life

Timing for a New Puppy Has to Be Right

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 9th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My fiancé and I just bought a house and now we have our own home and a yard, I want to get a puppy, but he thinks it’s too soon and that we’re not home enough to be fair to a new pet. I keep hearing about doggie daycare places not far from here where we could leave a new dog to socialize with other dogs on days when we are going to be out of the house for longer than usual hours.

I think it would be a good experience for us to have a dog. Am I being selfish, like my fiancé seems to think I am? --- WANT A PUPPY TO LOVE

DEAR WANT A PUPPY TO LOVE: If you just moved into a new place, and you have jobs that mean you’ll be out of the house for long periods, getting a high-energy, high-maintenance pet ─ which pretty much sums up puppies ─ may not be the best thing to do at this time in your lives.

If you are set on getting a dog, consider one beyond puppyhood, preferably housebroken and past the more demanding phases that come with the first year or two of most dogs’ lives. Shelters are often full of adult dogs who need a loving home they’re mature enough not to destroy. But keep in mind that every pet needs and deserves time, love, and care, no matter how young or old they are.

life

Son Overbuys Car, Stresses Mom

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 4th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son just graduated college and received some cash from our family. His grandparents were very generous, and both sets gave him large gifts. We didn’t give him money, but said we would help him out with a car so he can get to his new job. We figured he would get something modest, but instead he purchased what I consider much more car than he needs, and can ultimately afford. We co-signed on the loan so he could get a better rate than he would have gotten on his own, but now I am thinking we just enabled him to go further into debt. The insurance and loan payments are what it takes him almost two weeks to make at work, and now he and his buddies are hot to get a place of their own, split four ways.

I just worry my son is going to overextend himself and get into trouble. Was I wrong to help him out with the loan? --- ACCIDENTAL ENABLER

DEAR ACCIDENTAL ENABLER: The time to prevent his overbuying has come and gone. Your heart was in the right place, but you might have had some peace of mind steering him toward a more practical purchase. Keep in mind, though, there are also positive ways to enable.

Share some suggestions on how he can economize and budget. Then, step back and let him learn from his mistakes and his successes. It’s up to him to claim them both.

life

BF Has Hard Time Dealing with His GF's Periods

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 3rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up with two sisters, and I have to say, neither of my sisters, and certainly not my mom, ever had the PMS drama that my girlfriend has. And it doesn’t end with the PMS. When her period hits, she climbs in bed with a heating pad and doesn’t get up for at least 24 hours. Is she being dramatic, or is this really a thing? I feel weird asking any of the women I know about it because, for one thing, I’m betting they’ll think I’m being a jerk. --- SUFFERING THROUGH HER PERIODS

DEAR SUFFERING THROUGH HER PERIODS: Yes, rough periods ─ before, during, and after ─ are a very real thing. It’s possible you mom and sisters just had an easier time than some women, or they may have had ways of dealing with their cycles unknown to you.

Be patient and supportive of your girlfriend. If her pain continues to be debilitating, and she hasn’t already seen a doctor about it, she should consider doing so. There are medical conditions that can contribute to the severity of symptoms that many women take for granted as being part of the monthly package.

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