DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My dad has got everything going for him. He and my mom have been happily married for over 30 years. He owns a successful business he built from nothing. His kids and grandkids are all happy and healthy. Yet when he turned 60 last month, he started getting depressed, and even started drinking more than I have ever seen him drink before.

My mom says he just isn’t himself, but that she thinks it all has to do with turning 60, and that he just needs some time to get used to the idea.

I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. We keep telling him it’s just a number, and all that. Why should he be so down about getting to an age some of his friends never did? --- WHAT’S TO BE SAD ABOUT

DEAR WHAT’S TO BE SAD ABOUT: When we’re young, most of the landmark birthdays introduce exciting new options and possibilities. It’s easy to get revved up about turning 16,18, or 21, for example.

For many though, turning 50, 60, or older comes with less rosy prospects. The stark reality is, most of your life is behind you, and there are some major physical, mental, and emotional realignments that come with the territory. On the other hand, in the right frame of mind, there are both rewards and benefits in entering “prime time.” It’s just not always very easy to see that, at least in the beginning.

Rather than criticize your dad, I think you should try to be more understanding and supportive. When possible, offer to do things with him that you know he usually enjoys. Strongly encourage him to be around the other people he loves as much as possible. And continue to frequently check in with your mom to see how he’s doing — especially with the increased drinking — as he moves through this jarring time of life. In other words, just be there for your parents, and be as patient as you can be.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I started taking a spin class two nights a week, when my husband is home to cover the kids. It’s a nice group of women, most of them my age and also with young children.

We often go for coffee after the class, which is usually a nice bonus. Sometimes though, they get on my nerves when the topic of my being home fulltime comes up. There’s only one other woman in the group who’s also taking time out to raise her family, and we get lectured on how we’re giving up so much, especially since they say it’ll be nearly impossible for us to make up for this lost time in our careers.

Honestly, I wish they would shut up when they get started with that s

t. I feel like I am having the time of my life being home with my kids while they’re doing all the awesome firsts I would be missing if I were in an office all day. The women like to talk about the difference they’re making in the world, and I think, “Fine for them.” The difference I want to make is in my family’s world, and why don’t they see that’s what works for me? They’re missing out on so much they’ll never know, and I’ve been in their world, and am happy to be where I am now. --- IN THE MINORITY

DEAR IN THE MINORITY: You and your classmates are engaged in an old debate, and one that neither side is likely to ever win. You’re all doing what’s right for each of you, and looking back on these times, five will get you ten you’ll all find things you could-of, should-of done differently. That’s just human nature.

For now, let them talk. You know what’s working for you, and if you’re happy on your path, that’s what matters.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My little sister has always been one of my closest friends. Whenever I start seeing someone new, or go through a breakup, have issues at work, or anything like that, she is usually the first one I tell. But she is also super close to our mom, and a lot of the time I tell my sister something, it makes it to our mother, which I don’t always want to happen. Once our mother hears about something, she gets on my case, and then I end up fighting with her and being mad at my sister.

I want to stay close with my sister, and she often gives me really good advice, but how do I make sure all my news isn’t instantly shared with my mom? --- MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH

DEAR MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH: The obvious solution is that if you don’t want your mother to know your business, keep it to yourself. However, since you value your sister’s counsel, the next most obvious solution is to make it completely clear to her that what you tell her is for her ears only when it’s something you truly don’t want spread around.

If option two doesn’t work because your sister isn’t honoring your wishes, then you’re left with little choice but to follow option one. Perhaps she’ll grow tired of being left out of the loop. Then hopefully she’ll get the message, and you’ll be able to rely on her discretion as well as her advice.