life

Son Overbuys Car, Stresses Mom

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 4th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son just graduated college and received some cash from our family. His grandparents were very generous, and both sets gave him large gifts. We didn’t give him money, but said we would help him out with a car so he can get to his new job. We figured he would get something modest, but instead he purchased what I consider much more car than he needs, and can ultimately afford. We co-signed on the loan so he could get a better rate than he would have gotten on his own, but now I am thinking we just enabled him to go further into debt. The insurance and loan payments are what it takes him almost two weeks to make at work, and now he and his buddies are hot to get a place of their own, split four ways.

I just worry my son is going to overextend himself and get into trouble. Was I wrong to help him out with the loan? --- ACCIDENTAL ENABLER

DEAR ACCIDENTAL ENABLER: The time to prevent his overbuying has come and gone. Your heart was in the right place, but you might have had some peace of mind steering him toward a more practical purchase. Keep in mind, though, there are also positive ways to enable.

Share some suggestions on how he can economize and budget. Then, step back and let him learn from his mistakes and his successes. It’s up to him to claim them both.

life

BF Has Hard Time Dealing with His GF's Periods

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 3rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up with two sisters, and I have to say, neither of my sisters, and certainly not my mom, ever had the PMS drama that my girlfriend has. And it doesn’t end with the PMS. When her period hits, she climbs in bed with a heating pad and doesn’t get up for at least 24 hours. Is she being dramatic, or is this really a thing? I feel weird asking any of the women I know about it because, for one thing, I’m betting they’ll think I’m being a jerk. --- SUFFERING THROUGH HER PERIODS

DEAR SUFFERING THROUGH HER PERIODS: Yes, rough periods ─ before, during, and after ─ are a very real thing. It’s possible you mom and sisters just had an easier time than some women, or they may have had ways of dealing with their cycles unknown to you.

Be patient and supportive of your girlfriend. If her pain continues to be debilitating, and she hasn’t already seen a doctor about it, she should consider doing so. There are medical conditions that can contribute to the severity of symptoms that many women take for granted as being part of the monthly package.

life

New Relationship Could Jeopardize Job

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 2nd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I started seeing a guy who works at company that competes with the company where I work. The owners of the two used to be partners, but about 10 years ago they went their separate ways, not without a little bad blood. I don’t want to have problems if my boss finds out I’m with one of his competitor’s employees, but I also don’t want him to think I’m sneaking around with the enemy. Do I tell my boss, or just take my chances? --- LIKE THE GUY FROM THE OTHER CAMP

DEAR LIKE THE GUY FROM THE OTHER CAMP: As long as neither you nor your boyfriend are divulging any proprietary or confidential information that could harm your respective companies, and provided you are not breaking any contractual agreements, your boss may not be happy about your choice in men, but he has no right to direct your life outside the office.

However, and it’s a big however, it’s not unreasonable to expect some tension in your relationship resulting from working for competitors. You’ll need to take office talk off the table, and exercise constant vigilance to avoid accidental slip-ups that could cost either or both of you your jobs.

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