life

Wife's Constant Need to Remodel Exhausts Husband

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 16th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Since moving into our house less than five years ago, we have repainted our living room/dining room, kitchen, and lower half bath twice each. We have also arranged and rearranged the furniture in every room at least five times. Nothing seems to satisfy my wife, who is good about not always spending money besides for paint, but can’t seem to be happy with even her own redesigns.

I am glad my wife has what my mother keeps calling “house pride”, but it gets to be a lot, especially since the painting eats up so much of our weekend time. It’s like it’s a hobby or something for my wife, but I would like to get other things done, not just around the house.

When is enough redecorating enough? --- NO MORE PAINTING, PLEASE

DEAR NO MORE PAINTING, PLEASE: Have you let your wife know you’re burning out on the updates? She may think this is something you enjoy to the same extent as she apparently does.

One suggestion would be to tell her how much you like the current configuration, and that you just want to enjoy it for a while.

Another idea is to help her explore different ways to channel her creative energy. It could still be home-related, such as some decorative art or craft that she could explore, which would likewise enhance the look of your home, without redoing rooms every few months.

Marriage & Divorce
life

LW Disagrees with Having Children at Viewings and Funerals

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 15th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was raised in a time when children, for the most part, didn’t attend wakes or burials. I wasn’t at my own grandmother’s, which took place when I was ten. I didn’t go to a wake until I was nearly graduated from high school, and it was the grandmother of my best friend.

I have been at several wakes in the past few years where children of all ages were present. I’m not sure how I feel about this. My gut tells me children may find it all frightening, especially seeing someone they know laid out in a casket.

Am I just old-fashioned? --- NOT SURE IF IT’S RIGHT

DEAR NOT SURE IF IT’S RIGHT: I don’t think you’re particularly old-fashioned, but rather have opinions formed by the practices you grew up with.

Whether or not it’s a good idea to have children at a viewing or funeral is a subject best dealt with by the child’s immediate family, who hopefully know the child best.

There are also cultural issues that come into play. Some traditions are more inclusive than others when it comes to the rituals of death, and provide guidelines for families to follow.

Personally, I believe children above a certain age should be permitted to attend viewings and funerals if they choose and if there are not strong parental objections. It’s an opportunity to both bid farewell to a loved one, and to begin grasping the concept that death is a natural part of life.

Family & ParentingDeath
life

GF's COVID Temporary Relocation May Become Permanent

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 13th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend went to be with her parents, a five-hour drive away, when the pandemic started last year. It was just supposed to be a temporary situation, but last week she told me she is strongly thinking of staying there and has already started looking for jobs and an apartment.

I am not in a position to relocate, and it is coming as a hurtful surprise that she did not seem to take me into account when she made her decision. I sort of blame her parents, who were never happy their little girl was living with someone they did not especially love themselves.

I can’t help but take this all personally, but should I? --- LEFT BEHIND

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Whether disapproving parents were a factor or not, there may be many valid considerations your girlfriend’s taking into account while making her decision. Perhaps, although you feel you were blindsided, there were clues that she was leaning in this direction that you missed, especially if the end result was that she was going to make the move permanent.

Painful as the new development is, taking it personally will only harm you. If she decides to stay where she is, it might prove a lot healthier overall to chalk it up to life in an extraordinary time. A lot of people have ended up in completely different circumstances than they thought they’d be in this time last year.

Love & DatingCOVID-19

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