DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter is almost 21 years old and she still does not have her driver’s license. A friend of hers was in a wreck when they were teenagers around the time both girls had just begun learning to drive. Although, thank God, no one was seriously hurt in the accident, it was enough to frighten our daughter out of wanting to learn to drive then, and it seems to have given her time to continue growing that fear until now. Fortunately, we live near public transportation, but it is only enough to get her to work and back. For anything else, she has to rely on friends, family, and Uber to get her anywhere.
Not only do we have a willingness to help her learn to drive, but we even have a car that we can put at her disposal and that she could easily afford the insurance and maintenance on for the amount she would use it.
What can we do to convince our daughter that getting her license ultimately gives her independence? --- OUR DAUGHTER WON’T DRIVE
DEAR OUR DAUGHTER WON’T DRIVE: Driving is one of those things that someone has to be truly ready to take on. I saw it with our own kids, all of whom progressed toward their license in their own way, on their own timetable.
I think the best you can do for now is to continue encouraging your daughter, but also let her take the time she needs to feel safe and be more comfortable behind the wheel.