DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I can’t help noticing that my son-in-law doesn’t always wear his wedding band. My daughter even got him a couple of those rubber ones for him to wear at work (he’s a county building inspector), but when he comes to dinner right from work, or to church on Sundays, I don’t see him wearing any ring at all.

Do you agree with my husband that I should just let it be? I’ve never yet stuck my nose in our daughter and son-in-law’s business. --- WHERE’S THE RING?

DEAR WHERE’S THE RING?: Unless you have concerns for your daughter’s welfare, it’s most likely best to maintain your no interference policy. I can think of a number of perfectly innocent reasons your son-in-law doesn’t wear his ring, and if it isn’t an issue for his wife, it shouldn’t be one for you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents helped me with my undergrad degree, paying the tuition, while I covered the room and board. I am grateful for all they did, but they’re not able to help me with the cost of my master’s, which I understand. I have always understood they would help me as much as they could and that the rest would be on me.

I’ve been accepted to UC Berkley’s postgraduate engineering program, which is a big deal for my future career prospects.

The last week or two, though, I have been getting a lot of negative comments from my parents about how the large student loans I’m going to have to take out will impact my life once I’m out of school. I understand this, but also figure that with the degree from a top school, my earnings will be commensurately higher, and I’ll manage just fine. They would prefer I go to one of the other, less costly programs to which I’ve also been accepted.

I can see they are really worried about me and I need to find ways to let them know I’m good with the way things are, and I’ll be good with what comes next. What do you think would work? --- OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT

DEAR OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT: I agree your parents’ worries are well-founded. They’re probably hearing a steady supply of stories about kids with solid degrees from top schools, crippling student loan debt, and minimum wage jobs not in the least connected to their fields of study.

It's good that you appreciate their concerns, and unless you can reassure them that you’ll come out as well as you hope you will, I can’t imagine they’ll stop worrying.

You’ll need to counter all the scary anecdotes with a strong foundation of specific potential. If they look encouraging, share statistics on the successful employment rates of graduates from your preferred program. If the school has placement and proven career guidance services, let Mom and Dad know about that too. The more solid evidence you can give them of your imminent employability after you earn your master’s, the less fearful they may be about your future ability to repay a large loan.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have only been married less than a year. He was married before, to his high school sweetheart, but after she dumped him for a coworker, he was pretty busted up. We met two years after the divorce was final, and he moved into my place while we were engaged.

I think I’m a pretty neat and organized person, but I always get the feeling that I’m never neat or organized enough for my husband. If I do something differently from the way his ex did, he finds a way to slip it in his comments to me, and it makes me feel like I never do anything right. Do you agree that he should let me do things my way, and not her way? --- DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED

DEAR DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED: It sounds as if your husband may not be completely over his first wife. If you haven’t already spoken to him about his habit of comparing you to her, then you need to as soon as you can. It’s up to you to remind him she’s no longer the one he’s married to, and you’re the one sharing a home with him — especially since it was your home first.