life

Perpetually Partying Roommates Makes Studying Impossible for Master’s Candidate

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 20th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’m in the final stretch of my master’s program. I went back to school for my degree, and am the only one in a group of five roommates renting a house who’s still in school. I also work fulltime, like they do, but I just don’t have the time or the interest in partying every weekend and one or two nights during the week like they do. They think I’m a dud, but I’m just trying to get some work done.

I’ve tried going to coffee shops and fast food places that are open late, but I need to spread out my materials sometimes. My program is all on-line, through an all on-line school, so there isn’t any kind of library or study hall, and the local libraries here are only open late once a week and are more like community centers than libraries on weekends.

I’ve tried asking my roommates to take it elsewhere, at least once in a while, but they pull the, “We pay rent, so we can hangout whenever we want.” Seems they forget I pay rent too!

I’m looking for suggestions of how to survive these next few months without losing my mind. --- NEED SOME QUIET

DEAR NEED SOME QUIET: With the growth of all on-line programs, I’d bet you’re far from alone in having to scramble for study space. Through the years I’ve known other adults, many with children, who’ve gone back to school for their degrees. They too had to find a way to get through their course loads with a steady supply of distractions.

Since your roommates aren’t shy about telling you they pay rent for the house, you need to remind them that you contribute your share as well. That should entitle you to at least an occasional patch of quiet ─ or quieter ─ time during the week.

If you haven’t yet, you might also want to see if any of the libraries in your town offer study rooms you can reserve on a regular basis. That would give you more space to spread out, and less noise to deal with, even during the library’s busier times.

life

Tired of Constant Fix-ups

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 19th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since my divorce was final, it seems like everyone I know is trying to set me up with someone. They’ve tricked me into blind dates, they’ve talked to single guy friends about me, they’ve teased me publicly about getting off the bench. Even both my parents get into the act, having some of my dad’s young coworkers “show up” when they know I’m coming over for dinner.

Honestly, I’ve had it. I think I’m the one who should decide when I want to start dating again. All the pushing just has me wanting to hide, and that’s no way to start looking for a new man in my life. How do I tell them to back off? --- I’LL KNOW WHEN I’M READY

DEAR I’LL KNOW WHEN I’M READY: Have you been as upfront with all your friendly neighborhood matchmakers as you are in your letter? If not, try telling them what you told me, that you’ll know when you’re ready and don’t need any help at this time.

While it may be reassuring that you have so many people who are concerned about your happiness, it is your life, and they need to understand that.

life

Have Linens ─ Will Travel

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 14th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every time my mother-in-law comes for a visit, she brings her own bedding and towels. Honestly, we have plenty of each, and they’re completely clean and fresh. She says she figures it’s less work for me, but I think it’s for other reasons, none of which make me feel like she’s got much confidence in me and my housekeeping abilities.

I still continue to put out everything she might need, but should I bother? --- BUMMED BY BEDDING

DEAR BUMMED BY BEDDING: I vote for continuing to be a good hostess and put out everything you believe would add to her comfort. Whatever her motives for BYOing, don’t take it personally. Some people are just more at ease with familiar items with them when they travel, even to relatives’ homes.

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