DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Because of his neuropathy in his feet Dad can no longer drive, including to doctors’ appointments. He still lives on his own and has an aide who comes in three times a week, but she also doesn’t drive, so she can’t get him to the doctor. That leaves me getting him to his appointments, especially after we tried the senior transport offered by our county, which was more frustration than it was worth.

Whenever possible I make all Dad’s appointments at the very end of the day or as close to my lunch break as I can. I ALWAYS make up my hours within a day or two of taking the time out of the working day to get him where he needs to be.

I am far from the only person in the office who needs to flex their time to cover family situations, but almost all the others are mothers of school-age kids, not middle-aged men like me.

A couple of weeks ago my boss made a comment about how much flexing I’ve been doing. It was when Dad had pneumonia on top of his other health issues and I had to get him first to urgent care and then to follow-up visits with his regular doctor. I told her I made up every single minute I lost during the 9-5 work day, and yet I was the one who got a comment, not the women who leave early to get their kids to their doctor appointments or even to or from afterschool activities.

I reminded my boss I always make up the time, but I still felt like I was being targeted because I am not a mother.

Doesn’t that seem lopsided to you? --- DAD NEEDS ME

DEAR DAD NEEDS ME: As long as you’re getting your work done and your required hours in each week, and that’s how your office runs, it does seem unreasonable if you’re being singled out for your time-flexing for family care.

Before coming to that conclusion, though, you might want to speak with some of your female coworkers to see if in fact your boss has made any comments to them about the amount of days they end up having to rearrange their schedule to accommodate the demands of their family life.

You may find you’re not the only one being singled out after all.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have lived in several multiple roommate homes. I’m a musician and as a rule I prefer to live with other musicians.

I just moved into a new place with a couple and the wife’s younger sister, all musicians. It’s a cool older home with one of those built-in coat racks right by the front door. We all put our coats or jackets there so they’re easy to grab on the way out of the house.

There’s a skanky old raincoat I was told belonged to the sisters’ grandfather. He was a commercial fisherman. We live in the house he lived in until the day he died, which was right here in the house.

The three of them take turns wearing the raincoat to auditions and gigs. They say it’s a good luck tradition. They also say I ought to wear it every time I go out for an audition.

I think it’s a cute tradition for them, but no way am I going to put that smelly thing on over anything I wear.

I think it’s sweet they want to share their lucky coat with me, but how do I tell them I’m taking a hard pass on their offer now and for as long as I live with them? --- NO THANKS

DEAR NO THANKS: To avoid seeming ungracious, I’d thank your roommates for their generous offer to share their lucky charm, and then tell them that you have your own rituals that you like to follow.

No need to mention what they are, or even if you don’t happen to have any. Superstitious people are often inclined to respect the beliefs of others, and that might be enough to get you off the hook with your superstitious housemates.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am curious to know from another mother how she would react to coming home from work or being out to find her teenage son in the backyard on a sunny day laying out in the sun on a chair fully nude ‒ being able to see it all, full view of his penis, pubic hair, etc.

If no one else is home do you ignore it and let him be, or scold him for just being nude? --- MOTHER OF A NUDE SUNBATHER

DEAR MOTHER OF A NUDE SUNBATHER: My first consideration ‒ after any potential legal issues over public nudity ‒ would be whether any neighbors or passersby are able to see into the yard. If so, your son needs to take into account that his nude sunbathing may not be as private a practice as he thinks it is.

The same applies if his being nude in the backyard makes you or anyone else living in your household uncomfortable. He started his session when no one else was home, but that’s not how it ended, and if he’s planning to make this a regular thing, he’d do well to have something at the ready to cover his more personal parts.

For those reasons alone, I don’t believe you should let it go unmentioned.

As to a scolding, I’m not sure if that’s entirely necessary. Given what I know of teenage boys, I’d bet the fact that his mother saw her not so little boy in the buff might just change his mind about getting that allover tan if there’s even a chance of future sunbaths being unexpectedly interrupted.

And PS – remind him to use sunscreen.