DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old man who is serving time for robbery in West Virginia. Every day I wake up acting as if I am in control and don't have a care in the world. The truth is, I'm scared, lonely and feel totally helpless. All my life I have lived on the dark side of the street, taking for granted the values in life and the love so many people tried to give me.

Two failed marriages and several relationships with good women are over because of my determination to follow an unhealthy dream, not to mention all the friends I have lost as well.

Now as I look around me, there's no one there. No one to love and no one to love me. I never knew until now that chasing that dream would cost me everyone I ever loved.

I know I have made bad choices in life. I deserve the time for the crime I committed. But am I also sentenced to a world of loneliness? Can I ever be loved again and be happy after all the wrong I have done? Is there someone out there who would be willing to give me a chance? Is it too late to start over?

Abby, you have so many answers for so many people, I am just hoping you have an answer for me. -- SERVING TIME

DEAR SERVING TIME: It is never too late to start over. With penitence comes redemption. If you are willing to journey down a different path, the relationships you form along the way will be rewarding, long-lasting and mutual. Because of your criminal record you may have to work harder to gain trust, but I promise you that if you're willing to work at it, it can be done.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband, the father of our two children, was retired from the Air Force. He passed away 18 years ago. He had a full military funeral, with draped flag and all. His wife at the time was presented with the flag, which was proper. They had no children.

When she passes on, would it be proper for her family to give the flag to his biological children? After all, they were with him -- as was I -- throughout his entire 22-year military career. When my daughter mentioned it to his wife, she got angry. -- C. IN TEXAS

DEAR C.: Your former husband's wife was entitled to whatever property was left after his demise. The flag is hers to bestow -- or not. I don't know how your daughter's request was phrased, but the woman may have been offended by the way the question was asked. I can't think of any other reason she would become angry.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding a letter you printed Jan. 26 from "Wants to Be Polite." I appreciate the person's sentiments because I, too, want to use good manners and a "You're welcome" or "Have a nice day" is a pleasing reply to hear.

What I do not like is a "No problem" reply to a "Thank you." It does not seem like a sincere response to me. In fact, it sounds like I was expected to be a problem and just happened not to be one. Any thoughts on this? -- ARKANSAS LADY

DEAR ARKANSAS LADY: You may not like hearing it, but you had better get used to it. While "You're welcome" may be more gracious, saying "No problem" reflects a generational shift in the vernacular. And while it may seem jarring, it is intended to be a polite response, so accept it graciously.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to know what the fascination is with putting plugs in one's earlobes. I have seen some as large as half dollar coins. What does the person do if he regrets having done this to his ears? Can the holes be surgically closed? -- UNPIERCED IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR UNPIERCED: I spoke to James Wisniewski of the Body Electric Tattoo piercing studio in Los Angeles. He told me that, as with any type of body modification, the ear plugs are a matter of personal taste.

The process is referred to as "stretching," and James has had his earlobes this way for the past 14 years. He says he is asked about the procedure on a daily basis. He is attracted to it for the aesthetics. The modification is a gradual process, with larger jewelry being inserted as the hole becomes larger.

James recommends consulting a plastic surgeon if someone decides to have the hole closed because new tissue is grown as a result of the earlobe stretching. The extra skin may have to be removed in the same way as after a major weight loss.

DEAR ABBY: I am 17 and I want to start writing a book about things I have been through in my life. My family is all for it, but my friends are against it. I am torn about what I should do. I feel if I write this book it will help kids my age who may have been through some of the same things I have.

Should I go through with it or not because my friends think it's a stupid idea? I know I'm not exactly the smartest person and getting a publisher is difficult, but does that make it a stupid idea to try? What should I do? -- CONFLICTED IN INDIANA

DEAR CONFLICTED: Your reason for wanting to write a book is a valid one and you should proceed with it regardless of what your friends think. It will help you organize your thoughts, and if you show your chapters to your English teacher, you can effectively sharpen your writing skills.

Worrying about a publisher now is putting the cart before the horse. While it might be helpful for other teens to read, I promise you that even if the book isn't published, it will become a treasured time capsule containing the thoughts that were important to you during this formative period of your life. Some people your age start writing in diaries or journals and continue doing it throughout their lives.

DEAR ABBY: What is the correct response when asked at a doctor's office or hospital if you drink? I drink socially, maybe once a month. Should I say yes? If I do, I'm afraid it will imply that I drink more often.

I always end up feeling awkward and like I need to explain myself. I'm pretty proud telling them I don't smoke or do drugs, but the alcohol question always gets me. What do other people who drink on occasion usually say? -- FILLING OUT THE FORMS IN OHIO

DEAR FILLING: In my doctor's office I was asked that question, and my response was, "Yes, occasionally." At that point, the follow-up question was, "How many drinks do you have a week?" Because this particular question makes you uncomfortable, mention to your physician that you indulge in alcohol only about once a month -- which is practically negligible.

DEAR ABBY: I have just discovered that my granddaughter's mother helped her get a Facebook page on which she is listed as 17, interested in men and in a relationship. The child is only 11, but you'd never know it from the makeup and hairdo in her photo.

I am heartbroken that she is being "marketed" this way and that her prospects for a life of achievement and happiness are zero. I have little to no contact with her because I have been put off by her mother's "street" attitude. If her lips are moving, the woman is lying. My granddaughter is disrespectful and ignorant.

What breaks my heart is that I had hoped to pass on to her items that have been in our family for generations, including a sizable inheritance. What can I do to salvage a relationship with a girl who wants nothing to do with me? Failing that, where can I turn to replace her with a more suitable heir? My son can't father any more children. -- SAD GRANNY IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAD GRANNY: Your granddaughter may be disrespectful because her mother dislikes you, and you haven't been around enough so the girl could really get to know you. Also, she is only 11. Her mother is presenting her on Facebook in an inappropriate manner (to put it mildly), and the result could be tragic.

Is it possible for your son to talk with a lawyer and seek custody? If it's not, he should contact child protective services. Rather than "replace" your grandchild, it would be better for all concerned to help her.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I found out that my wife of 14 years was sneaking around behind my back with her high school sweetheart. I confronted both of them and it ended. I forgave her, but I still can't sleep at night because of something that's bothering me. His wife has no idea about the affair, and I feel guilty that I haven't told her about everything that happened.

Some of my friends say I should call her and tell her, but now it seems like it happened too long ago to bring it to her attention. Also, in an attempt to get her husband to come clean -- which he did -- I promised him I wouldn't tell his wife.

My wife and I have patched things up and we're having the best years of our life together. So the question is, should I break my word and possibly upset my new relationship with my wife so I can not feel this guilt? -- CAN'T SLEEP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR CAN'T SLEEP: Surely there's a better cure for your insomnia than causing needless pain to the wife. The affair ended years ago, and she is blameless in all this. Because you are still having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor about it. Some sessions with a psychologist or a licensed family therapist may help you to assuage your guilt and find closure.

DEAR ABBY: I have had the same barber for several years and he is a good friend. While he was on vacation, I used another barber in the shop for a cut. I really like how he cut my hair. How can I change barbers without causing hurt feelings? -- LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR LOOKIN' GOOD: Barbers are human like everyone else. If you announce that you want to make a change, there probably will be hurt feelings. The question you must ask yourself is, is your relationship with your barber/friend such a close one that you're willing to tolerate continuing to patronize him even though you think someone else can do a better job. (Now that's friendship!)