DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I are getting pretty serious and have begun talking at least about the possibility of getting married. He has two kids from his first marriage. The oldest is a 12-year-old girl and the youngest is a 9-year-old boy. The son seems to be okay with me, until his sister starts in giving me attitude, usually by pretending I don’t exist, even when we’re in the same room. Once that starts, her brother does the same thing. This usually only happens when my boyfriend isn’t around, so he hasn’t seen what is going on.

I have told their dad a little about how the kids treat me when he’s not there. He thinks I’m just being supersensitive and that his kids wouldn’t act like that, and he insists they never have with anyone else he’s dated.

I love the guy, but don’t know if I’m up to dealing with his kids’ attitude. How long do I put up with their freezing me out when their dad isn’t looking? --- MAYBE WOULD-BE STEPMOM

DEAR MAYBE WOULD-BE STEPMOM: If you’re seriously thinking of marrying the man, I’d say you’re going to have to take the kids as part of the whole package. It wouldn’t be wise to give your boyfriend an either them or me ultimatum, because with young kids in the picture, any dad worth his salt will choose his kids.

Unless there’s a reason to rush into marriage, I’d say give it more time. Don’t let the kids know they’re getting to you, but rather show them you’re not going anywhere, and they need to get used to your being in their dad’s life.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I love how my wife looks, and I tell her this all the time, but she feels some need to work out, hard, every day of the week, sometimes for two or more hours. She never sees herself as done, which I know can be a good thing, but now I am beginning to think is more a sign of addiction than a self-improvement plan, especially when I see how jittery she gets when she misses even one day in the gym.

How do I convince her I’m worried about her and that she does not need to do overkill workouts to be an attractive woman? --- ALREADY LOVE HOW SHE LOOKS

DEAR ALREADY LOVE HOW SHE LOOKS: Exercise addiction is a very real thing, often connected to body image issues.

If you believe your wife is not just committed to her exercise regime, but addicted to it, you need to take steps to help her back off the intensity and frequency of her workouts.

If she doesn’t respond to your suggestions, consider getting her some professional counseling, which, as in the case of any type of addiction, will be a hard sell if she doesn’t feel she has a problem, but it might be what’s ultimately needed to break the cycle she’s in.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I really believe my mom is losing her hearing. She just turned 63 and everyone in the family has had issues with what’s gotten lost in translation when talking with her. We keep trying to convince her it’s time to get her hearing checked, but she won’t do anything about it. I don’t get why she doesn’t want to help herself. What more can we do to help her? --- MY MOM IS DEAF TO GOING DEAF

DEAR MY MOM IS DEAF TO GOING DEAF: I don’t know anyone who’s happy to think of losing the things we do as we age, and it’s natural to pretend we’re physically better-off than we are. Denial is a strong placebo, but it’s just that, a placebo.

Your mom might be more responsive if the suggestion to get her hearing checked came from someone outside the family. Maybe an old friend, someone who’s inclined to be more empathetic towards her situation, could be induced to talk to her, especially if that friend has also noticed a decline in your mother’s hearing.