life

Ex-Boyfriend Remains Apple of Mom’s Eye

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 26th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was with a guy from my freshman to my senior year of college. We broke up right before we graduated last spring because I found out he was cheating on me with a girl from his work. All these years my mom has absolutely loved this guy as a future son-in-law. She was nearly as upset over the breakup as I was, but at least I knew why it happened. She doesn’t know yet and I don’t know if I should tell her, especially since she keeps unfavorably comparing the new guy in my life to the one who stomped on my heart. Should I tell her the truth or let her keep her little fantasy of my ex? --- MORE INFORMED DAUGHTER

DEAR MORE INFORMED: I think it’s time you told your mother the truth about what happened with guy number 1, if for no other reason than to inspire her to let up on guy number 2. You don’t have to go into gory details, but she deserves a shot at putting things in perspective.

life

Couple Struggles with Different Diets

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 25th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I was in middle school I have struggled to maintain what I consider a healthy weight. I gain weight really easily if I am not careful. My girlfriend is just the opposite. She can eat anything and even if she doesn’t work out for weeks it doesn’t show.

While I’m at work, I’m good about what I eat. It’s when I get home that I have a harder time since my girlfriend moved in. No matter how much I hint, she keeps buying food I should not eat, and cooking meals that are way off my meal plan. She seems so happy to be taking care of our dinners, and I don’t believe she has to only eat the same things I do, but I just cannot keep eating this way – not to mention the snack foods she buys and has around the house.

I know having two separate meals every night is nuts, but I’m not sure what else to do. Any ideas? --- WATCHING MY WEIGHT

DEAR WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT: Clearly your hints aren’t working. Be direct with your girlfriend so she can hopefully gain a better understanding of how to support your dietary program. Start openly discussing what works best for you and how you can adapt your dueling diets to each other’s needs. Take a more active role in meal planning. Go food shopping together. Alternate who does the cooking. And make it a point to eat out once in a while so you can each indulge in a dish the other might not choose.

As to the snack foods, put them out of sight and encourage your girlfriend to enjoy them at work or when you’re not around.

life

Husband Upsets Wife by Hiring Cleaning Service

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 20th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: So, I hire a cleaning service to make life easier for my wife and me, since we work all week and then spend the weekend working on the house. Next thing I know, every time I try to get her to schedule the cleaners’ first visit my wife is pissed and won’t tell me why. What did I do wrong? --- THOUGHT I WAS HELPING

DEAR THOUGHT: It could be you wife got the impression you don’t think she’s capable of managing her own home, or that she’s not managing it to your standards. It could also be:

She actually enjoys housework, finding it therapeutic after a long workweek.

She’s concerned about the cost of doing something she figures you guys can take care of yourselves.

Or, she may be of the opinion that she should’ve been part of the decision to bring in cleaners.

Of course, it may be none of the above, but the only way to know for sure is to ask her the same question you asked me – preferably in a calm, non-sarcastic, non-defensive way – and take it from there.

Once you clear the air, she may be more open to having some outside help, at least every now and then.

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