for a man in his 20s to be dating a woman that much older, but it's not unheard of. It is more common for the reverse to be true. Remind her that the age difference hasn't stopped some men from doing it, and we're living in the age of equality.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl. I don't understand why adults tell me to be an independent thinker, to embrace myself, and then put me down for not conforming. Why is it outrageous to come to your own conclusions, speculate, challenge accepted ideas or find your own faith? It would be easier to quietly nod an empty head and smile to please our parents and the adults who influence kids, so they can enjoy superficial satisfaction for how "well" they have raised us.

Should I deny myself as an individual and be pulled along, or is it better to stay quiet and just be who everyone expects you to be? -- INDEPENDENT THINKER IN FLORIDA

DEAR INDEPENDENT THINKER: Independent thinkers are the people who have contributed the most to society. Our most important scientific discoveries were conceived by individuals who chose not to accept conventional thinking. The same is true for religion -- Jesus was an independent thinker.

I'm not sure what kind of conversation you feel the adults in your life are trying to discourage. But people who are deeply committed to their religious faith can feel offended or threatened if their beliefs are challenged. Even though you are an independent thinker, you should be respectful of the beliefs of others.

DEAR ABBY: Around the time of my sister's wedding, she and her fiance, "Greg," tried to get me and their best man, "Bruce," together. They brought him along when they would visit and encouraged us to date. Not long after the wedding we did start dating.

Bruce is a great guy and I enjoy being with him. My problem is, he's my brother-in-law's nephew even though they are close in age. (Bruce's mom is Greg's half sister.)

Am I dating a family member? Are we committing incest? Should we end this relationship? I don't know what is "right." -- WEIRDED OUT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WEIRDED OUT: Bruce is not a blood relative; he is related to you by marriage. That is not the same as incest. If you care about each other, the right thing to do is continue the relationship and see where it leads. "Great guys" can make great husbands.

DEAR ABBY: My husband fathered a child in high school that was placed for adoption. His mother has become very close with the adoptive family and visits often. My husband does not. However, my mother-in-law constantly asks him to go on vacation with her to visit the child. I also found out that she sends the child gifts and signs my husband's name on the cards.

Abby, I feel this is hugely disrespectful not only to me, but also to my husband. He has chosen not to get involved with this child because he doesn't think it's fair to the adoptive family. He also doesn't wish to become attached. We have already told her she is overstepping her boundaries, but it continues to happen. What can we do? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your mother-in-law may have the best of intentions, but forging your husband's name is dishonest. Sooner or later the child will find out the truth, and the result may be painful. However, there is nothing you can do to control your husband's mother's behavior, so accept it and don't take it personally.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old man who is serving time for robbery in West Virginia. Every day I wake up acting as if I am in control and don't have a care in the world. The truth is, I'm scared, lonely and feel totally helpless. All my life I have lived on the dark side of the street, taking for granted the values in life and the love so many people tried to give me.

Two failed marriages and several relationships with good women are over because of my determination to follow an unhealthy dream, not to mention all the friends I have lost as well.

Now as I look around me, there's no one there. No one to love and no one to love me. I never knew until now that chasing that dream would cost me everyone I ever loved.

I know I have made bad choices in life. I deserve the time for the crime I committed. But am I also sentenced to a world of loneliness? Can I ever be loved again and be happy after all the wrong I have done? Is there someone out there who would be willing to give me a chance? Is it too late to start over?

Abby, you have so many answers for so many people, I am just hoping you have an answer for me. -- SERVING TIME

DEAR SERVING TIME: It is never too late to start over. With penitence comes redemption. If you are willing to journey down a different path, the relationships you form along the way will be rewarding, long-lasting and mutual. Because of your criminal record you may have to work harder to gain trust, but I promise you that if you're willing to work at it, it can be done.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband, the father of our two children, was retired from the Air Force. He passed away 18 years ago. He had a full military funeral, with draped flag and all. His wife at the time was presented with the flag, which was proper. They had no children.

When she passes on, would it be proper for her family to give the flag to his biological children? After all, they were with him -- as was I -- throughout his entire 22-year military career. When my daughter mentioned it to his wife, she got angry. -- C. IN TEXAS

DEAR C.: Your former husband's wife was entitled to whatever property was left after his demise. The flag is hers to bestow -- or not. I don't know how your daughter's request was phrased, but the woman may have been offended by the way the question was asked. I can't think of any other reason she would become angry.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding a letter you printed Jan. 26 from "Wants to Be Polite." I appreciate the person's sentiments because I, too, want to use good manners and a "You're welcome" or "Have a nice day" is a pleasing reply to hear.

What I do not like is a "No problem" reply to a "Thank you." It does not seem like a sincere response to me. In fact, it sounds like I was expected to be a problem and just happened not to be one. Any thoughts on this? -- ARKANSAS LADY

DEAR ARKANSAS LADY: You may not like hearing it, but you had better get used to it. While "You're welcome" may be more gracious, saying "No problem" reflects a generational shift in the vernacular. And while it may seem jarring, it is intended to be a polite response, so accept it graciously.