life

Coworker Good at Dodging Coffee Runs

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 23rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have a guy on our shift who always puts in an order with whoever’s doing the drive-thru Starbucks run before our shift starts. He usually “forgets” to pay, and also always seems to manage to get out of taking his turn on the run, using the excuse he has to be in before everyone to take over from the earlier crew and get everything ready for the rest of us.

I’m not the only one of our coworkers who doesn’t buy this excuse. No one has assigned him to be the shift turnover man, and although he only usually gets a regular coffee, whoever does the run is often out the cost of it.

I am inclined to stop taking and filling his order when it comes my turn to make the stop. I know this may come off as being petty, but don’t you think it might teach him a lesson? --- COFFEE RUNNER

DEAR COFFEE RUNNER: It’s possible your coworker thinks he’s already doing his share for the team by starting earlier than everyone else, and so a free cup of coffee serves as one of those unofficial perks.

Seemingly small annoyances like this can build into bigger problems, so facing it down in a polite, relaxed way now might avoid harder feelings later on.

Rather than putting him on the spot in front of everyone, perhaps you should quietly clue him in that the guys are feeling like he’s taking advantage of them; that the problem is — here’s where you get to be magnanimous — you all don’t mind doing the run since he’s so busy, but you do want to get paid for his portion of it.

Work & School
life

Spouses Disagree on How Soon Is Too Soon to Get a New Pet

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 21st, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife’s cat, which she had since long before we were married, died in April.

We had a huge fight because I suggested now that the shelter is open for adoptions again, she take a look and maybe adopt a new cat. She misses her old one so much, I thought this would help.

Clearly I was wrong. She called me heartless and a lot of other things. She said I wouldn’t just look to replace a human family member so easily, so why should I think she can replace her best feline friend just like that.

Was I wrong to even suggest she find a new friend to help her feel better about losing the old one? --- IN HOT WATER

DEAR IN HOT WATER: It doesn’t take long for a pet to become an important part of the family. Your wife may feel she’ll never replace the pet she lost, since like with our human companions, the relationships we share with our furry ones are unique.

While your intentions are good, I think you really have to leave it up to your wife to decide when, or if, she’ll be ready to find a new pet.

Marriage & DivorceFamily & Parenting
life

When TMI Is, Well, TMI

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 17th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have a coworker, who while being a really good guy, is somewhere on the social maturity scale in the pre-teen years. He does his job, is always pleasant and upbeat, but is also very happy to share the timing of all his bodily functions, sometimes in great detail.

I really don’t need to know when he is heading off to the bathroom, and what his mission is when he gets there.

Do I just continue to ignore this gross habit, or do I say something to him? I don’t think it even occurs to him that I don’t need to know everything he wants to share. --- NO NEED TO KNOW

DEAR NO NEED TO KNOW: Since your office mate’s pronouncements are bothering you, I would guess there’s a good chance they may be getting to others as well. It seems a sort of kindness to discretely let him know that there’s such a thing as over-sharing, and that for his own sake, maybe he should just take care of his private business in a more private fashion.

Work & School

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