DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve been through a lot with “Jen”. She’s had a couple of rough years because of bad jobs and worse relationships. She knows I’m always there for her, and I’m happy I can be that kind of a friend. But it would be really nice if Jen listened to me sometimes. I just lost my job when the company I was with for four years went bankrupt, and the guy I was dating and beginning to really care for transferred with his job to Canada.

I’m holding things together pretty well, but Jen never asks me how I’m doing, or if there’s anything she can do to help me. It kind of hurts.

Am I being small or is she, or is this just the way it is? --- MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND

DEAR MY TURN FOR NEEDING A FRIEND: You may be paying the price of being the usually strong, altogether one. Since you’ve been listing to Jen for so long, you might need to rattle her cage a little and let her know you need a shoulder to cry on this time around.

If Jen isn’t able or caring enough to reciprocate, she might not be as close a friend as you think she is.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my dad was 16, my grandparents kicked him out of the house. He even admits he was one wild child, but he never forgave his parents and from then on, had as little to do with them as he could.

My grandfather passed away a few months ago and it left me pretty busted up. I was very close with him, and helped my mom take care of him in his last days. She has always gotten along really well with my grandparents and has always been a little mad at my dad for never working to heal the separation between him and his father. Now it’s too late.

I still live at home and every time my dad sees how sad I am, he badmouths my grandpa and it just makes me feel worse. Why can’t he just let it go and let me grieve for the man he gave up on over 30 years ago? --- GRIEVING GRANDSON

DEAR GRIEVING GRANDSON: There are some rifts that can never be closed, and some hurts that never heal. Even if you know some of the circumstances of your father’s split with his parents, you probably don’t know the whole story.

It may be that your father will never speak well of your grandfather. It could even be his way of grieving. Try and see past his resentment and pain, and allow yourself the time you need to miss your grandfather. Honor him in your own way, regardless of your father’s negativity.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife comes from a very large family, and her parents never had much money to spend on furniture and other household items.

Between us, my wife and I make enough money to afford, if not top quality across the board, then certainly good quality things for our house, but my wife has this thing about not spending more than what the cheapest version of anything costs. For instance, we bought a sofa from one of those discount furniture places, because my wife didn’t even want to go to Ikea to look for one. Within a year, the cushions are getting mushy and the frame has already started sagging.

I try to tell her you get what you pay for, but I just don’t seem to get through. What else can I do to convince her? --- MARRIED TO MS. BOTTOM LINE

DEAR MARRIED TO MS. BOTTOM LINE: Maybe getting your wife to do a little research on future furniture and other larger ticket purchases might help her understand that, as you say, “you get what you pay for.” Professional and fellow consumer ratings are readily available online and in print and could convince her that spending a little more up front may mean spending less in the long run.

Be aware, however, that your wife’s not wrong in all cases. There are plenty of instances where higher cost doesn’t guarantee better quality, and that’s another argument for some pre-purchase homework.