life

Energetic SIL Starts but Never Finishes

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 13th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter’s husband is one of those people who never sits down. That’s not the problem, even though our daughter is the most laid-back 27-year-old you can imagine.

What gets me is that for all the projects he starts, my SIL never gets around to finishing anything. He bounces from one project to another, and although I’m not one for labels, I sometimes worry he’s manic or hyperactive, or both.

I also worry that his habits will lead to a home that’s full of unfinished “improvements”, and a life for my daughter that’s constantly unsettled.

Do I say something to my daughter, or just keep my lips zipped? --- TO ZIP OR NOT TO ZIP

DEAR TO ZIP OR NOT TO ZIP: Since you have at least one grown child, this can’t be the first time you’ve faced this occupational hazard of parenthood.

While I get your concern and frustration, if your son-in-law’s never-ending-never-finishing habits don’t bother your daughter, and aren’t presenting any health or safety risks, I fall on the “keep it zipped” side of your quandary.

This is something your daughter and her husband have to deal with for themselves, if they even see it as an issue to be dealt with.

Family & Parenting
life

Friend Pushes for Valentine's Day Blind Date

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 11th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I broke up just before Christmas. It was a crappy move on his part, especially since I was completely blindsided.

It’s only been a few weeks, but I already have friends trying to fix me up with someone new. One of them has a guy who is up for a Valentine’s Day blind date. I don’t know this guy at all, and while I’ve seen pictures of him and he looks fine and is supposed to be a really good guy, I just don’t know if I’m ready to be back out there. But I also hate the idea of being alone on Valentine’s Day for the first time for a while.

Do you think I should take up my friend’s match-up offer? --- NOT SURE IF I’M READY YET

DEAR NOT SURE IF I’M READY YET: Depending on how long and how involved your last relationship was, I can see how it would be difficult to jump back into dating after such a relatively short period of time. I also think there’s nothing wrong with putting your toe in the water, if for no other reason than to see if you really are ready to get out there again.

If you can make it absolutely clear that this Valentine’s Day blind date comes with no strings attached, you might find you enjoy having a nice evening out. It’s an approach that takes some of the pressure off your date as well.

Love & Dating
life

Husband Keeps Pushing Houses Near His Mom's

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | February 7th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though I get along pretty well with my mother-in-law, I really don’t want to live too close to her, and my husband keeps pushing our realtor to look in her neighborhood. For one thing, I don’t like the style of mid-century ranchers that are mostly what comes up on the market. Also, I don’t want to be so close to his folks that they can come over whenever they want. The only real plus is that the general area is a good commute for both of us. But is that enough to live the life of “Everybody Loves Raymond”? --- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Sometimes there are advantages to having close family nearby, especially if young children are in the picture. But I also get your need for a little healthy distance.

Talk to your husband openly about your reservations, and also listen to his arguments in favor of the proximity. Perhaps you and your realtor could come up with a wider radius that offers a similar commute time, but also enough distance to allow you privacy and independence.

Family & Parenting

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