DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom just got engaged to a man she has been dating for about a year. Although he hasn’t done anything I know of to hurt my mother, I just get a mean vibe from the guy. She hasn’t dated much since she and my dad divorced several years ago, but I don’t recall having this bad feeling about anyone else she was seeing. Do I share my feelings with her before it’s too late? --- FUTURE STEPSON
DEAR FUTURE STEPSON: It’s possible you never had a weird vibe from any of your mom’s other suitors because none of them made it to the future husband stage. Unless you see evidence of his mistreating your mom, you need to allow her to make her own choices about her love life.
That said, don’t completely negate your instincts. Keep an eye out for any red flags, and leave the door wide open for Mom to reach out to you if things don’t go the way she hopes they will. If you bash her fiancé at this point, she may not choose to confide in you at a later date.