life

Son Has Second Thoughts About Joint Banking Account

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 24th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I turned 18 and changed over my custodial bank accounts into regular ones, my mom insisted she be on the accounts too. Now she checks my banking activity on-line and is always telling me what I should do with my money.

Can you give me one good reason to not have her name taken off my accounts? --- SON OF A SNOOP

DEAR SON OF A SNOOP: If you truly believe your mother is out for your cash, you need to get her name off the accounts immediately. On the other hand, if you trust your mom, I can think of at least three good reasons to keep her onboard for a while.

Look at it as a precaution similar to leaving a key to your house with a reliable neighbor or trusted friend before going out-of-town. Such joint accounts can be a temporary peace of mind measure that’s especially useful for college students, young single military service members, or others who find themselves far from home for extended periods of time.

Parent/young adult child joint accounts have been referred to as money management with “training wheels.” Having a more experienced set of eyes on your accounts may come with the modest cost of having to listen to a parental lecture on what Mom considers less than sound spending habits, but that’s a small price to pay for a potentially invaluable safety net.

Many banks offer benefits like higher interest or fewer fees for bundled accounts. Hitching your accounts to your parents’ for a bit might help everyone save, or even make, a little extra cash.

life

Cutting Slack for Bipolar Kid

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 22nd, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder when I was still in high school. Since then I have had a couple of pretty bad episodes, much of which I don’t remember.

For the past six years I have been stable with the help of a good therapist and meds. I think I’m doing really good, but all I have to do is have a day when I’m grouchy or super happy and my mom gets all over me thinking I’m going into an episode. Is there any reason I can’t just have a good or bad day like everyone else? --- LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

DEAR LIKE: You’re certainly entitled to have good and bad days, just like the rest of the world. But you also need to understand there are people out there, like your mom, who have seen you in crisis and are going to tend to be concerned when they see something that looks a bit off. You may not remember everything that happened during your episodes, but some of your loved ones probably do, and you can bet they don’t want to see you in either emotional or physical pain or danger again.

So when it comes to cutting a little slack, it needs to go both ways. Look at the hovering as proof you have people around who are there for you in both good times and bad, and try to give them credit for their concern.

life

Self-Anointed “Chef” Needs Help

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 21st, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend is sweet, considerate, and a really bad cook, although he thinks he is a Top Chef. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but he doesn’t know what he is doing in the kitchen and I keep coming up with excuses to avoid his “Dine In Specials” as he calls them. What can I do to save my taste buds and not hurt a good guy’s feelings? --- NOT DINING IN

DEAR NOT DINING IN: Since he’s showing an interest in cooking, why not push him in a more “tasteful” direction by gifting him with a cooking class or two under the auspices of trying to help him expand his repertoire. You might even look into couples cooking classes. That way you can sell him on the idea that you too want to hone your culinary skills.

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