DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before he died my grandfather used to show me and my sister the only guitar he kept from his collection he started way back when he was my age. It was an early 1960s Gibson SG Special. I remember how beautiful and next-to-new it looked and he showed us how he had our Gram sew in a little rose in the case for him.

He told me that since I was what he called the musical one in the family, he wanted to make sure I got his guitar to keep it in the family.

When I was downtown last week I saw my grandfather’s guitar in a pawn shop. I knew it was his because I could see the rose my Gran made for the case.

I never knew what happened to it, so I asked my dad, and he said so far as he knew, my aunt still had it and that it was supposed to stay in the family, no matter what.

When I asked my aunt about it she told me her daughter, my cousin and someone I thought of as a good friend, had been given the guitar when she turned 21. So far as she knew it was still being held onto by my cousin.

When I caught up with my cousin she said she needed some cash, so she pawned it, and was saving up to go back and get it asap.

So far I haven’t told anyone besides my sister and my parents about this. It was a sad deal to me because my grandfather had always told me I would get to be the next one to hold onto the guitar. So I think it should have come to me.

Now I am mad at my cousin for hocking it.

The pawn shop wants nearly $3500, and I don’t have that kind of money, and I know my cousin sure as sh_t doesn’t have it either. So I think the guitar that was so loved by my Grandpa, which was supposed to have come to me, will be lost to the family.

How is this right?! --- NOT HERS TO HOCK

DEAR NOT HERS TO HOCK: I don’t blame you for being upset if you had every reason to believe the guitar was to have been yours according to your grandfather’s wishes.

Unfortunately, without any concrete evidence that you were the one intended by your grandfather to have the guitar, that battle is most likely lost.

However, perhaps something can still be done to raise the money to get either your cousin’s loan settled or the guitar directly purchased.

You might want to investigate if anyone else in the family agrees this is an heirloom worth holding onto. If so, you could possibly arrange for a loan or other financial assistance to help you make certain your grandfather’s treasure remains in the family.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Because of his neuropathy in his feet Dad can no longer drive, including to doctors’ appointments. He still lives on his own and has an aide who comes in three times a week, but she also doesn’t drive, so she can’t get him to the doctor. That leaves me getting him to his appointments, especially after we tried the senior transport offered by our county, which was more frustration than it was worth.

Whenever possible I make all Dad’s appointments at the very end of the day or as close to my lunch break as I can. I ALWAYS make up my hours within a day or two of taking the time out of the working day to get him where he needs to be.

I am far from the only person in the office who needs to flex their time to cover family situations, but almost all the others are mothers of school-age kids, not middle-aged men like me.

A couple of weeks ago my boss made a comment about how much flexing I’ve been doing. It was when Dad had pneumonia on top of his other health issues and I had to get him first to urgent care and then to follow-up visits with his regular doctor. I told her I made up every single minute I lost during the 9-5 work day, and yet I was the one who got a comment, not the women who leave early to get their kids to their doctor appointments or even to or from afterschool activities.

I reminded my boss I always make up the time, but I still felt like I was being targeted because I am not a mother.

Doesn’t that seem lopsided to you? --- DAD NEEDS ME

DEAR DAD NEEDS ME: As long as you’re getting your work done and your required hours in each week, and that’s how your office runs, it does seem unreasonable if you’re being singled out for your time-flexing for family care.

Before coming to that conclusion, though, you might want to speak with some of your female coworkers to see if in fact your boss has made any comments to them about the amount of days they end up having to rearrange their schedule to accommodate the demands of their family life.

You may find you’re not the only one being singled out after all.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have lived in several multiple roommate homes. I’m a musician and as a rule I prefer to live with other musicians.

I just moved into a new place with a couple and the wife’s younger sister, all musicians. It’s a cool older home with one of those built-in coat racks right by the front door. We all put our coats or jackets there so they’re easy to grab on the way out of the house.

There’s a skanky old raincoat I was told belonged to the sisters’ grandfather. He was a commercial fisherman. We live in the house he lived in until the day he died, which was right here in the house.

The three of them take turns wearing the raincoat to auditions and gigs. They say it’s a good luck tradition. They also say I ought to wear it every time I go out for an audition.

I think it’s a cute tradition for them, but no way am I going to put that smelly thing on over anything I wear.

I think it’s sweet they want to share their lucky coat with me, but how do I tell them I’m taking a hard pass on their offer now and for as long as I live with them? --- NO THANKS

DEAR NO THANKS: To avoid seeming ungracious, I’d thank your roommates for their generous offer to share their lucky charm, and then tell them that you have your own rituals that you like to follow.

No need to mention what they are, or even if you don’t happen to have any. Superstitious people are often inclined to respect the beliefs of others, and that might be enough to get you off the hook with your superstitious housemates.