DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My second cousin was supposed to get married with a big church wedding and reception this month. Both my mother and I were sent save the date cards, so we knew we would be invited to the wedding. We went ahead and shared the cost of one of the more expensive items in the couple’s registry, figuring this way we could more easily afford something nicer together that would have been a stretch for us separately.

The big, formal wedding was cancelled, and the couple was married in a private, backyard ceremony, with just the immediate family attending. Neither my mother nor I are particularly close to the bride, and we understand the realities of the times, but we wondered if the bride and groom should return the wedding gifts they received from people not at the wedding. --- NEVER GOT TO THE WEDDING

DEAR NEVER GOT TO THE WEDDING: As I see it, the gift is for the couple, not payment for a seat at the wedding.

Think of it as a similar situation to a guest having to cancel their attendance at the last minute. Would you expect that guest to request the bride and groom to return the gift they already may have sent?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’m the last kid in the family to get their driver’s license. I’m also the only one who opted to be identified as an organ donor, and that is flipping my mother out. She thinks that if anything happens to me, the doctors won’t try to save me so they can get my organs, and all sorts of strange things like that.

I’m over 18 and entitled to register my desire to be a donor. What is my mother’s problem? --- PROUD TO DO MY PART

DEAR PROUD TO DO MY PART: I think you’re doing a fine thing by registering as an organ donor.

My take on your mom’s reaction is that like all of us, we don’t like to think about bad things happening to anyone we love. Your choice placed the reality of your mortality in front of your mom, and I can see how that might flip her out some, especially given what’s been happening these past few months.

Be patient with her. In time, she may get used to the idea, or at least get better at dealing with it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friend, “Annie”, and I have grandchildren who were born within a few weeks of each other. That’s happened twice now, and while it can be fun comparing notes and boasts, Annie has started rubbing me the wrong way with her constant bragging about what her grandkids are doing, usually sooner or better than my grandkids.

I’ve known Annie since we were both young mothers, and she wasn’t like this with her own kids. What evil gene has been activated since she became a grandmother? --- JUST AS PROUD GRANDMA

DEAR JUST AS PROUD GRANDMA: Maybe when you and Annie were raising your own children, she was too busy to find time to dote and brag — or you were too busy to notice if she did.

The next time you find yourselves on the topic of the grandkids, perhaps you should just let her get the incredibleness of her little darlings out of her system. Once she’s had her say, you can update her on what’s happening with your own grandkids, not as a competition, but as some friendly chatting. If she tries to top you at that point, a quick change of subject should be in order.