DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve been through a lot with “Jen”. She’s had a couple of rough years because of bad jobs and worse relationships. She knows I’m always there for her, and I’m happy I can be that kind of a friend. But it would be really nice if Jen listened to me sometimes. I just lost my job when the company I was with for four years went bankrupt, and the guy I was dating and beginning to really care for transferred with his job to Canada.
I’m holding things together pretty well, but Jen never asks me how I’m doing, or if there’s anything she can do to help me. It kind of hurts.
Am I being small or is she, or is this just the way it is? --- MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND
DEAR MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND: You may be paying the price of being the usually strong, altogether one. Since you’ve been listing to Jen for so long, you might need to rattle her cage a little and let her know you need a shoulder to cry on this time around.
If Jen isn’t able or caring enough to reciprocate, she might not be as close a friend as you think she is.