life

New Husband's Household Habits Disenchant Wife

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 11th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before we got married my husband was living in an apartment with two other guys. All the time I spent there, I was impressed at how clean and neat the place was. My then boyfriend’s bedroom could be less than neat, but I figured he was just being a guy.

I didn’t know until after we were married early last year that one of the roommates was a compulsive cleaner and that’s why the apartment always looked so nice in the kitchen, living room, and dining area. Now that it’s just my husband and me, I see he’s either a slob, lazy, or both. I have to pick up after him and am the only one who notices when the bathrooms and kitchen need a good cleaning.

I love him and want to make our marriage work, but he’s got to learn to pitch in some. How do I get him to do that, other than my nagging him, which he seems to never hear? --- MARRIED TO A SLOB

DEAR MARRIED TO A SLOB: I’m guessing your husband has gotten away with not cleaning up after himself for a very long time, which may help feed his immunity to your nagging.

I think it’s time to sit down with him and tell him directly and calmly how the current housekeeping situation is not working for you at all, and that it’s causing you to resent his lack of effort.

Communication is key. In these still early days of marriage, now’s the time to figure out how to best make a true partnership you can both live with.

Marriage & Divorce
life

LW Losing Interest in Going Out of the House

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 9th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After months and a holiday season of staying mostly in my home, I am finding it hard to think about getting back out in the world.

My job was always split between my home office and main office, so it wasn’t that big a deal to go remote fulltime. What is beginning to scare me is that I can’t shake how comfortable I have gotten keeping mostly to myself.

I’m young and healthy enough to be on the bottom of the vaccination barrel, but even when I get it, will I be a wuss for still not wanting to go out too much? --- COMFORTABLE AT HOME

DEAR COMFORTABLE AT HOME: Based on how other people I know seem to be feeling, you have a lot of company in your ambivalence about returning to “normal”. So, no, I don’t think you’re at all a wuss.

My guess is you and the rest of us will need time to adjust to a post-COVID-19 world. There’s no doubt some aspects of daily life will be slower than others to get back on a more familiar track; and certainly some things will have changed forever.

It took us awhile to get used to living through the pandemic. Now it will take time for us to adjust to life in what will undoubtedly be a long and sometimes painful recovery.

I see no harm in taking the time you need to be comfortable stepping back out into the world beyond your front door.

COVID-19
life

Craftsman Gets Mixed Reviews from Neighbors

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 5th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am a trained carpenter with a day job in a different field, trying to get my woodworking business off the ground. In the past year, I have gained some regular clients and done some custom work, which has led to other jobs.

The problem is, I live in a three-story apartment building, on the middle floor, and no matter how much I try to keep my power tool work to regular daytime hours right after I get home and on my days off during the week and weekends, some people have complained about noise, never to me, but to management. When the weather is nice, I do as much work as I can out on my porch, but with the colder weather, I need to work more indoors. The funny thing is, most of my new customers are my neighbors and other people here in the apartment complex, who heard I do this kind of work.

I can’t afford to move to a house or rent a shop right now, so what else can I do to keep from being evicted and still work on my business? --- TRYING TO GROW MY BUSINESS

DEAR TRYING TO GROW MY BUSINESS: Given that more than the usual number of neighbors may be home during the week these days, it doesn’t surprise me that your activities are getting additional notice compared to more normal times.

Have you looked into renting a climate-controlled storage unit? I’ve heard that a few chains allow workshops to be set-up, and there may be some with that policy in your area.

The other thing you might investigate is if any of your friends or coworkers in private homes would rent out garage or basement space to you. You may still encounter limits on working times, but it would probably be easier than trying to please a whole apartment building.

Work & SchoolFriends & Neighbors

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