life

LW Wants Equal Time with Both Sets of In-laws

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 23rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know my wife is super close to her parents, and I like spending time with them. But it seems since we got married, we spend more time with her family than mine. My mom hasn’t said anything about it, but I can tell she feels like we don’t come around too much.

I have mentioned that I’d like to put in more time with my family, and my wife says okay, and then it never happens, or at least it takes a few weeks for her to make time to get to my mom’s house. Both sets of parents live pretty close to us, so it isn’t like we have to do a lot of travelling.

It’s beginning to bug me, and I don’t know what to do to make the situation better. --- LOOKING FOR EQUAL TIME

DEAR LOOKING FOR EQUAL TIME: It’s probably worth it to remind your wife about your desire to spread out your parent time more evenly between the two families. Having “mentioned it to her” sounds as if it’s something that came up casually, and she may not yet understand this is becoming an issue for you, and perhaps your mom.

Since both your families live nearby, maybe you could invite all the in-laws over to your place more often. That way you’d have at least a chance to keep things on a more equitable footing. This is not a substitute for having separate time with each family, but it might help prevent hard feelings down the road by letting both sides know you’re at least making an effort.

life

Bride Nervous About Bachelor Party

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 22nd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My fiancé and I are getting married in late November and his brother and old buddies have already started planning the bachelor party.

My fiancé is far from wild, but his brother and some of the other guys are. I don’t want to be the jealous, crazy bride, but how do I let my fiancé know I’m not thrilled with the talk of wild times ahead? --- NERVOUS BRIDE

DEAR NERVOUS BRIDE: You shouldn’t feel weird about letting your fiancé know what’s on your mind. If you’re marrying the man, you hopefully have already established a basis of trust.

For safety’s sake, though, you might want to make sure that at least one of the guys attending the party is more on the responsible side, especially since you feel the planners aren’t.

life

Cubicle Chatter Drives Coworker Nuts

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 17th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work in a cubicle centered between two others. We do customer service, so everyone is on the phone most of the day. We do have downtime, though, which I like to use to get caught-up with reports, and the woman in the cubicle on the right spends it yakking with her friends, and she isn’t exactly discreet about it, especially when our boss isn’t around. She’s what my mom calls a “cackler,” and when she gets going, it drives me up the cubicle.

She’s not at all a bad person. In fact, she’s pretty nice and was one of the people who trained me. How do I get some peace and quiet without offending her? --- NEEDS SOME QUIET TIME

DEAR NEEDS SOME QUIET TIME: Why do you think bringing up her decibel level will offend her? She may be unaware of how loud she gets, and a simple conversation with her could be all that’s needed. Just be sure to choose your words carefully, perhaps letting her know her private business is getting heard by the entire office.

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