life

Night Owl vs. Early Bird Makes for Marital Stress

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 15th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even before our daughter was born, my wife was an early bird. I’ve always been a night owl. For years this has been a challenge for us, especially on weekends, when she’s up and ready to go way before I am, and she’s calling it a night when I’m just getting started.

Now that we have a kid it seems to be worse. Even when we get a sitter on a Saturday, we end up making it an early night because my wife loses steam by 10 or 11 p.m., when I’m just hitting my pace.

I don’t want to go out without her a lot, but I miss having a nightlife, and I know she’s sometimes frustrated because she has to wait around for me to be ready to get going on Saturdays and Sundays. What’s a good compromise? --- NIGHT OWL

DEAR NIGHT OWL: Since you’re both dedicated to your ends of the day, a little effort and compromise will be required to find common ground.

You might want to try switching off on doing things early in the day one weekend, and late at night the next.

Beyond that, there’s no reason you can’t enjoy separate, guilt-free peak hours the rest of the time. Your wife can relish a little early morning quiet (until it’s time to be Mommy), and you can get out with buddies who are more on your schedule.

life

Young-Looking Counselor Gets No Respect

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 14th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am nearly 29 years old, but I look 20, and people often treat me like a kid.

I work in the career guidance office of a university, and part of my job is to make presentations to groups of soon-to-be graduating students on topics like dressing for success and tips for interviewing.

It’s demoralizing to me to be treated with disrespect and sometimes outright rudeness during my presentations by people who think I’m younger than them and don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve been successfully out in the workforce for years now and I take pains to dress professionally and project what I consider is a professional image, but nothing seems to work. What more can I do? --- BABY-FACED COUNSELOR

DEAR BABY-FACED COUNSELOR: If you haven’t already, it’s time you reach out to either your boss or a more experienced coworker to see if they have some tips for taming an unruly audience. Perhaps they could either observe one of your presentations, or you could sit in on one of theirs.

You also need to accept your listeners believing they already know what you’re trying to tell them ─ whether they do or not. Being a know-it-all is a perennial occupational hazard for college students.

Finally, give yourself credit for reaching those in your audience who know how to behave like grown-ups and who are actually hoping to benefit from the information you’re sharing. Like the loudmouths, they’re out there too.

life

The Snoop Next Door

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 13th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There is an older woman who lives in the house across the street from my boyfriend. I know I’m not being paranoid, because my boyfriend and a lot of other people have commented on how this woman is always peeking out the window to see who is coming and going. She waits until she sees my boyfriend or one of the other neighbors heading out to get their mail and she nearly runs out of her house to “get her mail” too. Then she starts a conversation with whoever was really getting their mail, asking all kinds of questions about what’s happening in their house or with their family, or in our case, between my boyfriend and me.

I don’t want to sound like a crank myself, but how do we get this woman to butt out? --- NEED SOME PRIVACY

DEAR NEED SOME PRIVACY: There have always been and always will be plenty of what my mother used to politely refer to as “curious” neighbors in this world. In some cases, it isn’t so bad having someone keeping an eye on the neighborhood, but when it begins to feel creepy or intrusive, that’s another story.

The next time your boyfriend is approached, he could try changing the to a less personal, safe subject that doesn’t give her any openings to pry. If that doesn’t work, the next step would be to flat out, but politely, tell her he likes to keep his private life private. And if he’s still getting the third degree, he might want to turn the tables on her and come up with a very personal question to ask her about her own private matters.

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