DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve known for a long time that my wife had at least one serious relationship before ours, but at our rehearsal dinner, her dad mentioned something about her previous fiancé. This was big news to me that she had been engaged before, but given everything going on at the time, I had to put it to the back of my mind.
After we were done with all the wedding stuff, I had time to try and figure out why this little detail was never shared with me. I don’t care that my wife was engaged before. I do mind that she never felt the need to tell me.
So far, I haven’t said anything to her. But now the more I think about it, the more I think I have to clear the air. Do you agree? --- THE SECOND FIANCÉ
DEAR THE SECOND FIANCÉ: It’s obvious this is becoming an important issue to you, and one you need to deal with so you can move forward in your marriage. My advice is that if you decide to broach the subject, think long and hard about how you do it. Communication is key to any lasting marriage, but so is respecting your partner’s feelings and privacy.
While I can see why you’re upset, your wife’s life before you were in it is her business. Have you shared with her every aspect of your past before you and she were a couple? Besides, she may have good reasons for not wanting to revisit the details of her earlier engagement.