life

Grandfather Hates How Granddaughter Dresses

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 23rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I remember my ex-wife complaining about how hard it is to dress little girls in clothes that don’t make them look like mini-hookers or rock stars. She must have done a really good job with our daughter, because I don’t remember any problems when she was little. When our daughter was a teenager, that was a different story, but not as a little girl.

My granddaughter just turned 8, and the outfits she shows up in make Madonna look modest. And forget about it if I say anything to my daughter! What can an old fart do to keep his granddaughter looking like a kid? --- OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA: Do you have any sense of who’s picking out your granddaughter’s wardrobe? If it’s your granddaughter’s choice, your daughter may be touchy because she too is not a fan of her child’s choices. If that’s the case, then you could try supporting your daughter in a crusade to remind your granddaughter she’s still a kid and should dress like one; not to mention that the grown-ups get to have the final say.

On the other hand, if the choices are your daughter’s, then it’s trickier, since she may see your concerns as a criticism of her parenting. You could try tagging along on a shopping trip to get a sense of things, and maybe also take advantage of the opportunity to make some gentle suggestions of items you think would look good on your granddaughter, without harping on their appropriateness.

Family & Parenting
life

Partner Ruled by Superstition

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 22nd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My partner grew up in what I think of as a weird home. His parents were raised by relatives who were super superstitious, and that’s how his parents raised him and his sister. She seems to have been able to move past all the silliness, but sometimes he drives me crazy with his need to follow “the old ways.” For instance, we got into a huge fight because I put my hat on the bed, and one time he went off because I brought home some pussy willows as part of a flower arrangement I was bringing to my mom. I never heard of this stuff until we started dating.

Isn’t it strange for an otherwise intelligent man to be ruled by old wives’ tales? --- HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE

DEAR HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE: In my experience, superstitions are attempts to exert control over an unpredictable world. Deep down inside, I think the majority of us foster some kind of superstition. Consider athletes and performers who practice their own personal rituals to help them, if not be positively perfect, at least to not screw up in front of their audiences.

It's unlikely you’re going to convince your partner to change his thinking on this topic. As long as his superstitions don’t overcome his ability to function normally, I say let him keep them. He’s certainly far from alone.

Love & Dating
life

Wife Doesn't Approve of Husband's Old Friends

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 21st, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I like most of my husband’s friends, especially the ones he’s made on his job, but there are two guys from his old neighborhood who give me the creeps. Except that they grew up near each other, I don’t see anything they have in common with my husband. These guys are going nowhere fast, and every time they come over, they rag on my husband for being a “

*-whipped wimp.” If I say anything, my husband thinks I’m just prejudiced because I grew up in the “good part” of our city. I honestly don’t think that’s the case.

What I do know is that whenever he spends time with them, he comes home cussing and stinking of booze and weed, and he is usually so proud of how he pulled himself out of a bad environment, as am I.

Am I wrong to think these old friends are really no friends at all? --- CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS

DEAR CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS: That your husband hasn’t cut off his old buddies suggests he still feels the need to be connected to his roots. It’s possible that as he settles more into his new life away from what you consider a rougher start, he’ll move further away from the old crowd.

Another possibility is your husband may see himself as something of a lifeline for his old friends, and if he could change his circumstances, then maybe he can help them do so too.

Whatever the case, if you’ve made your feelings known, I’m not sure you’ll do any good to keep bringing up your disapproval each time the three old friends get together.

Friends & Neighbors

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