DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I think it’s kind of weird that my mother stays in touch with my ex-girlfriend. We only went together for about a year and a half, and now Mom texts and talks to her pretty regularly. Doesn’t it seem weird? --- NOT LIKING THIS

DEAR NOT LIKING THIS: A year and a half is certainly enough time for your ex and your mother to have developed a relationship of their own. So long as your mom isn’t holding her up as some kind of standard of perfection against which all other girlfriends are judged, you should just let it go.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am seeing a guy who works with a bunch of former military types. To say they cuss a lot is an understatement. When my boyfriend comes over to my house for a meal or to hang out, he keeps the cussing up, even in front of my 83-year-old grandma. I pretty much try to screen it out and my dad has said something to him a couple of times, but I know it really bugs my mom, and I’ve seen the look on my grandmother’s face more than once when he keeps dropping F bombs.

I’ve asked him to tone it down, but he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong. What more can I do? --- WITH A ROUGH ONE

DEAR WITH A ROUGH ONE: There seems to be a diminishing awareness, or concern, that not everyone is okay with constant cussing. Your parents and grandma aren’t alone. Personally, it bugs me too. It is possible to exert some effort to modify your vocabulary in certain circumstances. Your boyfriend’s lack of effort shows disrespect to your family, and if you can’t persuade him that he needs to tone it down ─ even after being spoken to by your dad ─ then it might be better if you limit his exposure to your parents and grandmother. I doubt he’s scoring any points with them based on his conversational skills anyway.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: In his last year of college I loaned my brother some money to help him pay the last month’s rent before he moved home. He had been working at a restaurant that closed a few weeks before he graduated, and no one wanted to hire someone for such a short time.

I don’t regret helping him out, but that was two years ago, and he has been working steadily since moving back home. He doesn’t pay rent for now, but I do, and every time I remind him about the money he owes me, he tells me he’ll get it for me the next time he gets paid, but so far, nothing’s come my way. I have even mentioned it to our dad, and he sticks up for my brother, saying maybe I should forgive the loan, which I might have thought of doing, but not anymore. It has created tension every time I go home to see my parents and my brother is there and I hate that. Is it petty to want my money back? --- STILL WAITING FOR PAYDAY

DEAR STILL WAITING FOR PAYDAY: Shakespeare’s advice, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be” never goes out of style for a reason.

You have a choice to make. Either you give your brother an ultimatum for repayment by a designated date, or you walk away from the debt, forgiving and forgetting ─ two actions that don’t necessarily work together in reality.

If you chose to collect, make the case of your need strong, letting him know you have bills to pay. If you opt for forgiveness, try to look at it as a belated graduation, birthday, Hanukkah, and Christmas gift all rolled into one ─ and, leave it at that.