DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before we got married my husband was living in an apartment with two other guys. All the time I spent there, I was impressed at how clean and neat the place was. My then boyfriend’s bedroom could be less than neat, but I figured he was just being a guy.
I didn’t know until after we were married early last year that one of the roommates was a compulsive cleaner and that’s why the apartment always looked so nice in the kitchen, living room, and dining area. Now that it’s just my husband and me, I see he’s either a slob, lazy, or both. I have to pick up after him and am the only one who notices when the bathrooms and kitchen need a good cleaning.
I love him and want to make our marriage work, but he’s got to learn to pitch in some. How do I get him to do that, other than my nagging him, which he seems to never hear? --- MARRIED TO A SLOB
DEAR MARRIED TO A SLOB: I’m guessing your husband has gotten away with not cleaning up after himself for a very long time, which may help feed his immunity to your nagging.
I think it’s time to sit down with him and tell him directly and calmly how the current housekeeping situation is not working for you at all, and that it’s causing you to resent his lack of effort.
Communication is key. In these still early days of marriage, now’s the time to figure out how to best make a true partnership you can both live with.