DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I hate it when I see my mom nag my dad to get something done, but for the first time in my life I’m beginning to understand. I can never get my boyfriend to take care of any of the things around the house that need his attention. What do I do to not turn into my mother? --- NOT WANTING TO NAG

DEAR NOT WANTING TO NAG: Your perception of what needs to be done may not be the same as your boyfriend’s. Finding common ground on that issue’s the first step.

Next, make a list of those priorities you can agree on, and let him know that you two might need to hire someone to tackle the jobs he can’t or won’t take on. Hitting him in the pocketbook may provide needed motivation if that’s all that’s lacking. It might also give him the chance to be honest about his handyman interests and abilities.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom asked me to check on the house while she was away on a business trip. When I went into the kitchen, I saw the landline’s message light blinking. My mom is old school about the house phone. I texted her to see if she wanted me to check the messages and she said she did, since my grandma will call the landline if she can’t get my mother on the cell.

The message was from my mom’s ex. The caller ID showed he had been trying her number a bunch of times over the past couple of days. The message said her cell voicemail box was full, and asked her to call him as soon as she had the chance.

I thought my mom had gotten rid of this guy weeks ago. He was a real jerk to her, and I was glad when she dumped him. Now I see he’s still in the picture. I didn’t say anything to her beyond relaying the message, and she didn’t say anything at all other than thanking me for taking care of things.

The more I think about it, the more worried I get. I don’t want to be a nosy daughter, but I am not happy this guy’s still in the picture. Do I have a right to ask her about it? --- MORE WORRIED THAN CURIOUS

DEAR MORE WORRIED THAN CURIOUS: As a daughter, you have a right to be worried. The bottom line, though, is your mom’s an adult and entitled to run her life as she sees fit.

It’s possible your mother and her ex are no longer a couple, but have chosen to stay in touch. If the situation’s making you uneasy, discuss it with her. But unless there’s cause for concern about her personal safety, accept it’s none of your business.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our youngest is still in college, so my husband and I are okay with his stuff still being in the house, but his older brothers and his sister are now out on their own, in their own places, and although they did a pretty good job of taking their things with them when they left, they all have started bringing items here for us to hold onto until they have bigger homes in the future, whenever that may be. Are we wrong to stop taking any further additions? We want to downsize at some point, and that won’t be possible with all their stuff here. --- WAREHOUSE MANAGERS IN RESIDENCE

DEAR WAREHOUSE MANAGERS IN RESIDENCE: Getting ready to downsize can be a huge job, so why make it harder on yourselves? I think you’re perfectly right to shut the storage facility down. Suggest to your kids that they immediately stop collecting stuff until they’re ready to provide a more permanent place for it all, and recommend they find alternate storage ─ space sooner rather than later ─ for what’s already being kept with you. Make it clear you’re looking to downsize, and your home can no longer be their free climate-controlled warehouse.