life

Mom’s Continued Tears Baffle LW

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 19th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My younger sister left for bootcamp nearly a month ago and my mom is still crying at least a little every day. It isn’t like she hasn’t had one of her kids move away before. Both my older brother and I left for college right after high school. Why is she such a mess this time around? --- RUNNING LOW ON TISSUES

DEAR RUNNING LOW: How do you know your mother didn’t shed more than a few tears when you and your brother went off to college? Separation anxiety isn’t just for the ones who leave.

Be patient with your mom. Unlike college, military life doesn’t come with a lot of time for visits home. There’s no gradual weening process like there usually is when your kid is away at college and able to put in at least an appearance during winter, spring, and summer breaks. And, during the first phases of training, the newly inducted have limited opportunities to even make phone calls.

Encourage your mom to write your sister letters, as many and as often as she can. It’ll give Mom a kind of virtual time with her, as well as helping your sister feel less disconnected from home.

And it wouldn’t hurt if the rest of the family got into the act too.

life

Hot and Cold Running Friendship

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 18th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have played softball with “Pat” for years. We started out in the kid’s rec leagues, were on the same travel team, and this past spring both joined the same adult rec team. Pat is a good player and friendly during the season, and always has been. For a few months each year she and I are pretty tight. Then, as soon as the season is over, Pat not only disappears, but she rarely bothers to return calls or texts. It is as if I become invisible the minute I am no longer part of her regular schedule.

This has been going on for years and I know it shouldn’t still bother me, but it does. Am I doing something wrong, or is she? --- THE INVISIBLE TEAMMATE

DEAR TEAMMATE: There are some people who compartmentalize their lives so completely that they’re uncomfortable when elements from one compartment spill over into another. Pat may have that mindset, and if so, don’t take it personally. If you enjoy being with her within the context of softball, then just go with it, accepting the reality that Pat, like opening day, will be back next season.

life

A Furry Inheritance

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | September 13th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My great-grandmother recently passed away. When I was little we would always spend at least one of the holidays at her apartment and we would stay for a few days. My cousin, who is the same age as I am, and I would play dress-up using some of our great-grandmother’s old clothes. She even let us put on her old fur coats, which I remember weighed a ton and made us sweat.

Now that she is gone, we found out she left one of the fur coats each to my cousin and me. While we both think this was a sweet gesture, neither of us wants the coats, but we don’t know what to do with them. We figure they may be worth something. Any suggestions? --- COVERED IN FUR

DEAR COVERED: Unfortunately, real fur coats these days are not generally worth nearly what they were when they were in vogue. But if you’re not looking to keep them, you still have a few options for what to do with your legacy ─ although none of them is likely to make you much, if any money.

You could consider donating them to a local coat drive, thrift store, or theatre company; consigning them to a shop that accepts vintage furs; listing on eBay; or checking into organizations that collect old furs to repurpose them into a variety of pet and household items.

Whatever you chose to do with the coats, you’ll hopefully be honoring the memory of an important lady in your lives.

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