life

Religiously Devout Woman Worries About Scaring-off Boyfriend

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 15th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been seeing “Jerry” for a few months and I find myself getting more and more attracted and attached to him. He comes from a background that doesn’t include any formal religious practices, and I come from a strong faith-based home. I have no problem with Jerry doing ─ or not doing ─ his own thing religiously, because I am firm enough in my faith to be comfortable with his choices. But I haven’t yet told him how much following my faith means to me. I am afraid he’ll think I am some kind of religious fanatic.

Do I keep it to myself, or risk sharing my beliefs with him? --- SECURE IN FAITH

DEAR SECURE IN FAITH: Since you haven’t mentioned your commitment to your faith in the months you’ve been seeing “Jerry”, it’s quite possible he’ll simply accept it as part of the package he’s been getting to know.

Because your faith is so central to you, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes aware of it ─ if he isn’t already ─ and it isn’t fair to either of you to hide an important part of who you are. Such concealments can lead to misunderstandings and resentment over time. Give him some credit for being as open-minded as you are, and remember it isn’t at all unusual for successful couples to have different views on religion.

life

Husband's Yardwork Obsession Bugs Wife

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 14th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We bought our first house three years ago, and right after we unpacked and set the house up, my husband started fussing with the yardwork. He’s up early every Saturday morning and doesn’t get done until late in the afternoon. Honestly, the yard does look awesome, but I don’t get what he’s doing all that time. Besides, it makes it hard for us to do anything else during the Saturdays from April through October.

Do you think his “hobby” as he calls it is a healthy one? --- THE GARDNER’S WIFE

DEAR THE GARDNER’S WIFE: We all need hobbies, and I can think of a lot less healthy and productive ones than spending a few hours a week keeping your property looking good, at least at ground level. I know many people who find it therapeutic to work outdoors, especially if they are inside for their jobs all week long.

While your husband is busy doing his thing, you should take advantage of the time to also get busy with pursuits or projects of your own.

life

Dad Doesn't Hide His Feelings Towards Son-in-law

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 9th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have been married for a while now, and from the time we started going together, my father has made it clear he doesn’t like my husband. It’s been a while since he has gone out of his way to openly make my husband feel uncomfortable, but after all this time, you can still feel a definite tension whenever the two of them are in a room together, and my father never stops with the passive-aggressive comments.

I try to ignore it, and so does my husband most of the time, but sometimes it’s more than he can take, and he pushes back, and it can get ugly.

I’m at the point where it’s just easier to avoid my dad all the time. It hurts me that I have to do that, but it hurts me even more that he constantly disses the man I picked to share the rest of my life with. Am I wrong to avoid my father? --- DAUGHTER CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR DAUGHTER CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: The only slightly encouraging thing you mentioned is that your dad has backed off a little bit, and maybe that will continue to be the case. However, until you see real evidence of a softening in his adverse feelings toward your husband, and until he can keep his thoughts to himself, I think you’re right in avoiding situations where the two men are together.

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