DEAR ABBY: I was divorced when my son was 9. He's now 24. My ex-wife married the man she had been having an affair with and they have a 12-year-old son. I am also remarried and in a good place in my life.

For the past two years, my son has brought his half brother to our beach house for a weekend of fun. We honored this request and enjoy time with our son, but it is difficult having his half brother in my home. It brings up emotions I thought I had put behind me years ago.

I do not want these visits to continue, and I need to communicate this. I'd like to have an adult conversation with my son to explain the situation. How much do I tell him about my emotional reasons without being negative about his mom?

I also don't think he should have to carry the news to my ex or disappoint a 12-year-old. Should I send a simple note to her and explain that we will no longer host her son? -- NEEDS THE RIGHT WORDS

DEAR NEEDS: By all means write your ex. Explain that entertaining her son brings up emotions you would rather not have to relive. It's not the boy's fault that he's the flesh-and-blood symbol of his mother's infidelity, but you don't have to have him there if you don't want to.

If you would like to have a man-to-man talk with your son, go ahead and do it. He's an adult. Tell him pretty much the same thing -- that having the boy over is painful for you and, therefore, you prefer the beach house visits stop. You are entitled to your feelings, and your son is old enough to appreciate them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a widow, as are many of my friends these days. Widowhood is difficult. If you're not prepared, it can be horrible. That's why I'd like to urge women to learn to take care of themselves because the odds are they will be alone sooner or later after the age of 50. Some suggestions:

1. If you haven't already, learn to drive.

2. Learn to pump gas and how to check your tires and the fluids in your car.

3. Learn to use a few basic tools and do home repairs.

4. Pay attention to financial matters such as balancing a checkbook.

5. Know where your records are, what's in them and what information you will need for taxes.

6. Buy a shredder and shred unnecessary papers.

7. Make friends with other women. If you don't, life gets lonely.

8. Be courageous and do what you need to do to be happy.

9. Start to simplify your home. It will free your mind from clutter and, if necessary, allow you to move to smaller quarters.

10. Let your children lead their lives, lead your own and present a cheerful face to the world! -- KATHLEEN IN DULUTH, MINN.

DEAR KATHLEEN: Those are excellent suggestions, to which I would add how important it is to consult a CPA and a lawyer if your spouse hasn't already shown you what you need to know.

A HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO MY IRISH READERS:

May you always have

A sunbeam to warm you

Good luck to charm you

And a sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you

Laughter to cheer you

Faithful friends near you

And whenever you pray, heaven to hear you.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are in our 20s and have been dating for five years. We're renovating a home that we will live in once it's completed. We have never lived together before.

During the renovation I have come to the house to find that he has opened packages that were addressed to me. The first time, I didn't say anything because I thought he might have thought it was his. After the second and third times, I mentioned -- nicely -- that they weren't his to open. He claims he "knew" they were things for the house, which is why he opened them.

I was raised that people's mail and packages were theirs to open, and I would never think of opening anything sent to him. This is an issue for me, but he brushes it off. He feels entitled to open my packages since it is his home, too. How can I make it clear that I expect him to respect my personal mail when he thinks this is no big deal? -- NO RESPECT IN NEW YORK

DEAR NO RESPECT: If I were you, I'd be less concerned about his opening your packages and far more concerned that when you tell him something bothers you, he ignores it. His disregard for your feelings is a red flag.

Your boyfriend appears to think that what is yours is his. Is the reverse also true? (I'll bet it's not.) Does he also check your phone messages and email? Does this extend to any other areas of your relationship?

If this was only about his opening your mail, I would advise you to open a post office box in your name only. However, if the answer to any of my questions is yes, I think you should take a sober look at the entire relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is addicted to prescription painkillers and has been for more than 10 years. She went to rehab once, but relapsed and hasn't been able to get clean since. She has tried to quit on her own, but ends up having great emotional stress and slight psychotic episodes and starts again.

My problem is, my husband sees her addiction as "manageable." He sees no harm in having her watch our 3-year-old daughter, even though he has told me he has seen her nod off with her eyes rolled back like drug addicts do, usually during the afternoon. When we argue about this, he becomes defensive and attacks my family for being "overprotective and paranoid."

Am I right to put my foot down? I'm sick and tired of fighting over this. -- NOT PARANOID IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NOT PARANOID: Continue putting your foot down! A person whose eyes have rolled back after taking drugs or alcohol hasn't "nodded off." The person has lost consciousness and passed out. In your mother-in-law's case, it means that while she may be physically present, she is completely unavailable to supervise your child. Leaving your daughter under the care of a person in this condition is child endangerment. That's why you can't allow it.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please settle a friendly debate between me and my friends? Is it ever appropriate to use your cellphone to update social media or send a text message during a church sermon, or is it still considered a rude act? -- OLD-FASHIONED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: It's still considered rude. In a house of worship, we are supposed to be thinking about more important things than our social schedule, our Facebook page or who tweeted us.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman on a predominantly male college campus. One morning, while walking to a class, I had the misfortune of walking a few feet ahead of a pair of boys who were having an incredibly offensive and loud conversation about their sexual interests. It was extremely derogatory toward women, and just plain disgusting.

In a situation like this, would it have been inappropriate for me to turn around and say something, or was it better to just hold my tongue and walk faster? I have discussed this with some of my sorority sisters and we are anxious to hear your answer because I'm not the only one who has encountered this. -- OFFENDED IN GEORGIA

DEAR OFFENDED: You were right not to challenge them. Because this isn't an isolated incident, what you have described could be considered a form of sexual harassment. You and your sorority sisters should -- as a group -- bring this to the attention of the dean because you are a minority on that campus and the boys apparently haven't learned to function in an integrated environment.

DEAR ABBY: Can a sexless marriage last? My wife and I have been married for 17 years and our sex life has been slowing for a long time. We have sex less than 10 times a year.

We get along great and are the best of friends. My wife is attractive and fun to be with, and I don't know what happened to us. What causes women to lose their sex drive? (Then they wonder why their husbands have affairs.)

My wife is in good health. There are no medical issues. We are more friends than lovers. I don't think she's involved with anyone else. I want a fun, active sex life, but I don't want to upset her or lose the closeness we have. It's just that I'm watching our sex life evaporate. Please help. -- MIKE IN MISSOURI

DEAR MIKE: As women age, their hormone levels decrease, which can cause the sex drive to diminish. The reduced hormone levels can also make sex painful. If your wife would discuss these changes with her gynecologist or an endocrinologist, there may be a solution that would put some spark back in your marriage. However, that won't happen unless you are able to speak frankly with her about what's bothering you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been studying my whole life to become a classical singer. Many people have put great effort into helping me to succeed, especially my mother, who wanted to be an opera singer when she was my age. She is not a pushy stage mother, though. I chose to pursue music myself.

However, I have recently realized my heart is not fully in it and that I'd rather go to law school. I'm afraid to tell my mother and the other people about my decision because they have invested so much in me as a performer. I don't want to disappoint them, but my passion is now constitutional law. How do I share the news without breaking my mother's heart? -- SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE

DEAR SINGING: Your mother may be disappointed, but her heart will heal. If your passion is not in opera singing, the truth is you won't go very far in the field. (Even people who are passionate about it don't always succeed.) Wanting to be a lawyer is nothing to be ashamed of. Follow your dream.